"In rewatching the iconic summer movie, The Sandlot, Scotty Smalls’ mom sits beside him and says, “I want you to get out in the fresh air… run around, scrape your knees, get dirty, climb trees, hop fences, get into trouble for crying out loud.” I realized it was the same speech I gave my own kids as we approached summertime. I’m worried about too much screen time amidst the patchwork of summer childcare my husband and I have stitched together. We both work full-time, and our kids are getting older. So we’ve been wondering if we just let them have an unstructured summer. Can they roam free like the boys in The Sandlot, the girls in Now & Then, or we did growing up in the ‘90s? Is a ‘90s summer even possible for kids today?
It turns out there’s a benefit in letting kids go a little bit feral in the summer. I consulted Hannah Keeley, Parenting Expert and Master Board-Certified Life Coach, via email about the benefits and how to give kids more unstructured freedom this summer. She shared research-backed tips for parents with kids of all ages, whether working or at home, and even tips for summer childcare providers. Here are Keeley’s tips on how to have a more unstructured summer with kids.
Hannah Keeley, Parenting Coach
Hannah is a Parenting Expert, Master Board-Certified Life Coach, and mom of seven with a background in behavioral therapy and neuroscience. Her work has been featured on The Morning Show, NBC News NOW, Fox & Friends, TODAY.com, Parents, and ScaryMommy. Hannah is also a best-selling author, a TEDx speaker, and an award-winning entrepreneur whose mom coaching company made the Inc. 5000 Fastest Growing Private Companies in America list in 2021.
Why an unstructured summer is good for kids
“Think backyard chaos, creativity from boredom, and building confidence with dirt and scraped knees,” says Keeley. Sounds a lot like Scotty Smalls’ mom’s advice. Here are Keeley’s research-backed reasons why ditching the schedule could be your best parenting decision of the summer.
Structure fatigue is real
During the school year, kids are often overscheduled with classes, sports, and extracurriculars, leaving little room for rest or creativity. Summer is the perfect time to hit pause. Letting go of the rigid routines gives kids space to decompress, breathe, and rediscover what makes them curious and excited. A less structured day gives their brains the chance to reset, which is actually crucial for emotional and mental development.
Boredom isn’t a problem—it’s a portal
We tend to see boredom as something to fix, but in reality, it’s a spark. When kids don’t have something immediately planned or handed to them, they’re forced to get resourceful. That’s when imagination comes alive—whether they start building with sticks, writing a story, or creating an elaborate role-play game with their siblings. Boredom isn’t a problem; it’s an invitation to invent.
Confidence comes from taking risks
When kids are allowed to take small risks, get dirty, or figure things out on their own, they grow in ways that structured activities just can’t offer. They learn how to troubleshoot, bounce back from mistakes, and trust themselves. Whether it’s climbing a tree, leading a backyard adventure, or running a lemonade stand, those moments of chaos actually build lifelong confidence and independence.
Unplugging means connecting in other ways
Digital devices are easy entertainment, but too much screen time dulls creativity and stunts communication. A “feral summer” is a chance to unplug and reconnect—with nature, with family, and with themselves. Kids who spend more time outdoors and less time online tend to sleep better, move more, and use their brains in more dynamic and imaginative ways.
Parents can free themselves of guilt
Letting your kids go a little wild doesn’t mean you’re neglecting them—it means you’re giving everyone room to breathe. When you stop trying to micromanage every minute of the day, you free up time and energy to actually enjoy your summer, too. It’s less about doing more and more about being present for the real, messy, joy-filled moments that actually matter.
How to have an unstructured summer when you work full-time
“Moms always feel like they’re not doing enough,” said Keeley, “which can lead to a need to structure our children’s lives.” On one hand, I agree with her. I want my kids to have the opportunity to explore their interests in sports, art, or whatever else they choose, and sometimes that can lead to over-scheduling. But on the other hand, I need my kids to be occupied without my supervision during work hours. So a structured summer feels like a requirement for working parents, even when we aspire to give kids an unstructured summer.
