"Sometimes I just can’t help telling my daughters they look pretty. It’s so hard not to blurt out how stinking cute they look in their ballet gear, dress-up clothes, or the mismatched outfit they chose for the day. It takes a conscious effort for me to ensure my balance of compliments leans more towards truths about who they are, rather than how they look.
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I realize this challenge comes, in part, because I’m a parent in transition. I’m in the midst of moving from toddlerhood to kid-hood. I think when our babies are little, we are just getting to know their personalities. As they grow, we might begin to understand whether they’re adventurous, talkative, observant, or outgoing. We might know what makes them cranky or the face they make when they need a diaper change, but we’re only beginning to discover who they are as people. So, it’s understandable we can’t stop talking about their cuteness. Plus, it’s science, humans are drawn to adorable babies (and puppies too).
Surface compliments are easier because they’re right in front of us. Think of how many times you’ve complimented a stranger on their outfit or asked where they found their cute handbag. We don’t know these people, so unless we observe them doing something extra kind, we can’t really give them a more meaningful compliment. But as our own children grow and we observe what makes them special, we can go deeper.
Below, I’m sharing 30+ non-appearance-based compliments to give your kids. Plus, you can take any of these a step further with specific observations you noticed.
Compliments for Kids: On Relationships
1. You give the best hugs.
2. I love spending time with you.
3. You have such a good heart.
4. You are a kind friend.
5. You helped make my day a happy one.
6. You were so thoughtful today.
7. You were/are a great listener.
8. You had such a positive attitude today and it made me smile.
Compliments for Kids: On Responsibilities
Experts have said it helps to praise the process, not only the outcome for our kids. Here are some examples of how to compliment your kids on their daily responsibilities:
9. You’ve really been practicing tying your shoes/zipping your coat/loading up your backpack, I notice you’ve improved.
10. Your teacher is going to be impressed by the work you’ve put into .
11. Excellent job getting ready today!
12. You are such a good helper when you brush your teeth/get dressed/grab your backpack all by yourself.
13. Great job putting that outfit together.
14. I’m proud of how hard you worked on .
15. You’re learning so much this year—your hard work is really paying off.
Compliments for Kids: On What Makes Them Unique
16. You come up with interesting ideas.
17. I love your curiosity.
18. I can feel your passion about .
19. I enjoy listening to your stories.
20. You’re so creative, tell me how you thought of this.
21. I’m proud you want to try this yourself.
22. I’m going to think about (funny or heartwarming thing your child did) if I need to smile today.
23. You have the best laugh.
24. Your smile makes me smile.
25. You’re really funny!
26. It’s so fun to watch you learning and growing every day.
Compliments for Kids: On Family
27. I feel happy I get to wake up with you in my family.
28. I’m grateful for you.
29. You are such a helpful big brother/sister.
30. I always look forward to seeing you at the beginning and end of each day.
31. You are such a great role model in our family.
And, it goes without saying: saying “I love you” is a great compliment any time.
Kathy Sisson, Senior Editor
A mom of two, Kathy is passionately committed to sharing the honest, helpful—and often humorous—stories of motherhood, as she navigates her own everyday adventures of work, marriage, and parenting. She honed her creative and strategic skills at advertising agencies in Detroit and Chicago, before pivoting from marketing to editorial. Now instead of telling brand stories, she’s sharing her own, with articles published across popular parenting sites—including hundreds of stories on The Everymom.