A Letter to My Son on My First Mother’s Day as a ‘Boy Mom’

To my sweet boy,

I didn’t think being a mom to a boy would be much different than being a mom to a girl. After all, the concept is all the same. Love and take care of your child. Simple as that. But being a mom to you, my sweet darling boy, is different than being a mom to your sister in ways I didn’t expect. I smugly thought I had everything figured out in my five years of motherhood. As a girl myself, I figured I already knew a lot of what to expect in a daughter. But when you were born, and I saw your sweet, round, angelic face for the first time, something just felt different. And on this first Mother’s Day as a boy mom, I want to tell you why.

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You’re Already Uniquely You

You have the sweetest, most darling personality. When you smile, it’s like the sun is shining. You make our lives better, including your sister’s. I feel a deep connection with you and an overwhelming need to protect you, just as I did with your sister. But you’re a boy. I also feel the need to make sure that I nurture you the right way so you grow into a fine young man.

I know no two children are the same, but your personality is so strikingly different from that of your sister’s. From birth, your sister has been quite feisty. Tough. Hard headed. I got that sense, even as a baby, that you wouldn’t want to mess with her. Whereas you, my boy, have a chill and relaxed personality. I feel it. I sense it. 

Now, to be fair, each child has their unique personality—boy or girl. And ideally, sex has nothing to do with that. As you grow, I will begin to see even more of who you are as a little man. I hope with my help as your mother, you will grow into a well-rounded person, full of wonder and wisdom. Yes, you’re easy to handle now, but you’re a baby. It’s too soon to tell what the future will hold. 

Being a ‘Boy Mom’ Shouldn’t Be So Different, But It Is

I see why people talk so much about being a “boy mom” and a “girl mom.” There is a difference in how you parent a boy as opposed to a girl. I know it sounds strange, but I can’t even quite pinpoint the difference, but I feel it. I feel it in my heart.

For me, with a girl, I think I hope to raise a little best friend—one to shop with and dress up with and do all that fun girly stuff. I hope that bond will last forever. Whereas with raising a boy, I feel I need to put in a little more effort in the hopes of creating an unbreakable bond that can be harder to curate as a boy gets older. In my heart, I want to cultivate a closeness knowing that you will still call when you’re older and still want to go out for lunch and explore the world together and ask for your old mom’s advice. 

I know being a boy mom won’t always be like this. I know eventually, especially as you get older, things will get messier. More complicated. More boyish and sloppy and gross. I’m sure you’ll go through your superhero phase—whether it will be with Spiderman or Batman. Or maybe you won’t. Maybe you’ll be obsessed with Hot Wheels and turn your room into a race track. Maybe you’ll want to rough house with your friends and will drag dirt in on the clean kitchen floor. I know being a boy mom will eventually be a different phase than the sweet, cuddly newborn phase we’re in now. It will eventually go from being a boy mom to a teen boy mom to a man mom. 

I Want to Prove the ‘Boy Mom’ Stereotypes Wrong

But I want you to know, as your mother, that I’m (mostly) ready for all of that. I’m ready for the questions you will ask me that I may try to answer but maybe will feel slightly embarrassed and will direct them to your father. I anticipate your silly questions that only boys will ask, like where do boogers come from? I’m ready to see your relationship with your sister develop and see you turn into a protective brother. I’m even ready to fight with you and watch you argue with your dad. My sweet boy, I’m ready to take on anything and everything for you because I’m your mom.

I will do my best not to turn you into too much of a mama’s boy while respecting your space and privacy. I want you to grow on your own and figure things out, but know that no matter what, your mom will always be here for you to help you whenever you need it. 

There is an old adage that says, “A son is a son ’till he takes a wife, but a daughter is a daughter for all of her life.” I guess what it comes down to is, I want to prove that saying wrong. Boys are more likely to flee the nest, have their own lives, and be more separated from their mothers. I want you to do that—I want you to have exactly the life you want, but I always want to be part of it. And I want you to want me to be a part of it. 

“I want you to have exactly the life you want, but I always want to be part of it—and I want you to want me to be a part of it.” 

On this first Mother’s Day as a boy mom, I want you to know that I want to do everything in my power to help you grow into a strong, intelligent, and fine young man. I want you to grow up knowing your worth and understanding how to respect and value people.

You have colored my world in a whole new way that I never thought possible. I see things through your eyes in a different way, experiencing things through the eyes of a little boy in a whole new and magical way. I hope that we continue to grow together every step of the way.

Love, Your Mommy