My husband and I are childhood sweethearts who met at summer camp at age eight. We got married at 24 and always knew that we wanted to have a family together. On our second wedding anniversary, I saw those two pink lines for the first time: pregnant. I was shocked and we were thrilled. Our naive joy was slashed when at our first eight-week ultrasound we were told the baby was measuring a week behind and the heart rate was low for gestational age. We were told dates can sometimes be off and to come back in a week. Two weeks later, I laid in a dark room where an ultrasound tech quietly murmured five words that changed my life, “I’m sorry, there’s no heartbeat.”
We were told we were young, these things happen, it’s a fluke, go home and try again, and call in a year if you aren’t pregnant. Flustered, heartbroken, and traumatized by the miscarriage experience, we tried again. When I found myself back in a dark room six months later hearing those same words, I knew something was very, very wrong.
Starting the IVF Journey
After being referred to a reproductive endocrinologist for repeat pregnancy loss testing, we received the diagnosis that changed it all: one of us was the carrier of a balanced translocation, and this specific translocation was “incompatible with life.” We were told we had a one in eight chance for a live birth on our own, but that every natural pregnancy and subsequent miscarriage was a risk of irreparable damage to my uterus that could result in my inability to ever carry a pregnancy to term.
After much discussion with our doctor, my husband and I decided to pursue In Vitro Fertilization (IVF) with Pre-Genetic Diagnosis (PGD) testing. With the support of genetic counselors and our IVF clinic, we were given realistic odds that out of all the embryos that made it to day five, we had a zero to 10 percent chance of ANY of those embryos being viable. Despite the poor odds and the intense stress my body was about to endure, I pressed forward. My dreams of becoming a mother knew no bounds. There was nothing I wouldn’t do, spend, or suffer through to hold my baby in my arms.
That journey took over five years, three retrievals, eight additional surgeries for complications of my (six) miscarriages, and hundreds of thousands of dollars. It took a toll on my physical body, my mental health, my relationships, and my self-worth. Finally, after 27 embryos, our IVF journey gave me my son.
“[Our] journey took over five years, three retrievals, eight additional surgeries for complications of my (six) miscarriages, and hundreds of thousands of dollars. Finally, after 27 embryos, our IVF journey gave me my son.”
But what if I’d never been allowed the process? Or, even more heartbreaking, what if I’d spent the money, endured the physical and emotional pain, and had to stop the process? That’s exactly what’s happening to hopeful women in Alabama right now.
What Happened in the Alabama Supreme Court Ruling?
On February 16, 2024, the Alabama Supreme Court ruled that frozen embryos are considered children, and that a person could be held liable for accidentally destroying them, after three couples sued a fertility clinic for wrongful death (read the full Alabama Supreme Court ruling here.) The couples’ embryos were accidentally dropped when a patient wandered through an unsecured door, handled, and dropped the frozen embryos in storage. According to various news sources, three IVF providers in Alabama have already paused their services as a result of this ruling. “Because of the Alabama Supreme Court ruling,” reported Aria Bendix on NBC News, “IVF providers now fear they or their patients could face legal penalties if they discard any embryos.” And testing and finding the most viable embryos is part of the IVF process.
While I, of course, feel for the families of those embryos lost, the fallout from the court’s decision is devastating.
What I Want to Say to the Alabama Supreme Court
Have you ever sat on the bathroom floor month after month sobbing because you see another negative pregnancy test? Ever sat in a dark room with an ultrasound wand shoved into your pelvis being poked and prodded and told, “I’m sorry, there’s no heartbeat?” Have you ever had to leave family events, weddings, concerts, and work events to give yourself painful shots in the stomach, thighs, and butt that you aren’t even sure will result in a pregnancy?
Have you ever sat in a waiting room with tears in your eyes every morning for months waiting to have your blood drawn and yet another ultrasound wand shoved in your pelvis hoping that this time it will work? Have you ever laid awake in bed night after night during the two-week wait just praying it is your turn? Ever spent every last dollar you have and then some on hormone shots that alter your body, mind, and life because your desire to have a family is worth that and so much more? I think not.
To the Women in Alabama Who’ve Had to Halt Their IVF Journey
To all the women who are currently facing the unimaginable because of this decision, I see you, I feel your pain, and I stand with you. Whatever stage of the IVF process you are in that is now halted, I feel your pain. I grieve with you for the state of your body and mind, I cry with you about the uncertain future and path forward for you. I will use my voice to stand with you and speak up about the choices this ruling is taking away from you about your body and your fertility. This is not acceptable and we need to speak up.Â
“To all the women who are currently facing the unimaginable because of this decision, I see you, I feel your pain, and I stand with you. I will use my voice to stand with you and speak up about the choices this ruling is taking away from you about your body and your fertility.”
I want to acknowledge the pain and fear that the families of the accidentally destroyed embryos feel. I can’t imagine how it felt to hear that those embryos you worked so hard to get were destroyed without your consent. That yet another chance to become a parent had been stripped from you. That is a horrible thing to happen and a risk and fear I have experienced throughout my journey. We do need more strict protocols in clinics to minimize these risks wherever possible, but this court ruling is not the answer.
What’s Happening Next in Alabama and How to Help
Thankfully, not all IVF clinics in Alabama have halted services and out-of-state clinics are offering assistance. This week, state lawmakers are also stepping up. According to local Alabama news outlets, state lawmakers are moving forward on a bill to possibly protect IVF in light of the Alabama Supreme Court ruling. “A change in Alabama state law might be the only way to reverse the decision,” according to NBC News in Birmingham, AL, “The state Supreme Court cases can be appealed to the U.S. Supreme Court, but only when they rely on the U.S. Constitution. This ruling relies heavily on the Alabama constitution.”
Local fertility clinics are urging their social media followers to contact their elected officials to support the bill, with followers sharing helpful email templates and call scripts. Alabama residents can find their State Legislature representatives here.
