"Did you know being pregnant takes the same amount of energy as endurance athletes? It’s been compared to the same metabolic demand as a Tour de France cyclist or an ultramarathoner. To clarify, the shortest distance an ultramarathoner runs is at least 31 miles. So, when you hear someone say being pregnant for 40 weeks is a marathon, it’s true. Women do most of the legwork. Yet, even after reaching the finish line of the pregnancy marathon, your baby can come out looking more like dad instead of you. All that hard work, and you don’t even get the credit. Or the question is, does your baby really look like your partner, or are people pushing that agenda on you? Apparently, in-laws are saying babies mostly look like their dads even when they don’t.
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A viral video by Amanda Hirsch (@notskinnybutnotfat) has sparked the conversation of whether or not in-laws are quick to claim that your baby looks like dad or his side of the family. The video has over 101k likes and over 7k comments, and it’s been forwarded over 65k times.
The Viral Video Sparking Conversation
With her newborn sleeping over her shoulder, Hirsch opens up the video with a question. She asks, “I just want to know if it’s like every dude’s parents, that once you have a baby with a dude… your in-laws basically want to force the fact that the baby looks like their son.” She then adds, “They start making collages on like day one when the baby is a newborn and doesn’t look like anything. They’re like, ‘Oh, my god. He looks like [dad’s name] when he was little.’” Does this sound familiar to you at all? After Hirsch pleads for (everyone’s) in-laws to stop forcing it, she states that she’s found a lot of people have actually lived her experience.
She then starts to rationalize why this may be a common occurrence. “I don’t know why? [Maybe], it’s like a lineage thing… Maybe they don’t feel as connected because the mom is the one that gives birth.”
Many in-laws do say babies look like their dad
After Hirsch posted the video, all the comments came pouring in:
“Mother in law: he has blue eyes from great aunt Betty!
Me: I have blue eyes 🙄”—@eringooch
“My MIL (Very white, blonde, blue eyes) told everyone my baby was tan when she was born because their family was Cherokee Indian. I am literally half black”.—@tallibaby
“My MIL with no dance experience after the first dance recital, ‘She’s so talented. She gets that from my side. I have great stage presence.’ I said, ‘So I guess my professional ballet career doesn’t factor in at all.’”—@prettypastiche
“Within the first 24 hours of my daughter being born I probably received 5 baby pictures of my husband”—@katiewheeler727
“My MIL does it with our adopted son 😂😂😂😂”—@bdavisremaxagent
“My MIL loves to say my kids features came from her side of the family, funny thing is my husband was adopted and shares no DNA with her whatsoever 😭”—@samanthasworldx
Why do in-laws say babies look like dad?
Why do in-laws compare babies to their side of the family in the first place? Like Hirsch reflected, maybe Dad’s side of the family wants some of the credit for how cute your little one is. In this case, a baby’s facial features are like carrying the family name (especially as women are keeping their maiden names nowadays).
Although it may seem silly, we kind of understand where grandparents may be coming from. @kindrea33 commented, “God forbid they want to be connected to their grandchildren 🙄 can we find better things to complain [about]?” Passing the torch of parenthood can mean grandparents are trying to find every ounce of DNA they’ve passed on to feel connected in some way.
On the other hand, for some moms, there’s no argument that the kids do indeed look like the in-laws. “All three of mine look like their paternal side, and the in laws love it; it’s like a group project, I did all the work and he got all the credit,” wrote @stephlandia.
Are we immune to this comparison?
It’s easy to say we, as parents, would never do this. As a mom of boys, I found myself making a mental note. In the case my boys decide to have a baby with their partner, I hope I won’t force this statement on my future daughter-in-law(s). Sorry, in advance. It does have me questioning myself, though. Will I do this as a grandparent?
Hirsch commented, “I want to promise I won’t do this but like will I do this? I kind of feel bad for us boy moms bc I see how we’re less part of the pregnancy/baby stuff bc it’s not our daughter that is going [through] it. And obviously the mom is like The mom and obviously the most important part of the family lol so the dads parents feel left out I get it! Fuck do I need to have a girl?”
@mollymolenhouse adds, “Can we women hold hands across the world and say we will do better when we are MILaws? 🙄😅😅😅”
There is something to this grandparent nostalgia. This might be how some in-laws react when becoming a grandparent. I wonder if we’ll continue to let in-laws say babies look like their dads to make them feel better or if we’ll ultimately stop this ‘tradition.’ Did this happen to you? How did you respond?
Patty Schepel, Editorial Intern
As the editorial intern, Patty works with The Everymom’s team on pitches, creating original articles, updating existing content, photo sourcing, writing shopping product descriptions, inputting freelance articles, and more. When she’s not working, you can find her spending time with her family, training for half marathons—she ran one 16 weeks pregnant—traveling, cooking, reading a rom-com, and keeping her sourdough starter, Rose, alive.