"When Robert F. Kennedy Jr. (RFK Jr.) stood at a press conference this week and called people like me and my son part of an “autism epidemic,” my heart sank. Not because I was surprised, but because I was hearing the United States’ Secretary of Health and Human Services say the quiet thoughts people have about autism out loud on a national platform. In that moment, he gave voice to the fear and stigma that so many of us live with every day.
For the able-bodied American, being born or becoming disabled, is a terrifying fear. It’s seen as a tragedy that needs to be fixed or managed. This fear of disability fuels narratives that devalue lives like mine and my son’s—lives that don’t fit neatly into able-bodied expectations. It’s this same fear that underlies comments about autism like Kennedy’s. I know I’m not alone in the outrage at his comments, but here’s what I’d say to RFK Jr. if I could.
What I’d Say to RFK Jr. as Someone With Autism
Human Beings Are More Than a ‘Resource’
Kennedy’s ableist remarks like, “Autism destroys our greatest resource, which is our children,” doesn’t just reflect ignorance. It echoes a deeper, troubling belief rooted in American capitalism: that our worth as individuals lies in what we can produce and what skills we can bring to the workforce.
But people are not resources to be used to make America great. Individuals with disabilities like autism do not have less value because we move through the world in a way that others look down on or don’t understand. Our humanity isn’t conditional. Our worth isn’t up for debate, and I resent the notion that somehow, I am seen as a more “palatable” autistic person because I pay taxes and live on my own.
“Individuals with disabilities like autism do not have less value because we move through the world in a way that others look down on or don’t understand.”
But the irony is also that there are many successful autistic people. I’m one of them. I have written poems that won scholarships, I traditionally published three books, one of which was given the distinction of a star review by Publisher’s Weekly—a highly respected international review database. I’ve given national interviews and Keynote speeches and sold thousands of books to help adoptive families. But at the end of the day, even if I couldn’t do all these things, I would still be of value.
Needing Extra Support Doesn’t Devalue a Person
When I was first pursuing an autism diagnosis for my son, I quickly learned how many people carry narrow, preconceived notions of autism—just like Kennedy does. Some responded with pity, while others downplayed his needs because my child can speak and attend school without an aide. But my son’s abilities don’t erase the challenges he faces—and it certainly doesn’t mean he’s any less deserving of understanding or support.
Needing support has never diminished a person’s value, beauty, or importance. And my worth isn’t somehow more important because I managed to mask my behaviors throughout childhood long enough that I went undiagnosed with autism until I was 30 years old.
Autism Doesn’t Ruin Families
Kennedy also went on to claim that “autism ruins families”—a statement that is not only untrue, but deeply harmful. Yes, families with autistic children may face unique challenges, but that doesn’t diminish the love, joy, and creativity people with autism bring into the world. The problem isn’t autism—it’s a society that struggles to recognize value when it doesn’t look like what people like RFK Jr. were taught to see as success.
“The problem isn’t autism—it’s a society that struggles to recognize value when it doesn’t look like what people like RFK Jr. were taught to see as success.”
Fear Fuels Dehumanization of People With Disabilities
When families are taught to fear autism as if it were a disease, autistic people are put at greater risk for abuse, neglect, and dehumanization—again, I’ve seen it first-hand. Due to fear, parents and grandparents often refuse to acknowledge the child’s developmental disability, despite teacher’s or doctors’ evaluation. This leads to situations where the autistic person is forced to either sink or swim and due to the stigma, autistic people tend to be infantilized by caregivers, resulting in delayed intervention. However, with support, autistic children are more likely to have healthier interventions, instead of relying on maladaptive behaviors like pain stimming or head banging.
The ‘Cure’ is Support
While RFK Jr. talks about “fixing” children with autism as if they’re broken, what actually helps autistic kids thrive isn’t some grand cure—it’s support, patience, and understanding.
My eldest son displayed some regressions in speech but due to the immediate support he received with an early diagnosis, he was able to get access to speech therapy in preschool HeadStart programs. Because of their care and attention, they identified difficulties with social skills with his peers that ultimately helped us get an autism diagnosis. One we celebrated.
“What actually helps autistic kids thrive isn’t some grand cure—it’s support, patience, and understanding.”
A younger relative of mine also has profound autism, and while she’s made tremendous progress thanks to professional support—along with the techniques I’ve shared with her mother—the delay in accessing those resources deeply impacted her quality of life. At age 4, she can speak only a handful of words.
While language delays are common in autistic children, earlier intervention could have eased her communication challenges and made daily life safer and more manageable. But due to the stigma that autism is something to fear or fix, families like hers often struggle to get timely support, too ashamed or overwhelmed to seek help in a system already stacked against them.
Additionally, directing resources to identify environmental toxins that RFK Jr. thinks cause autism could stall the ground-breaking progress that has been made possible because of the increased awareness and acceptance of autism. It could halt the grants, the research, the behavioral, speech, and occupational therapies that help those with autism.
Final Thoughts on RFK Jr.’s Autism Comments
Yes, Autism is a Spectrum
The truth is that autism is a spectrum, and that there are individuals with profound autism that will never be able to live on their own, like Kennedy mentioned during his press conference. Tasks like using the toilet, working a 40-hour job, and even communication struggles like selective mutism can make it necessary for extra support and accommodations. I also saw this first-hand when I worked with dozens of adults with autism and intellectual disabilities as a therapeutic staff support in a group home. However, children and adults with autism who have high support needs are just as valuable and important to our society as those of us with lower support needs.
An Autism Diagnosis Isn’t a Curse, It’s a Key
If I could leave RFK Jr. with one final thought, it’s this: Autism isn’t a tragedy—but being misunderstood and dehumanized by society is. When I was diagnosed with autism as an adult, it wasn’t the curse people like him make it out to be. It was simply an understanding—a key that opened doors to support, self-awareness, and growth. Suddenly, I could name the behaviors I’d spent my whole life struggling with—and more importantly, I could find the tools that helped me thrive.
“Autism isn’t a tragedy—but being misunderstood and dehumanized by society is.”
It allowed me to look back on my childhood with compassion, and to meet my autistic son where he is with empathy and creativity. I learned to support him when he needs it—and even more importantly, to let him do things his way when he doesn’t. He flaps his hands when he’s excited. He sings the same line of his favorite Christmas song on repeat throughout the entire year. And while that might not be considered “acceptable” to most of society, it brings him joy, comfort, and regulation—and that’s more than enough for me.
Autism isn’t the problem. The real problem is a culture that demands conformity over authenticity, and productivity over personhood. So no, RFK Jr., autism doesn’t destroy our children. But fear, stigma, and ignorance just might.
Melissa Guida-Richards, Contributing Writer
Melissa is an author, adoptee, and mom of two boys. She has authored two books, Bedtime, The Ultimate Battle and What White Parents Should Know About Transracial Adoption, and runs a podcast, Adoptee Thoughts, in her spare time.