"I had a panic attack around three years ago at the zoo. Yes, the zoo. My husband, daughter, and I got on a small monorail ride. I didn’t realize that as the monorail made its way all around the zoo, it climbed very high above the ground. Plus, the little train cars were so tiny, barely enclosed, and didn’t seem completely safe. I made it to the end of the ride, but I got off barely breathing.
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Another recent attack happened at a balloon art installation. To be fair, that particular day, I woke up and could tell right away that something was off. I just felt more on edge and nervous. But when we got to the installation, it was set up basically in a temporary warehouse format, in large black spaces that made me feel scared. I felt like I was trapped due to the darkness. My husband and daughter continued through the exhibit, but with my 4-month-old son in his stroller, I sought help from one of the workers who guided us out of the exhibit and found the on-call doctor for me.
Having experienced panic attacks in such unlikely circumstances taught me that panic attacks do not discriminate—they can happen anywhere and anytime, including when you least expect them. When you think of a panic attack, you might think of something scary or traumatic. But that’s not always the case, at least not for me. In my recent years as a mom, the panic attacks I experienced as a child have made an unpleasant return.
My History of Panic Attacks as a Child
I first started experiencing panic attacks after 9/11. I was a child at the time, growing up in NYC, and the terror attacks turned me into a very scared child. I was too scared to go on the train, go to school, and more due to a fear of dying from another attack. My parents sent me to therapy, where my therapist taught me the coping mechanism of breathing into a paper bag at the onset of an attack.
As I grew up, my panic attacks became a thing of the past—until I lived through another unprecedented event—the pandemic as a mom. My panic attacks have started to show up again in the most unexpected of places (i.e., the zoo.) Here, with the help of an expert, I’m sharing how I’m coping with panic attacks as a mom and what to know about panic attacks in kids and adults.
Editor’s Note: Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical or mental health condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read in this article.
Robin Hornstein, Ph.D.
Robin Hornstein, Ph.D. offers psychotherapy and life coaching via Telehealth. Robin is licensed in several states as a member of Psypact. Specializing in Eating Disorders, Fertility, Parenting, College Transition, and the anxiety/depression continuum, Robin is an intersectional/inclusive therapist and coach.
Common Signs of a Panic Attack
Panic is often the physiological manifestation of anxiety in that it is felt more than it is thought. Flushing and breathing difficulties are certainly common. Expressing fears that are not based on what is happening in the moment is another common symptom. In my experience, panic attacks can be tough to pinpoint because sometimes they can just feel like shortness of breath, so you might be quick to push aside your worries.
That’s all the more reason to know what counts as a panic attack as well as the difference between a panic attack and a panic disorder. According to the National Institute of Mental Health, “People with panic disorder have frequent and unexpected panic attacks. These attacks are characterized by a sudden wave of fear or discomfort or a sense of losing control even when there is no clear danger or trigger.” Additionally, the NIMH notes that “not everyone who experiences a panic attack will develop panic disorder.“
Of course, how panic attacks feel may vary by person, but many adults took to the internet to say a scene from the new Disney/Pixar movie Inside Out 2 was an accurate representation of a panic attack. In the film, Anxiety takes over, causing Riley’s mind to swirl and her body to hyperventilate until she can ground herself in the world around her.
Panic attacks in kids can look pretty similar to what adults experience, explains Psychologist Robin Hornstein, Ph.D. “They usually last about 20 minutes or so and symptoms can be physical and psychological at the same time, which is why we want to rule out medical conditions that could mimic a panic attack.”
Signs of a panic attack in children
“When a child is having a panic attack, stress hormones are in high gear, and it can come out of the blue. Panic can include rapid heartbeat, hyperventilating, fear of dying, or specific anxieties, and the face or torso may flush,” said Dr. Hornstein.
“Panic and anxiety usually stem from our biology mixed with our experiences. Anticipating how children will feel when overwhelmed and teaching them tools to self-soothe are best,” explains Dr. Hornstein. “Depending on the age of the child who has panic attacks, there are ways to learn to let the body and mind settle. Some great tools can include: breathing techniques that slow the body down—puffing out the belly and blowing out the air is quite helpful—drawing about it for kids that like art, and writing about it in a journal helps. You can also have your older child write a rescue list of things to do if they begin to feel panicky so they feel more in control.”
Treatment for panic attacks in children and adults
The good news is that children do well with Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) interventions as well as teaching them mindfulness skills, explains Dr. Hornstein. When all else fails, there are medications that can also help. Common times kids might have panic attacks are when stressors are novel and upsetting. Getting support quickly helps stop the fear of another attack, something we know can make it worse.
For children and adults, one thing to remember is that once physiological symptoms occur, you cannot just talk them away as they have to process through your system, explains Dr. Hornstein. Which is not to say that all is lost. “There are many techniques that can help you resettle your system,” she shares.
Coping with panic attacks as a mom
As for me personally, when I am having a panic attack, I need to distance myself for a moment and go into a quiet space alone, if possible. I don’t want my children to worry, and it’s better for me. I take long deep breaths to regulate my breathing and try to refocus my energy on something. If I’m able, I also take a long, cool shower to help me calm down. Dr. Hornstein offered these suggestions as well:
- Humming actually does not allow for thoughts to occur so if you hum, which can be soothing to you and a young child, you also stop fretting about the fact that you are panicking and can reduce some of the stress.
- Dancing it out and paying attention to smiling, which seems antithetical to panic, but tells your brain it will pass and you will be OK.
- Reaching out to a trusted person to help is a good idea as well, as it is both comforting and distracting.
For me, panic attacks are a reaction to usually getting nervous about something or, oddly enough, caring about something too much, which as a mom, is all too often. Remember that panic attacks as a mom are more common than many care to admit, so please know that you are not alone. Professional help can also offer coping tools to help you move through them.
Caroline Chirichella, Contributing Writer
Caroline Chirichella is originally from NYC and now lives in Puglia, Italy with her Italian husband, daughter, son, and three rescue dogs. She is a full-time writer and public relations consultant who specializes in mompreneurs. She has written for The New York Times, The Lily by The Washington Post, Elle, Shape, Health, Romper, Parents, and more. She loves morning cuddles with her kids and lazy Sundays spent with her family.