The Very Best Advice for New Moms From Those Who’ve Been There

New motherhood is truly an emotional and physical rollercoaster – often one that no amount of really honest mom friends could ever prepare you for. Because everyone’s journey is so unique, the multitude of advice you receive may or may not work for your specific situation.

What’s important to remember is that fact exactly – everything cannot work for everyone. You will cry, you will obsess, you will worry, you will get advice, you will try the advice, you will curse the advice when it doesn’t work – and then, you’ll cry again, pick yourself up, and try again.

What helps us in the throes of new motherhood is knowing we are never alone. There are many, many mothers right alongside us living the same cocktail of sleep deprivation, confusion, and unadulterated love.

We are here to pick you back up every step of the way. Read on for 35 pieces of advice for new moms from our mom tribe on Instagram.

 

Source: @lauraadom_

 

Your emotions may ride the rollercoaster a lot longer than you think is ‘normal.’ That’s okay. Nothing is wrong with you — you’re doing a great job. 💕—@lauraadom_

Forget all the rules about everything and just do what’s best for your child. —@carrie_berghoff

It’s OK to mourn your old life. —@mrs_kpierce

DAWN DISH SOAP REMOVES BABY 💩STAINS!!!! —@nicole_sloup

Taking care of yourself gets more difficult. Give a few minutes to yourself each morning to feel a little more put together. I’d always go to the bathroom, wash my face, spray on dry shampoo, and put on clean clothes. Even if the baby cries for those few minutes, you will have a much better day and be way more comfortable taking care of your baby the other 23 hours and 57 minutes.☺️Happy mama, happy baby. 💕—@hollyverkamp

There’s a whole tribe of us out here who hated both pregnancy and the newborn stage. Don’t be afraid to be honest with the people around you — it’s OK to say you don’t like this part of motherhood out loud. That doesn’t mean you don’t love your baby. The sleep deprivation in the first six weeks is a bitch and will test every ounce of sanity in you. Your only job is to survive, so forget the rest of the unrealistic expectations and take care of yourself and your baby. By this time next year, you will feel much more settled in your new role as a mother. Moms are notoriously poor at boundaries (we don’t even pee alone) 😂 and we’ve ALL been there, so reach out to another mom (even on Instagram!) if you’re struggling and feel alone — the mom tribe is so so real. 💕 —@jessiebbernhardt

Amongst all the joy there will be laundry. So much laundry. —@sdsiongco

Truly everything is a phase. What you may be worried about/obsessing over at the moment will be all but forgotten in a short time. And then you’ll be worried about/obsessing over something else. 😊—@lauren_e_dolan

Forget everyone’s expectations, EVEN YOUR OWN. Do what makes you and the little person healthiest/happiest, even if you swore to yourself that you wouldn’t be ‘that mom.’ —@lllierin

If you want to breastfeed, it’s a 24/7 job for the first many weeks. It’s totally do-able, but it’s hard and rewarding and so hard all at once. —@vincentjamesdesigns

It’s OK to choose not to breastfeed. —@sinthear

Set realistic expectations and then take those expectations down even a few more notches. You have never been a parent before. Be patient with yourself. You’ll figure things out little by little. —@restdressco

No one told me how painful breastfeeding would be for the first couple of weeks. I remember sobbing as my husband handed our son to me to nurse him because I knew how much that first 30-60 seconds after he latched on would hurt. I wore soothing gel pads nonstop; those things are pure magic. But one day a couple of weeks later, he latched on, and the pain was gone. And that was my first lesson in how even the hardest stuff about being a new mom doesn’t last forever. —@_katiebakes

It’s OK to ask for help. You can’t do it all. It takes a village. —@kayesdailys

That every single one of us is having a hard time, you are not alone. —@thriftymamablog

It’s ok to not like the newborn phase. —@mschristie11

 

Source: @nicholaknox via #sharetheeverymom

 

Speak to a lactation consultant while pregnant and get all the support you can in the first few weeks with feeding. Don’t allow visitors! Stay in bed and recover. —@natashadinneen

I wish I’d known how much physical healing my body had to go through after birth. That was so hard. —@kyliethompsonphotography

The emotions are overwhelming… love, guilt, anxiety, pride, joy, worry… all the feels, all the time. —@allisonredmon

The people who openly brag about their children’s milestones on social media or real-life are lying. —@kbmcelv

There is way too much information out there on how to do this and that with your babies. Try not to get caught up in it all. Go back to the basics, and trust your momma gut! —@hgrittner

Give yourself some grace! 💗—@jillnweller

You’re going to be anxious. Definitely about some things, possibly about a lot of things, and hopefully not about too many things. It’s normal, natural, and common, but it’s not talked about enough. Anxiety (to the point of it being a problem and something which you should seek support for) also manifests itself in many physical ways, such as irritability or dizziness. Asking for help isn’t a sign of weakness but a declaration of strength. —@luella.and.rose

You will feel lonely — even when you are constantly attached to a baby (or have visitors, a supportive partner, helpful friends, involved family). There will be moments when you feel disconnected and misunderstood. It’s OK. And it’s OK to just feel it so it can pass. New motherhood is not easy and not always just pure joy, but you will do your best, and that is enough. —@bemagicnow

You might not feel bonded to your baby immediately. Even if you planned and hoped for your baby so badly. Baby blues is real and intense. —@rdkofahl

Your first 💩post-delivery will hurt. Bad. —@christinaclong

It’s OK to take the night off and hand your spouse/partner the baby. They both will survive without you, and you’ll get very much needed alone time. Even if you go to dinner or get a hotel room for the night. Whatever it is, take care of yourself. Talk to a therapist and get your mental health checked out. Because it’s a lot of sudden change and no mother is prepared for it. —@jackielamas

It’s OK to let the baby cry safely in their crib if you need a minute to gather your sanity and take a breath. —@krhooser

 

Source: @the.mortlands via #sharetheeverymom

 

Do not let anyone stay at your home the first week home. Pay for their hotel/Airbnb if they are out-of-towners. You, your partner, and your newborn need that time to adjust to your new normal, and you need to be able to have your boobs out and deal with postpartum recovery without catering to others in your space. Set the boundary for yourself. You’re going to have enough stress the first few weeks, so set yourself up for success. —@lindseystamps

You’re not magically going to know what to do, and that’s OK. Don’t be afraid to ask for help, ask a thousand questions to people who’ve done this before, call your pediatrician when you feel like you need to, and google as needed. There’s no such thing as a perfect mom and trying to be that will rob you of enjoying the sweetest, shortest time of your life. Also, you got this. —@brujies

In-laws AKA grandparents are annoying the first 4-5 years, then they start to chill out. 👍🏽—@aries90_

That sleep deprivation is a monster and far more difficult to deal with than what I expected. —@kjt_203

You will find yourself again and will emerge better than you ever were before. —@mamasknow_best

It is lonely. BUT it is also the loveliest. Whether you have a tribe or a village or a family or not, it is lonely, and it is lovely. —@amiemcnaylor

 

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