Let me clarify: I am not talking about sex after childbirth. The first encounter with your partner after birthing your baby might be great, or it might be akin to losing your v-card: awkward, fast, and a little bit painful.
I’m also not talking about the process of making babies, which for many includes unwelcome periods, negative pregnancy tests, and utilitarian sex acts in the position you know works the fastest (like when the smiley face on your ovulation stick appears right before you’re headed out of town on a girls’ weekend and need that quickie deposit).
No, I’m talking about sex after you’ve decided your family is complete and can be fully free to enjoy it for the pure pleasure again.
One might argue sex is the best when you’re young; unencumbered by kids—or a steady partner. The time to have a variety of experiences with a variety of people when your body is firmer and definitely more flexible.
Then, maybe you meet your person and a honeymoon phase of frequent sex ensues. At some point later—either by choice or by accident—you get pregnant, have the baby. Days and nights blend together in a haze. But I’m telling you when you emerge bleary-eyed from the early child-rearing years, you’ve got some hot sexy time to look forward to.
The comfort in choosing each other over and over again equates to connection you could’ve only imagined in your younger days. There’s a naughty beauty to intimacy when you don’t need to be many MANY cocktails deep before suggesting experimental positions, role play, or kinks. It takes only ongoing communication, a shared spirit of adventure, and every so often a Disney movie playing on the TV in the living room.
But I’m telling you when you emerge bleary-eyed from the early child-rearing years, you’ve got some hot sexy time to look forward to.
I don’t remember the exact moment my husband and I turned back to each other and turned up the heat. It was somewhere around the time our little ones didn’t wander out of their bedrooms late at night or wake us up (as) early in the morning. It was also after we’d made a pretty permanent decision our family felt complete (read: vasectomy).
We are older and a little bit squishier than the 20-somethings we were when we first met; who eyed each other across the cubicles, met for lunchtime romps, and sometimes stayed in bed until noon. Maybe now we only eye each other from across the kitchen counter, meet for nighttime romps (if we’re not too tired), and sleep in until the kids or dog wakes us up. But we’re so much more comfortable in our own (squishy) skin and more secure in our union.
I can’t help but feel this time after kids is a sexual sweet spot before the introduction of little blue pills and menopausal hot flashes. At nearly 40, we already suffer from occasional leg cramps in certain positions. But we also laugh more after sex than we ever did as those carefree 20-somethings. Maybe—with a little more stretching—our actual best sex is still yet to come (wink wink).
Any 50-somethings out there want to chime in with what to expect in the next sexual season? (Please do) tell us the comments!
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