"When Melissa Ben-Ishay got fired from her advertising job back in 2008, she decided to go home and do something that made her happy instead of simply feeling sorry for herself. So, what exactly did she do? Baked bite-sized cupcakes, of course! More than 10 years later, Melissa is now running her own cupcake empire, Baked by Melissa, in the Big Apple, where she’s also raising two adorable little girls with her husband. If you’re wondering how this successful mom does it all (spoiler alert: she doesn’t believe in the word balance!), scroll down to read more about Melissa’s work as the president and CPO of a company, check out her best mom hacks, and take a peek inside her jam-packed daily schedule.
Name: Melissa Ben-Ishay, President and Chief Product Officer of Baked by Melissa
Age: 35
Location: New York, New York
Education: Bachelorās Degree in Child and Family Studies from Syracuse University
Children: Scottie, 3, and Lennie, 1
You’re the founder, president, and chief product officer of Baked by Melissa! Tell us about how you started your super successful cupcake business.
I founded the company in 2008 after being fired from my job in advertising. We sell bite-sized, stuffed cupcakes that make people happy. Everything is made entirely by hand with only the most delicious ingredients, and we ship our product all over the country.
Iāve always loved to bake. When I got fired from my advertising job, I was baking cupcakes for everyone and anyone ā if it was your birthday and I loved you, I baked you cupcakes. I was already known for these cupcakes, and my brother and I always wanted to start a business together, so he said, āGo home, bake your cupcakes ā weāll start a business.ā I listened, and instead of going home and feeling sorry for myself, I went home and did what made me happy. I baked four batches of cupcakes and, the very next day, I sent them to work with my best friendās little sister, who was working as an intern at a PR agency. Someone at the PR firm loved the cupcakes and put me in touch with a caterer. I went to him for a tasting less than a week after being fired. He loved them, and I started doing events with him less than two weeks after that, and Baked by Melissa was born. Itās a crazy story!
Weāve now been in business over 10 years. Itās even more fun now than when we first started. I appreciate it more. Iāve earned my position, and Iāve built a company and a team that are unlike anything Iāve ever seen before. It has surpassed my wildest dreams ā and itās still just the beginning! We have more than 250 employees, we have 14 retail locations, and 2019 will be the first year that our e-commerce outperforms retail and both are growing year over year.
What does your typical work schedule look like at Baked by Melissa?
I work full-time, five days a week. Iām usually one of the first people in the office, so Iām here before 9 am but I leave when my work is done. Iām fortunate to have a husband who finishes work before I do and often does the girlsā pick-ups, which is very helpful. And in my role, things come up, so I work plenty of weekends and weeknights.
You’re a wife and a mom to two little girls ā tell us a bit about your family.
I actually met my husband the day we opened our first Baked by Melissa store. We now work together on product development at my company. We have two beautiful girls: a three-year-old named Scottie and a one-year-old named Lennie.
You became a first-time mother in the midst of starting and growing a business ā what was that experience like?
Becoming a mom, obviously, gave me an entirely new priority when, for so long, my top and only real priority was Baked by Melissa. So, learning how to balance my company and my family is something that I do every single day. I think Iām in a constant state of FOMO. If Iām at work while my family is at home, I have FOMO. And if Iām at home while my tie-dye baby and Baked by Melissa family is at work, I also have FOMO. Thereās no such thing as balance ā my definition of success is working hard towards something I love. I see it as this incredible gift that I have the opportunity to work hard towards achieving something that I love so much, Baked by Melissa and, of course, my family. I donāt work towards retirement; I donāt want to be doing nothing. I think that doing something that makes you feel fulfilled at the end of the day is truly what success means, and I definitely feel fulfilled at the end of my day.
How much do your girls know about your job and your business?
One of my favorite experiences as a mom was when we went to Aruba with my parents and we flew out of JetBlueās terminal at JFK, where we have a Baked by Melissa store. We stopped at the airport store and got cupcakes, and I tried to explain to my oldest daughter, Scottie, that it was my business. She loves the cupcakes, sheās had them so many times, and weāve told her before that Iām Melissa, but we donāt spend that much time in the stores because there isnāt one in Hoboken. So, our store visits are always when weāre in the city or at the airport.
On the way back from our trip, we were walking through the terminal again and I said, āLook, Scottie, thereās Baked by Melissa! Do you remember buying cupcakes at that store?ā And she said, āYes!ā and was so happy. I replied, āYou know how the storeās name is Baked by Melissa? Well, mommy is Melissa!ā And, at that moment, I watched her little brain connect me with the store and she got so excited and grabbed my hand so tight and said, āYouāre Melissa! Baked by Melissaās my mom!ā
I think her teachers at daycare and her babysitters think itās the coolest thing ever and will talk to her about it too. Recently, I took her to the playground, and she was trying to make friends with this boy who was playing with another boy and she said, āMy mom is Melissa!ā Itās the cutest little thing ever. I donāt know how much she truly understands, but she gets it. Iām hoping to really use it to my advantage one day because my oldest is really a daddyās girl ā Iām holding out for my youngest ā but itās really great and theyāre so lucky.
