"When I was 23, I found out I was pregnant. Though married, it was very much unplanned, and it led to an emotional upheaval unlike anything else I’ve ever experienced. At the time, I had recently been diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder and was well-informed about postpartum depression (PPD) but had no idea what the next nine months would offer as I sunk into depression during my pregnancy.
Because your registry isn’t just a checklist, we’re here to help you choose what’s best for you. From moms and experts who have been through it all, these are our winners for The Everymom’s 2025 Baby Registry Awards.
My physical pregnancy symptoms were subtle at their worst—some acid reflux here, a little exhaustion there. The mental part, though? I can only liken it to being caught in a riptide in the middle of the ocean during a hurricane. I knew pregnancy hormones were part of the culprit, but I imagined some irrational tears over cravings or comically long naps. Not the all-encompassing prenatal depression that beat me down daily during my pregnancy.
Editor’s Note: Postpartum anxiety and depression can feel isolating, but you shouldn’t have to feel as though you’re going through it alone. Please reach out to your doctor, a therapist, or another trusted professional for support.
If you are experiencing suicidal thoughts or actions, please get help immediately.
National Suicide Prevention Hotline: Call or text 988.
What it Felt Like Having Depression During My Pregnancy
Depression while pregnant is a spectrum, just like any other form of depression. The National Institute of Mental Health defines perinatal depression as “a mood disorder that occurs during pregnancy and after childbirth,” creating “extreme sadness, anxiety, and fatigue that may make it difficult to carry out daily tasks.” Though the definition is technically true to my experience, it feels too academic to really explain what happened. Here’s what it felt like to have depression during pregnancy.
Existing in Survival Mode
Refusing treatment (it felt too difficult to start), I existed only in survival mode for seven months of my pregnancy. After treading water at work five days a week, nights and weekends felt like my reprieve. It was then that I let myself sink as deep as I wanted—really, needed. If I ran out of hair ties, I wouldn’t leave the house to buy more. Instead, I would delay purchasing more off of Amazon for weeks before mustering up the strength to click a few buttons. Texts from friends went largely unanswered because even thinking of what letters to type exhausted the little mental capacity I had.
Suffering Despite Having Support
Later, my (now) ex-husband admitted to me that sometimes he dreaded coming home from work, knowing what a mess I would be. I only felt safe with him and my mom, making my prenatal depression a burden on all of us. Because my ex worked nights, my mom was on call during the week for every little problem, while he was little more than a punching bag on the weekends. I wish I could tell you that their support made my own experience any less heavy, but honestly, I couldn’t even remember what a lighter load felt like.
Not Connecting With My Unborn Baby
Even with the benefit of hindsight, I’m not sure what else either of them could have done to help. You can’t make someone go to therapy, take anti-depressants, or get out of bed. I had to want to be better for myself, and I simply didn’t care enough to. I’ve heard of other pregnant people being motivated by their unborn children to do different things, but my daughter was such an abstract concept to me. Though I was anxious about labor, I didn’t truly believe I was having a baby until she was already in my arms.
What Happened After My Baby Was Born
Once my daughter was born, I felt the depression lift just as suddenly as it weighed me down. It was legitimately instantaneous—I had energy in a way I never thought I would again. Just a couple hours after giving birth, I was chit-chatting while roaming the halls. The day after we got back from the hospital, I volunteered (for the first time ever) to go grocery shopping. During the following 12 weeks of maternity leave, I got fully dressed and cleaned my home daily.
I’m well aware that I didn’t have a typical postpartum experience. I think this was due to a combination of things: my age, not breastfeeding, an easy birth, pure luck, and—of course—no longer being crushed by prenatal depression. It did take me a couple of months to truly connect with my baby in the same way her dad did, but I just felt grateful to be out of the riptide of my depression and was confident the connection would happen in time.
What I’d Say to My Pregnant Self Now
I wish I could go back in time and give my pregnant self a hug, crying with her over how unavoidable and hopeless the pain felt. While rubbing her feet, I’d slip her the email of our therapist and offer to accompany her to an appointment. I’d tell her all about the future—encouraging her with confirmation of a finish line, bragging about our beautiful girl, and reassuring her that we’ve never been as alone as we feared.
“I wish I could go back in time and give my pregnant self a hug… I’d tell her all about the future—encouraging her with confirmation of a finish line, bragging about our beautiful girl, and reassuring her that we’ve never been as alone as we feared.”
Nowadays, I go to therapy more regularly and always have a scheduled session to look forward to. I’ve also worked with a psychiatrist to figure out the perfect blend of medications to help me manage my anxiety. I aim to do one thing every day just for myself, which, in addition to having hobbies and deep friendships, helps me maintain my identity outside of motherhood. Though certainly imperfect, I think daily about how lucky I am to feel like—and be—an active participant in my life again.
Preparing for Future Pregnancies After Having Prenatal Depression
My prenatal depression was traumatic enough that I often wonder if I’ll ever feel mentally ready for a second pregnancy. Part of me would feel so grateful to experience a level of redemption, while the other part would be concerned about history repeating itself. Assuming it was planned, I’d have in-depth discussions with my therapist, psychiatrist, and OB-GYN prior to trying to conceive. Having levers to pull—more appointments, additional childcare, set routines—would make me feel more prepared so that hopefully I’d be able to enjoy the pregnancy instead of being scared of it.
For now, I try to be intentional about sharing my experience with others. My daughter is almost 6 years old now, and yet prenatal depression is still barely discussed. Knowledge is power, and I hope that if people are informed about how common and dangerous depression during pregnancy is, they’ll be more prepared to seek help for themselves and others.
Quincy Bulin, Contributing Writer
Quincy is a mom and freelance writer balancing her time between journalism, marketing, and ghostwriting. In addition to The Everymom, she’s written for publications such as The Everygirl, Better Homes & Gardens, Southern Living, Apartment Therapy, and Parents.