The decision to have a third child was one my husband and I discussed at length and with—as you can imagine—great consideration. But, despite our initial hesitancy and the weight we put into our decision, it was one we ultimately landed on pretty quickly. We wanted a third baby. In this, we were aligned.
In naming her, however, we were not. As parents to a boy and girl, we had already used our agreed-upon “first pick” names for both genders. When we learned our third child was a girl, we realized we didn’t have a strong runner-up sitting in our back pocket. Naming our first daughter entailed deciding between two very similar names: Elsa and Isla. After choosing Elsa, Isla was off the table.
When prepping for the arrival of our second daughter, we started running through our list of baby name must-haves. We wanted a name that was traditional yet unique, didn’t come with pre-associated nicknames, and that sounded good with our surname (perhaps you can understand why it took us so long to decide). Every name I threw out as a suggestion, my husband didn’t like, and vice versa. There were many we were ambivalent about, but none that truly spoke to us.
And then, finally, I threw out a suggestion that stuck: Ingrid.
I Knew We Were Picking an Unpopular Baby Name
I knew when we chose the name Ingrid, it would be met with both adoration and subtle disapproval. It’s not popular or traditionally feminine. Scan almost any baby names list and you won’t see my daughter’s name on it (and I keep my fingers crossed that it remains so for the foreseeable future).
Today, when people see baby Ingrid passing by in her stroller and inevitably inquire about her age and name, there are two distinct reactions. The first is sheer delight (“I absolutely love that name! You never hear that name. Like Ingrid Bergman!” etc.). The second is a weak smile and a “That’s nice.” Or, sometimes, no comment at all.
Here’s why this doesn’t bother me.
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Picking a Rare Baby Name Has Its Advantages
I was born in 1993 and given the name “Emilee.” While I give my parents kudos for the unique spelling, I know firsthand what it’s like to go through life sharing a name with numerous peers throughout grade school, college, and even when entering the workforce. Here’s why I wanted to give my kids “unpopular” names.
She’s One of a Kind
Picking a name that doesn’t necessarily appeal to the masses, per se, grants a sense of individuality. While sharing a name with your friends and co-workers isn’t the end of the world, I’ve also found the experience to be lackluster. Maybe it’s because I have a common name myself, but I wanted my kids to feel a sense of rugged individualism whenever they have the chance to share their names, whether it be on their first day of school or when starting a new job.
“Maybe it’s because I have a common name myself, but I wanted my kids to feel a sense of rugged individualism whenever they have the chance to share their names.”
A unique name makes a statement and grants a subconscious sense of independence. A unique name is also memorable. As a parent (and a person, in general), I place a great deal of stock in the importance of leadership and autonomy. While something as subtle as a given name may or may not influence this directly (I’m no social scientist, after all), I like to think that giving my children unique names will set them up to be confident leaders and independent thinkers.
It’s Less About the Name and More About the Meaning Behind It
I hope all of my children love their names. And if they don’t like their name at any point in their lifetimes, I hope they can at least love and appreciate the reasons why they were given. They were named to honor their heritage, with a great amount of care put into each first and middle moniker. I hope they see their names as a symbol of love.
When skimming through baby names, I loved that “Ingrid” translated to “beautiful” and “beloved.” It was a meaning that wasn’t overly complicated and that I knew would be abundantly true—I’m proud to say none of my children lack love! My husband and I also both appreciated its nod to his German heritage. You have to admit, “Ingrid Janitz” has a pleasant ring to it.
I hope as Ingrid continues learning to talk, eventually learns to write, and shares her name as she makes friends, she feels an immense pride in her name, knowing that it’s a nod to her history and one that was chosen with utmost intention by her parents.
Only You and Your Family Will Spend a Lifetime With That Name
We didn’t want to give our daughter a modern, popular baby name. That’s just not our style! We wanted a name that felt strong, intentional, and full of class. It’s true: Not every stranger I meet at the local library or park is the biggest fan of my daughter’s name. But then again, they don’t have to be! I adore my daughter’s name. And I hope that she always will too.
Many people pass in and out of life experiences, but only our children and family members live with our chosen names for an extended period of time.
Truthfully, Not Every Person Will Love Every Name
I’ll admit there have been times I’ve heard baby names that I do not personally love. I’m willing to bet we’ve all experienced this before. It’s unrealistic (and let’s admit, a little silly) to hope or assume everyone will love the names we choose for our children. People may not love my daughter’s name, but that’s just a symptom of the human experience. We’re all different and have different preferences.
Your Opinion is the Only One That Truly Matters
As a parent, your opinion is the only one that truly matters. I wouldn’t have picked the same baby names that my mother did, or those chosen by my best friends. While it might feel hurtful in the moment, when someone speaks ill or shows distaste for a chosen name, remember that any negative reaction is more a reflection of that person and less a reflection of your taste in names.
Have the Bravery to Pursue the Names You Love Most
Life is full of adversity and differing opinions. Whether you’re currently expecting and are scared to share your chosen name with family, or have had your child’s name met with reactions that were less than enthusiastic, grant yourself the courage to follow your own intuition and the freedom that is releasing others’ opinions.
In the arts, a created piece—whether it be a painting, dance, or musical composition—is often measured by its ability to evoke emotion. For better or worse, I believe the same can be said about names. My daughter’s name demands an emotional response because it is unique, beautiful, and strong. Just like her.
Emilee Janitz, Contributing Writer
Emilee is a communications strategist and lifestyle journalist with an M.S. in Public Relations from the S.I. Newhouse School of Public Communications at Syracuse University. She currently works on the content team at Enterprise SEO company Terakeet where she creates and executes reputation management strategies for Fortune 500 companies and their executives. She is a Contributing Fashion Writer for The Everygirl and has additionally been published on POPSUGAR, Motherly, MSN, and Yahoo.
