Getting to know other couples is like dating all over again. It’s exciting, but it can also be awkward or nerve-wracking. Even when you’re getting together with old friends, you might have a hard time getting the conversation flowing—especially if it’s been a long time since you hung out or you have a lot of catching up to do. Prompting people with some questions can go a long way in breaking the ice.
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Keep in mind that certain topics—such as whether a couple is going to get married or have kids—can bring up negative emotions for people, depending on their circumstances. Kids are an especially fraught topic if one partner wants a baby and the other doesn’t or is undecided or if they’re having a hard time conceiving. Even if they already have a child, the question of whether they’ll have more kids could be a sore subject. That doesn’t mean these topics would never come up naturally, just that it can be risky to ask them outright.
Below are 50 conversation starters for couple friends, whether it’s your first double date or you need fodder for a long road trip or weekend.
Conversation Starters for Couple Friends
Conversation starters for new couple friends
1. How long have you been together?
2. How long have you lived in your current area?
3. Do you plan to stay there a long time? Why or why not?
4. Where are you both originally from, and where have you lived since?
5. Have you traveled together? If so, what was your favorite trip?
6. Do you have any upcoming travel plans?
7. What keeps you busy outside of work?
8. What’s the best movie you’ve seen in the past few months? (Or book, or TV show, or concert).
9. What’s your favorite podcast?
10. Do you have any pets?
11. (If they’re married) Did you have a wedding, and if so, what was it like?
Conversation starters to learn more about couples you already know
12. Where and how did you meet?
13. What were your first impressions of each other, and how does that differ from your impression now? Did you make any false assumptions about the other person?
14. How have your everyday habits changed since you started dating?
15. How has your partner influenced your beliefs or views, if at all?
16. Do you practice any kind of religion or particular traditions together?
17. Do you speak any languages other than English?
18. What’s the best gift your partner has ever gotten you?
19. What’s your best domestic skill or accomplishment? (i.e., maybe you make perfect pancakes or have built a shed from scratch.)
20. How are you each similar or different from your parents?
21. What’s the best meal you’ve had at a restaurant in the past year? What about at home?
22. If you could only eat one cuisine for the rest of your life, what would it be?
23. What were your nicknames as a kid?
24. What are your nicknames for your pets or kids?
Personality-based conversation starters
It can be fun to ask people these questions about their partners first to let them guess.
25. What’s your astrological sign, and do you think it fits? Why/why not?
26. Do you know your Myers-Briggs types? If so, what is it?
27. What about your Enneagram type?
28. If you were any animal, what would you be and why? (Also works with which beverage, dessert, car, plant, or city).
29. If you could have one superhero power, what would it be?
30. Which Hogwarts house would you be in?
31. Which Sex and the City character are you most like? (All the better when it’s applied to men).
32. How many siblings do you have, and do you think your birth order affects your personality?
“Would you rather” conversation starters
There are endless iterations of these types of questions, and depending on how well you know each other, you could get a lot more deep and/or edgy. The below would work for nearly any crowd.
33. Would you rather never have to clean your house again or be able to eat whatever you want with no regard for your health?
34. Would you rather live in a gorgeous beach house or a luxury high-rise apartment?
35. Would you rather give up pizza forever or only be able to eat pizza for the rest of your life?
36. Would you rather shave your entire head or not get your hair cut or styled for a year?
37. Would you rather have ten cats or ten kids?
Conversation starters that spark your imagination
38. If you had one bonus hour in the day that no one else had, what would you do with it?
39. If you could live anywhere in the world, where would you live?
40. If you could do a totally different line of work than what you do, and you had the skills/talent to do it, what would it be?
41. Which athletes would you draft on your ultimate team? (Pick a sport you know they’re into).
42. If you could compete in any Olympic sport, what would it be?
43. If you could follow around any pop star or musician for their entire tour, who would it be?
Conversation starters for couples with kids
44. What’s one thing that gets your kid really excited?
45. What’s the weirdest or funniest thing that your kid has complained about recently?
46. What’s your proudest parenting moment of the past week? (It could be as small as getting your kid to stop crying by doing an impression of a TV show character.)
47. What about your child reminds you of yourself? Your signifiant other?
48. What’s been your most memorable family vacation?
49. What’s one comment people make about your kids or parenting that drives you crazy? (Note: Nearly every parent will take an opening to vent, if not about their own parents or in-laws, then judgments from teachers, friends, or random strangers.)
50. If you could have one full, totally kid-free day, what would you do from start to finish?
