A recent poll of hundreds of our readers highlighted exhaustion as the top reason moms aren’t having sex on any given night—by a long shot. And it’s not surprising. Who among us isn’t exhausted after caring for our kids all day—and often into the night? Middle-of-the-night feedings, toddler bedtime accidents, or bad dreams all require our attention when we’d rather be sleeping. Not to mention the additional mental load of tasks running through our minds as we try to get some rest.
Still, we’re human, and we crave connection. So, for those partnered parents, mustering up the energy to connect with our significant other has plenty of benefits. Finding moments to eat a meal together, have deeper conversations, or snuggle on the couch to watch a favorite show can all increase intimacy. And we also learned from our sex and motherhood poll that for moms, this emotional connection is paramount to sexual attraction. Yet, we’re still so tired. So, to help, we’ve rounded up nine sex positions for tired parents.
Of course, no person should feel pressured to have sex if they don’t want to (and for moms feeling any guilt about not wanting sex, read this article). For those interested in working through exhaustion to kindle that sexual connection with their partner, keep reading. You won’t find any complex acrobatics or tangled Kama Sutra poses on this list. Instead, we’re sharing sex positions perfect for tired parents—most of which you can do lying down.
1. Spooning
Spooning sex (whether for sex with a penis, a strap-on, or a finger) is the queen of lazy sex positions. With both partners lying down, you can enjoy relaxed and pleasurable movement. Plus, it’s also perfect for a morning (or middle-of-the-night) quickie.
2. Laying on Your Stomach
Stomach sleepers—this one’s for you since being on your stomach is your default relaxation position while your partner enters from behind. Adding a pillow under your mid-section or a sex toy for clitoral stimulation can make this position even more comfortable and pleasurable without a lot of extra work.
3. In the Bath
A warm bath can be the perfect way to wind down after a long day of parenting, and you don’t necessarily have to be Beyonce and Jay-Z in Drunk in Love to “Fill the tub up halfway” and “ride it with my surfboard” to enjoy some sexy tub action. One partner can sit with their back against the other, allowing for caresses and sexual touch, with or without penetration.
4. Missionary
Missionary might have a reputation as being boring, but we like to think of it as the OG sex position. Plus, you can make it as sensual or as spicy as you want it. Wrap your knees around their back like a pretzel, or have a missionary make-out session.
5. The Sideway Snuggle
Roll your Missionary position to the side for a sexy snuggle, allowing you a little more control of the movement, with both of your hands free to explore additional touch and stimulation.
6. The Netflix and Chill
Why not spend your after-bedtime couch time watching (or reading) something a little spicy? Don’t worry about getting to your bedroom— rather, take the opportunity to straddle your partner for some steamy seated sex.
7. Clasping Position
OK, this one comes straight from the Kama Sutra, but don’t confuse it with the Clasp standing sex position (who has the energy for that!?). Tired parents may love the Clasping position as you’re both essentially lying down. The female partner can start in a Cowgirl pose, then stretch their legs out straight, belly to belly, leg to leg, allowing for full body contact while grinding together. Penetration depth and motion is more controlled by the partner on top, depending how wide they open their legs. To make the angle a little easier on your hips, prop a pillow under the lower partner’s rear.
8. The Corkscrew
Again, any position where you’re lying down is great when you’re a tired mom. This position requires pretty minimal effect and puts most of the control on your partner. The key to this position is that your partner is standing beside or kneeling on the bed to enter you at a different angle.
9. Opening the Toy Box
When getting hot and heavy—and sweaty—just isn’t in the cards on a given night, consider mutual masturbation with some vibrators or sex toys as a way to easily (and quickly) create a sexual connection before it’s time for bed. Vibrator options abound for women, and male sex toys are as accessible as ever, with Target now selling options for partners with penises. Plus, many smart vibrators offer partner controls for a little experimental fun.