“Going feral isn’t about throwing structure out the window,” says Keeley. “It’s about breaking free from the pressure to schedule every second of your child’s life. If you’re working full-time, you can still build in space for unstructured magic.” Here’s how:
Keep weekends unplanned
Keep your weekends loose and unplanned. Let the kids get dirty, build forts, ride bikes until the streetlights come on. The whole family needs time to decompress, so try to make plans for no plans on the weekends when you can.
Consider the one sport rule
Keep it simple for your family and only commit to one sport or activity per kid. That’s it. Let the rest of their time be for open-ended play.
Schedule summer programs with intention
Choose programs or caregivers who aren’t defined by rigid schedules but encourage creativity, exploration, and outdoor play.
Give caregivers freedom, too
“Your babysitter doesn’t have to be the cruise director of the S.S. Summer Fun,” says Keeley. “They just need to be the gatekeeper of safe adventure.” Her tips for sitters could work for parents, too:
- Let them be bored. Boredom is a gift. It pushes kids to get creative and problem-solve.
- Say yes to kids more than no. Yes to muddy puddles. Yes to building a hideout out of sticks. Yes to inventing new games.
- Loose plan, big freedom. Set up a rhythm (outdoor time, snack time, quiet time), but don’t micro-manage every minute.
“Empower your caregiver to be the spark, not the schedule,” she says. “That’s where the magic happens.”
Include them in everyday tasks
Summer activities don’t only have to mean child-centered activities. “Include them in your everyday life,” says Keeley. “such as letting them help you do the laundry or plant veggies in the (backyard or windowsill) garden.”
Say yes to spontaneous moments of magic
Not everything in summer has to be extra magical. In the first The Everymom Group Chat, four moms on The Everymom team chatted about all things summer planning with kids, and one big takeaway was that our kids’ childhood is different than our own, and that’s OK. Noticing the small summer moments, like a walk to the beach before the workday starts, chasing down the ice cream truck after dinner, or staying up late one night to watch the fireflies, can all be small, spontaneous moments of summer magic.
Plan a summer reset
“A long weekend getaway (even a backyard camping night!) can work wonders,” she says. “It’s not about a fancy trip—it’s about pressing pause and reconnecting.”
How to have an unstructured summer when you have toddlers
My kids are older now, but I remember managing summer days with toddlers. “Toddlers are the original feral creatures,” says Keeley. “Sticky fingers, dirt-covered cheeks, pants optional. The trick isn’t giving them freedom; it’s channeling it.” She says that an unstructured summer with toddlers “looks like safe exploration with loose boundaries and lots of grace.” Here are some additional tips for having an unstructured summer with toddlers:
Water play is heaven
Supervised water play with buckets, sprinklers, a water table, a paintbrush, a bowl of soapy water, and measuring cups, and they’ll be entertained for a while.
Let them lead
Instead of “Here’s what we’re doing today,” Keeley suggests asking, “What do YOU want to do outside?”
Create a ‘yes’ space
Inside or outside, set up a safe zone where they can go wild without constant correction. Unstructured play with toddlers means freedom within safe limits.
Expect messes
Try to embrace the chaos. You can hose off a toddler, whether they’re covered in mud, popsicle residue, or who knows what else. “Being feral with toddlers means leaning into curiosity over control, presence over perfection, and mud pies over milestones. You’re raising a free spirit. So throw down the beach towel, grab a juice box, and let your tiny explorer lead the way,” says Keeley. (If mess adds to your stress, try a summer tidying routine like a closing shift.)
So, will I be able to execute the unstructured ‘90s summer for my kids? Talk to me in September. But until then, hopefully I’ll be catching some of those spontaneous magic moments in between hosing off some sticky summer popsicles.
Kathy Sisson, Senior Editor
Kathy Sisson has been a key contributor in the editorial parenting space for eight years, not only as a full-time editor at The Everymom but previously as a freelance writer for top parenting sites, including Scary Mommy, Motherly, Parent Co., and more. As an editor at The Everymom, she has produced hundreds of articles on a range of parenting topics, reviewed dozens of family-focused products, interviewed leading experts in the children and parenting world, and created viral parenting social media content. A mom of two, she is committed to sharing the honest, helpful, and often humorous stories of motherhood.
Headshot of Hannah Keeley by Desiray Osier of Nowell Photo