Bedtime with two kids can be a bit of a process. But dare I say, weāve got it down to a scienceāor as close as you can get with two kids under 6. I’ve always been a bit of a stickler about sleep. When my kids were babies, I even hired a pediatric sleep consultant to help get us on track early. I learned quickly that I donāt function well on less than five hours of shut-eye (if you do, I’m insanely jealous), so prioritizing healthy sleep habits from the beginning wasnāt just for their benefitāit was for mine, too. Well-rested kids are happier, more regulated, and better equipped to make it through the day with fewer meltdowns. And well-rested moms? Weāre simply operating on a different level.
Now that my kids are 3 and 5, bedtime is a well-oiled machine. By 7:15 p.m., both kids are tucked in and asleep, and they usually stay that way until around 6:00 or 6:30 a.m. The early bedtime has been a total game-changer for our entire family. My husband and I actually get a window to unwind, have adult conversations, catch up on our shows, or tackle the laundry mountain in peace. This rhythm works well for us, but, of course, every familyās schedule will look different. The key is finding what works for you and being as consistent as possible. Here are the four things we do to help make sure bedtime goes smoothly:
Fill up their bellies with a bedtime snack
To keep it so real, my kidsā dinner plates still have food on them at the end of every meal, even when itās mac and cheese or another fan favorite. So after bath time and pajamas, we always head back downstairs for a small bedtime snack. It might be a bowl of cereal, toast with a little butter, crackers with cheese, or our favorite, what we like to call a ābabychino.” It’s a warm, frothed dairy milk with a sprinkle of cinnamon and a drizzle of honey. The one thing all these snacks have in common? We always include milk.
Incorporating dairy milk before bed is more than just a cozy ritualāitās actually backed by science. Milkās nutrients, including high-quality complete protein, calcium, magnesium, and vitamins A and D, can support healthy sleep. Studies have shown these nutrients may help kids (and adults!) fall asleep faster, sleep longer, and even promote more time spent in REM sleep. So, not only does a small bedtime snack with dairy milk help curb any lingering post-dinner hunger, but it also sets them up for more restful sleep. It’s a win-win for everyone involved.
Play in their rooms for five minutes
Once the kids have their snacks in hand, my husband and I split up to make the magic happen. One of us goes with our 3-year-old, the other with our 5-year-old. We rotate which parent goes with which kiddo each night to help each kid get a little 1:1 time with us both. We let them play quietly in their rooms for about five minutes, just to help wind things down in a calm and comforting way.
We always set a timer to keep things on track (and to avoid the ājust one more minute pleeeeaseā negotiations). These few minutes of low-stimulation play, like lining up cars, flipping through books, or rocking with a stuffed animal, help our kids transition to a restful state more naturally instead of just sticking them under their comforter and praying to the Sandman that they suddenly get tired. Plus, that short window of connection helps meet their need for closeness before bedtime, which cuts down on clinginess when itās time to say goodnight.
Read a book or watch a low-stim, educational video
One of the best bedtime shifts weāve made recently? Giving our kids some choice in how they wind down. After brushing their teeth, they get to decide: Do they want to read a couple of books or watch a short, semi-educational video? This tiny bit of autonomy has made a huge difference, especially for our oldest, who tends to get curious right before bed and ask every question under the sun.
We started this after noticing my son would suddenly have a lot of questions at night, like, āHow do ballerinas dance on their tippy toes?ā or āHow do we get milk from cows?ā So, we found a few low-stimulation videos thanks to some simple Google searching that give simple, factual answers to questions like those. He loves being able to pick the topic, and weāve all learned something new along the way.
Do “checks” to help them stay in their beds
The transition from crib to big-kid bed can be quite the journey. To help our son get used to staying in bed, we started doing what we call āchecks.ā After saying goodnight, we tell him weāll come back in a few minutes to check on him, and we always do. We keep it to a quick visit: a kiss, a hug, and a reminder that weāre just down the hall. Weāll usually do this about five times, depending on how heās doing, but honestly? Heās usually out before we even get to the third.
These mini check-ins helped him feel reassured and safe during the early months of big-kid-bed life. And when our youngest makes that same transition soon, weāll be doing the exact same thing with her. The goal isnāt perfectionāitās creating a bedtime routine that feels safe, loving, and predictable. Messy consistency will always be better than spurts of “perfect” effort.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Steph Alleva Cornell, Branded Content Editor
Since becoming a young mama in 2020, Steph has found joy in creating beautiful yet relatable content surrounding the raw realities of motherhood. She believes showcasing both the wonders and struggles of being a parent helps other mothers understand that they are not alone in their journey.
As the Branded Content Editorial Assistant, McKenna collaborates with our sales team by creating both written and social media content, collecting and analyzing performance data to report back to our partners, and assisting our editors with their everyday tasks to ensure a smooth and productive process.
