One of my least-proud parenting moments happened when my 9-year-old daughter opened up to me before bedtime. “I think I need a break from YouTube,” she said. “It’s making me feel like I need more things when I already know I have enough.” Gulp. Why hadn’t I realized sooner the effect her media consumption was having on her wants and well-being? Why had she been the one to cut herself off from YouTube?
Looking back, I realize I’m partly to blame for the overconsumption that started to take over my kids. Ever since my girls were young, I often bought them a little treat when we went shopping. A new book, a cute twirling skirt, a holiday-themed pillow for their room—it seemed harmless until it became an expectation on every outing. Even picking up prescriptions at CVS meant my kids would be asking for Ty stuffed animals or press-on nails.
I also work from home, so the time spent between the end of the school day and the end of my work day usually means screentime downtime for my kids. I wasn’t necessarily watching what they were watching, so I missed the amount of overconsumption core on their screens.
It started with YouTube, which led to Stanley water bottles, Labubus, and Sephora-tween culture. I realized too late that overconsumption was affecting my kids—and I’d need to make a change to refocus our priorities. Here’s what I wish I had done differently—and what I’m doing now—when it comes to overconsumption and my kids.
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What is “overconsumption core”?
Consumerism affects all of us. We know we’re constantly being sold things we “need” and the term “overconsumption core” was coined on social media. It describes having and buying an excessive amount of things, especially those deemed to be cool or trendy—think TikTok haul videos. And our brains are wired for the quick hits of dopamine from buying and belonging.
“Underconsumption core” is also making the rounds on social media as an anecdote to overconsumption, but some argue it’s just another form of consumerism (i.e., still buying one Stanley Cup versus having a collection of them).
How overconsumption started for us
In addition to the “little treat culture” I created with my kids, they also started watching YouTube videos from creators I approved. My daughter’s favorite follows were gymnasts because gymnastics is her favorite sport. I naively thought it was mostly about learning tricks and getting inspired. But I later realized even YouTube Kids and tween accounts are hardcore influencers.
Social media influencers and overconsumption core
One of her favorites, Salish Matter, is a teen influencer with 3 million followers who recently launched a skincare line sold at Sephora (that quickly sold out, BTW). I applaud a woman-owned business, but after overhearing some of her content, I realized how much she was influencing my daughter’s behavior and creating an endless cycle of her wanting new things. Friends who also wanted (and got) those things further exacerbated the cycle—hello, peer pressure.
“I realized how much she was influencing my daughter’s behavior and creating an endless cycle of her wanting new things.”
For example, my daughter decided she wanted to create a morning routine for herself (Salish has filmed many routines.) She then told me she wanted to redo her room (Salish seems to get a room makeover every few months). We started going to Sephora and the mall more often—and my kid expected to come home with multiple shopping bags (Salish has countless videos with mall challenges and hauls).
At first, I did buy her more clothes than I probably normally would have—the ritual of mother-daughter shopping was fun for both of us. But then a season changed, and I realized the clothes she “had to have” in the moment stayed in her closet with the tags still on. We were buying way more than we ever needed.
Influencers are seen as role models to Gen Alpha
Of course, she’s not the only kid who is affected by influencers—or who looks up to them. A 2024 study by the social commerce platform Whop, reported by Fortune, found that over half of the tweens/teens they surveyed (ages 12-15) had career aspirations of being a YouTuber or TikTok creator—jobs that didn’t exist when we were kids. It makes sense that the media they consume influences not only their buying behavior but their career dreams as well.
How I’m pulling back on overconsumption for my kids
We needed to make some changes, set realistic expectations, and adjust the excessive consumption path we were on. Here’s where I started:
Earning money and giving allowances
Growing up, my parents gave me a few dollars a week to do various chores, namely babysitting my younger siblings. For my daughters, they earn $5 per week for feeding/walking the dog, loading/emptying the dishwasher, and doing their laundry. This money goes into a kid-friendly bank account weekly, attached to a debit card. They can earn more by doing additional tasks.
So when they ask me for something while we’re shopping, I’m able to say, “Sure, if you spend your own money on it,” which usually leads to more thoughtful purchases.
Experimenting with thrifting
I should say not all of the tween influencer content is bad—thrifting hauls have made secondhand stores cool again. Recently, we spent a Saturday going to thrift shops around town, and my daughter ended up with some new tops—from brands she loves like Zara—for a few bucks each.
Asking probing questions
Marketing messages are everywhere, but kids need to be coached on how to recognize when they’re being targeted in a way that’s not typical of a commercial. To start, I began asking my kids questions like:
- How do you think they afford those trips to the mall?
- How can you tell whether they really like something or are getting paid to tell you they like something?
- How is [insert new must-have product] different from [existing product you have]?
When it came to Sephora tween beauty skincare, we also did research together to learn more about what products would be safe for her young skin, versus buying the latest trending item.
Modeling restraint and gratitude
Now, when we go shopping, we talk about the purpose of the trip ahead of time to set expectations. For example, my 9-year-old and I recently went to Target to buy a birthday gift for her friend. We still browsed, but it was easier to reinforce the outing’s purpose and put my daughter in the giving role, rather than the receiving. “We’re here for your friend’s birthday gift. What do you think would make her excited?”
I also have to catch myself mindlessly throwing cute items into the cart—and Target is a tough store to show restraint. But I’ve been trying to talk through my own purchases out loud, like, “This is cute, but it’s pretty similar to the sweatshirt I already have. I don’t need it.”
Getting occasional little treats and keeping big purchases for occasions
Then again, part of girlhood is the act of going shopping without a specific purpose in mind. It can be fun to try on clothes or browse the mall, and occasionally, a little treat ends up in our cart. But gone are the days of overspending on shopping hauls or quick online Amazon purchases.
Big moments, like back-to-school shopping, had a budget (we gave each of our kids $100 cash to spend on whatever they wanted). Watching the mental math calculations and priority shifts while they shopped was a truly positive experience for all of us, and I felt like we had really made some progress.
Cutting off YouTube and going back to watching scripted shows
A YouTube detox was something I should’ve done much earlier. After my daughter’s bedtime confession, we made a plan together to delete the YouTube app from our TV and go back to watching shows she used to love on Disney+ and Netflix, like Jessie, The Thundermans, and Bunk’d. Even Jonathan Haidt of The Anxious Generation fame touts storytelling shows and movies as “good screentime.” The effect was almost immediate. Not surprisingly, taking a break from the infinite scroll was good for her mental health, too.
We also watch more together. In fact, we recently binged both seasons of Wednesday on Netflix, which might seem like another parenting misstep. But I can tell you the show never kept her up at night like those YouTube hauls did.
Kathy Sisson, Senior Editor
Kathy Sisson has been a key contributor in the editorial parenting space for eight years, not only as a full-time editor at The Everymom but previously as a freelance writer for top parenting sites, including Scary Mommy, Motherly, Parent Co., and more. As an editor at The Everymom, she has produced hundreds of articles on a range of parenting topics, reviewed dozens of family-focused products, interviewed leading experts in the children and parenting world, and created viral parenting social media content. A mom of two, she is committed to sharing the honest, helpful, and often humorous stories of motherhood.
