"While meant as a day to celebrate moms, Mother’s Day can often create more stress and conflict than anything. Whether due to lack of planning, a partner who isn’t great at giving gifts, or even long-distance relationships, sometimes Mother’s Day isn’t that great.
But one day, while commiserating on how our Mother’s Day plans or gifts weren’t quite what we envisioned, my mom friends and I devised a plan—Un-Mother’s Day. Like a Galentine’s Day/Valentine’s Day version of Mother’s Day, we planned one day, either right before or right after Mother’s Day, and made indulgent plans just for us, guilt-free.
This takes the pressure off our partners, allows us to spend time with our kids on Mother’s Day, and saves us money since spa days or weekend getaways are more expensive on holiday weekends. Here’s more about why we do it as well as some ideas for celebrating Mother’s Day with friends—because the last thing moms need is another thing added to our to-do lists.
It takes the pressure off Mother’s Day
My husband is great. He’s an involved father, committed to our family, and a great example for our boys. But gift-giving just isn’t his love language. Usually, I’ll send live links directly to his email when my birthday, Christmas, or Mother’s Day rolls around. But picking out your gift really takes the fun out of being spoiled.
That’s why I told him to stop getting me gifts a few years ago and just planned my own Mother’s Day instead. It may seem counterproductive, or even letting him off easy, but planning my day took the stress out of a day that should be celebratory.
I can spend Mother’s Day with my kids
I know moms who want to spend every second of Mother’s Day with their kids and other moms who want the entire day off, alone, and without kids. Neither one is right or wrong, and it all depends on how a mom wants to be celebrated. I love the messy breakfast in bed, the hand-painted mugs and crafts, and the celebratory air of spending Mother’s Day with my family.
But I also want a relaxing spa day without kids. Planning Un-Mother’s Day takes that pressure away. I can spend Mother’s Day with my kids, then have my day at a different time, relaxing alone or celebrating with my friends. Win-win.
It allows us to not act like moms for a day
There’s a reason for the moniker. Being a mom is hands down the best job I’ve ever had. But it’s also the hardest. That’s why, for just one day, I want to pretend like I’m not a mom. I want to be pampered, spend an irresponsible amount of money on a massage or facial, and have a few drinks with lunch.
This Un-Mother’s Day, we also set a few ground rules with our partners. Namely, no calling or texting us with updates or questions. They will figure it out, and the kids will be fine for a day. Truly unplugging for a day has so many benefits—it leaves me refreshed, gives me the space and perspective I need to appreciate my kids and family, and allows me to remember who I was, pre-kids. Another bonus? It makes me a better mom.
It’s cheaper and easier to plan
Have you ever tried to book a spa day for Mother’s Day weekend? Not only do you have to book months in advance, it’s also incredibly expensive. This goes for other mom-centric celebrations, as well. According to the National Retail Federation, consumers planned to spend more than $274 on mom in 2023, a record high.
I’ll never forget the time I booked brunch for my entire family at the fancy country club down the street—I didn’t realize the cost was over $100 per person, and we ended up paying an exorbitant amount for my 2 and 4-year-old to eat half a donut and some scrambled eggs. This year, I booked a spa day for myself and my four friends during the week, a month after Mother’s Day. It was cheaper, way easier to book, and stress-free.
Ideas for celebrating Mother’s Day with friends
While I prefer a trip to my favorite spa to unwind, there are many other options to plan your own Un-Mother’s Day celebration.
- A night away at a local boutique hotel or Airbnb
- Wine tasting at a local winery
- Get outside for a hike
- Spend the day at the beach
- Hit your favorite outdoor mall for brunch and a day of shopping
- Send your family out for the day and enjoy a blissfully quiet house
- See a concert or show
- Go to your favorite workout class, then indulge in a healthy brunch
- Catch a matinee movie alone
- Take a class or workshop
Let’s be honest: There are so many things we worry about as moms. Mother’s Day shouldn’t be one of them.