How has motherhood impacted you both personally and professionally?
Having kids forced me to do what I need to do at work and delegate the other things, which is wonderful. I couldnāt do it without my incredible team of like-minded, hardworking, passionate people who get sh*t done. I feel, as a business owner, that Iām just lucky to be in my position. I recognize the whole slew of challenges of being a working mom that I donāt have to face because Iām the founder, president, product developer, and face of the brand and I canāt be replaced. If I was just working for some big corporation, I think Iād feel even more pressure in a very high-pressure role already.
I think ā motherhood aside ā that you grow and learn from every experience. Motherhood has definitely been a huge experience that Iāve learned and grown from; I learn from it every single day. Iāve definitely become more confident ā I made two babies, and thatās pretty spectacular! It gave me a new sense of self. Itās been humbling and confidence-building, and Iāve only been a mom for three years. I still have a long way to go, and Iām just learning and adjusting to what I experience every day.
As the owner of your own company, was it easy or difficult for you to take maternity leave after welcoming your children?
I took about eight weeks with my first child and then I vowed to take a full three months with my second. But I was on email ā you could get in touch with me and I definitely worked when necessary. I also planned my product assortment through my pregnancies but, for the most part, I took a full maternity leave the second time around. With my first baby, it was hard for me to let go and take time off. I still felt like I had something to prove. I didnāt have the confidence that I have today ā my older brother was our CEO, and I always wanted to show him how smart and capable I was. But by the time I had my second child, I had this new sense of self and I knew how important it was for me and my family to really take the time off. Itās still hard not to be here every single day, and I had to deal with that. I just recently went away for two weeks to visit my in-laws in another country, and that was really hard. Itās hard to be away because I consider Baked by Melissa my firstborn child in a lot of ways. I donāt want to be away, but sometimes itās necessary and I think maternity leave is a perfect example of that.
Since you and your husband both work full-time, what do you use for childcare?
When my first child was born, we hired a nanny. Unfortunately, after six months, we went away to visit my in-laws for two weeks and when we came home she stopped showing up for work. My husband and I both work for Baked by Melissa and had to get back to work, so we wound up putting our daughter in daycare against my will. I didnāt think we would have children in daycare, I just always assumed weād have a nanny. But after getting through the first week ā which was really hard on me ā I realized how incredible daycare is. It was such a perfect time to put her there. It helped her with stranger danger, she was around other kids, and she was constantly being stimulated. I quickly did a 180-degree turn and realized how amazing it was.
When we had our second, we felt we wanted her to be in daycare as well and didnāt think it would be fair to hire someone for three months and then let her go when we put our daughter in daycare. So, we put Lennie in daycare when she was three months old. That was very hard. It was also October, so she has had a cold since then, basically, because germs in daycare are definitely real. I think daycare is awesome, especially if you find one that you love, which we have. But itās harder for the parents. I come home from work every night and unpack their bags, wash their water bottles and sanitize them, I make my three-year-oldās lunch, and do laundry. We have a cleaning lady, but she comes once or twice a week, if weāre lucky, and the rest is up to me and my husband, who is amazing. I often use the word impossible. I do think things are often impossible, but I know that itās just a moment in time and weāre going to look back and miss this stage, so Iām just doing everything that I can to get through it and enjoy it and embrace the chaos.
Can you walk us through your daily routine?
Last night, we didnāt sleep because something is up with my youngest daughter ā maybe sheās teething, maybe sheās coming down with something. From 11 pm to about 2:30 am, we were trying to get her to go back to sleep, and at 5 am, my alarm went off. I do the morning routine with the girls, but today I took a 5:30 am yoga class before that. My husband was out the door and heading to work shortly after I finished my class, so I got Scottie and Lennie ready for school and got their bags together for the day.
Next, I walked them to daycare and then hopped on the train to get to the office. We later got a call from daycare because my youngest daughter may or may not have a fever ā her temperature is at 101.3, so weāre waiting to hear whatās next regarding that. My husband usually picks the girls up from daycare and brings them home in the afternoon. I run home as quickly as I can after Iām done with work and make dinner. Usually, thatās a vegetable-based meal for my husband and me and mac and cheese or pizza for my three-year-old. We get a subscription meal service for my one-year-old, although sheās eating everything we do as well.
After our family dinner, my husband usually gives the girls baths while I answer emails, look at Instagram, do laundry or clean up from the meal. I typically pack my daughter’s lunch for the next day using leftovers from our dinner. After that, we play a bit ā right now, the weather is finally nice, so I love to garden. We have a little garden on our roof that my daughter and I are nurturing, so weāll go up there and water the plants while our youngest is already asleep. Weāll then put my older daughter to sleep, and I usually go to sleep about an hour after.
