"My youngest is usually eager to share the highlights of her day at preschool and daycareâshe tells me who needed a bandaid, who got in trouble, or who peed their pants. But when it comes to digging a little bit deeper for details about their day, especially with my older school-age child, my kids usually need a little coaxing. Even though Iâm so excited to talk to them after pick-up, often the car ride home from school and daycare is pretty quiet as they eat their snacks and decompress. If youâre like me, you might be racking your brain for questions to ask your child instead of âhow was schoolâ?
I get it. Theyâve been around other people all day and probably want a little time to be by themselves. Iâve found the best information usually comes out later at dinnertime or as we snuggle before bed. As parents, I think weâre so eager to hear about their days because weâve missed them (of course), but we really want to quiet our own underlying worries when our kids arenât in our care. We want to know whether they felt safe, were happy, acted like a good friend, and were treated as a good friend by their peers. Plus, itâs fun to get a peek into their new experiences and new learnings.
To help, we pulled together a list of 30+ questions to ask your child instead of âhow was school?â Check out these conversation-starters below!Â
On Friendships
1. Who made you laugh today?
2. Who was in your group today?
3. Who did you sit by at lunch?
4. Is there someone you want to be friends with but arenât yet?
5. Who did you play with?
6. Was anyone sitting by themselves today? Who?
7. What do you like about âXâ friends (whoever they talk about most)?
8. Whatâs something a friend taught you today?
On Feelings
9. Did anything make you feel happy today?
10. Did anything make you feel sad today?
12. Tell me about one thing you did today made you feel proud (and why it made you feel that way).
12. Did anything make you feel worried or uncomfortable today?
13. Whatâs one thing that would make you feel better/excited about school tomorrow?
On Learning
14. Tell me something you know today that you didnât know yesterday.
15. What do you wish you learned today?
16. Can you teach me a song you sang?
17. Tell me about a story you read/listened to.
18. Describe something you saw outside today. I will try to guess what it was.
19. What was the most challenging thing you did today?
20. Whatâs a question you still have about what you learned today?
21. Whatâs something you did or learned today that youâll remember for a long time?
On Classroom Dynamics
22. What made your teacher smile today?
23. Did you see anyone being kind/unkind today?
24. What was the most surprising thing that happened today?
25. Did you see somebody who needed help today? What happened?
26. What would you change about today if you could?
27. What games did you play at recess?
28. What did you create today?
29. Tell me about one thing you did today that you didnât enjoy.
30. Tell me about XX (insert subject your childâs teacher has shared with you).
31. What are you most looking forward to tomorrow?
If 30+ questions to ask kids instead of âhow was your day?â seem like too many to remember, many of my mom friends just use two simple questions every day: what was your favorite part of the day and least favorite part of the day? Otherwise known as the good and the bad, the high and the low, or the rose and the thorn. The answers will likely tell you everything you really need to know and hopefully reveal more than who peed their pants.
Kathy Sisson, Senior Editor
A mom of two, Kathy is passionately committed to sharing the honest, helpfulâand often humorousâstories of motherhood, as she navigates her own everyday adventures of work, marriage, and parenting. She honed her creative and strategic skills at advertising agencies in Detroit and Chicago, before pivoting from marketing to editorial. Now instead of telling brand stories, sheâs sharing her own, with articles published across popular parenting sitesâincluding hundreds of stories on The Everymom.