You and your family live in Hoboken, New Jersey ā what is it like living just outside of New York City with two little girls?
We really love Hoboken, we think itās the perfect middle-ground between big Manhattan and the suburbs. I grew up in the suburbs and liked it, but I could never live there right now for the amount I work ā Iād never see my children and be commuting too much. Hoboken is perfect for us, and weāve also made a ton of new friends through our children, particularly through our oldest. We moved when I was nine months pregnant with Scottie, and we made so many new friends through her daycare. We spend weekends at soccer, gymnastics, birthday parties, and the park. We ride around on bikes and scooters and go out for ice cream and eat dinner at 5 pm. We just enjoy everything, especially now that the weather is nicer. Life is really about our kids, and our weekends are filled non-stop with activities with them and for them. Itās probably even more exhausting than our weekdays.
How has your view of motherhood changed since you became a mom yourself?
It has completely changed. Itās one thing to look at somebody with children and think about it, itās another thing to experience it. I remember people telling me what it would be like when I was pregnant, but there really are no words to explain what itās like to be a parent. Itās the most incredible thing that Iāve ever done. Itās so f**king hard and so f**king awesome ā really!
What is the most rewarding part of being a mom for you? And whatās the most challenging aspect of parenthood?
The most rewarding part is just watching your children grow. I grew them in my belly, and they continue to grow and become real people who have thoughts and words and actions, and itās beautiful, magical, and crazy. The most challenging part is ā Iām sure all parents feel this ā putting pressure on myself. Iām raising two people who are going to grow up to make their own decisions, and I can only equip them with everything I have to prepare them for life. Itās also challenging to raise a child with someone else. Iāve never had to share my role at work, but when you become a parent, you share that job, and it takes compromise, patience, listening, understanding, and you have to be willing to make mistakes. Thatās challenging. I just had lunch with my best friend, and she just had a baby about a month ago. I was like, āThank God youāre a mom now, now you see!ā Itās hard. Itās awesome, but itās hard.
When it comes to being a mom, what are you most confident about and what are you still insecure about?
I know Iām a great mom. I donāt know if I would have always said that, but weāre all just doing the best we can. Iāve learned that balance doesnāt exist. Iāve learned that Iām never going to feel like Iām a good enough mom, daughter, sister, friend, and wife and that comes with the territory ā Iām just one person.
Now that youāre a parent, is there something that you and your husband have sacrificed at home that has surprised you?
Itās funny, I still never leave dirty dishes in the sink ā Iām so OCD about cleanliness, itās crazy. Now that weāre parents, weāre all about keeping our kids on their schedules even if it affects ours. I had a friend from high school who kept her kids on such a schedule and used to say things like, āI canāt get together because this child needs to nap or this one has this activity.ā My husband and I used to say, āThatās so crazy, theyāve ruined your life!ā But now that we have kids, we get it ā if you donāt go by your childās schedule, then they donāt sleep at night, and your life becomes miserable. We have completely adjusted to our children’s needs and nap times and bedtimes. Iām one of those parents now, I guess.
Can you share with us three mom hacks you rely on to make things work in your day-to-day life?
1. Always be real. Iām the person who sometimes says, āIām going to kill my husband today,ā and Iām fine with that because life isnāt perfect, and thatās real.
2. Stay close to your mom friends. I couldnāt survive without my mom friends because they get it, they understand. You need people who are experiencing the same things as you at the same time.
3. Amazon, FreshDirect, and Uber. I donāt know how working moms existed before this technology. I canāt go food shopping or to the drug store ā itās crazy! Even daycare has an app. I see when my daughter eats, pees, and plays, and I get pictures of her throughout the day. Itās convenient, and itās necessary for my success as a mom.
Melissa Ben-Ishay is The Everymomā¦
Favorite family tradition? Dinnertime as a family as often as possible ā multiple times a night!
Your dream vacation? I miss Tulum, Mexico ā I havenāt been there since I became a parent.
Last home item you splurged on? We just got a new shelving unit from Room & Board, and I love it!
Most embarrassing mom moment? My husband gave my daughter her first haircut, and she looked like a boy for the next six months. He mentioned doing it like a week before it happened, and I remember thinking to myself, āIāll pick my battles. Iām not going to say anything because heās not really going to do it.ā But I came home from a full company, store, and employee meeting to see my 6-month-old little girl ā she had long hair, so much hair! ā with a mushroom cut. That was the angriest Iāve ever been at my husband.
Proudest career achievement? Everything about Baked by Melissa ā Iām so proud of it!
Favorite date night activity? Splurging on amazing sushi.
Best mom advice youāve been given? Embrace the chaos ā it goes really fast!