When was the last time you truly listened to yourself when making decisions? It may seem like a silly question, but you’re not alone if sometimes things feel so hectic you can barely hear yourself think. And if you’ve made some decisions you later felt unsure or lousy about? Well, that’s normal too. The thing is that sometimes it’s hard to listen to ourselves when it seems like the opinions of loved ones or even strangers on social media are so loud. But what if you learned to practice intuitive living this year? That is, learning to live guided by your intuition? Separate from fear, it’s the small voice that truly sounds like you instead of opinions from family, friends or society. Its sole purpose is to make sure you’re living in a way that feels true to you, from the way you think to how you view your body.
To help you learn how to tap into your intuition, we’re sharing four ways to practice intuitive living in the new year below.
1. Quiet your inner critic by learning to listen to your inner voice
Whether it’s the voice of an eighth grade bully you used to know or the voice you developed when you said/did something embarrassing, your inner critic is notorious for stirring up doubt in your mind. This can range from feeling like you’re not good enough to parent your kid to perceived problems with your physical appearance.
According to psychologist Lauren Alexander, PhD, in an article published by The Cleveland Clinic, negative thinking can worsen anxiety and depression, hurt your self-esteem, and even affect interpersonal relationships through things like “trauma dumping” on family and friends.
If you’re reading this and thinking, “Great, that’s just what I need,” we get it. If you want to quiet your inner critic, it’s important to learn how to hear and trust your voice. A few ways you can do that:
- Speaking with a licensed therapist who can help you get to the root of your inner critic’s voice if you’re unsure of where to start
- Carving out “me time” and time for quiet reflection
- Journaling your thoughts and asking yourself how you want to feel about whatever your inner critic focuses on the most
- Writing positive affirmations in your voice
2. Learn to filter out the opinions and emotions of others
This is easier said than done regardless of who you are. We’re bombarded with conflicting messages from just about everywhere, so it’s no wonder you may feel like you can’t hear yourself think sometimes. But to keep tending to the relationship you have with your inner voice, it’s necessary to filter out the opinions and emotions of others.
Again, because there are so many opinions circulating in our immediate circles and online, it’s easily possible to take on the thoughts and emotions of others. For example, one of our writers found herself watching various TikTok videos about weaponized incompetence. The more she watched them, the angrier she became, and it caused her to become harsh with her partner. It wasn’t until they went to couple’s counseling that she realized she was taking on the thoughts and opinions of complete strangers.
You can respect that everyone has different opinions. But when you find yourself basing your feelings, opinions, and decisions off other people’s lives, it could be time to reflect on what you value in your own life.
One of the ways you can create an internal mental and emotional filter is by setting boundaries for yourself and others. If you’re on social media frequently, try taking stock of who you follow. Sometimes the people we think are witty and informative are actually taking a toll on our mental and emotional state. Should you find that you feel drained every time you see them in your feed, it’s okay to hit the unfollow button.
The same can be applied to your interactions with people in your daily life. Although you can’t necessarily unfollow people IRL, you can change how you interact with them. Have a co-worker who likes to bombard you with gossip as soon as you come into work, leading to the beginning of an hours-long migraine? Create a boundary by letting them know you would like to get settled into work before you have a conversation with them or by finding ways to steer the conversation away from their gossip.
3. Listen to your desires and your body’s needs
Oftentimes our body tries to communicate with us, but we don’t always listen. Just like in the example above, a migraine may stem from feeling exhausted by a co-worker’s disregard for your time. On the other hand, it’s possible that stress can build up in your body to the point where you start to experience burnout. This could look like you losing your keys for a few days only to find them under a pile of dirty clothes, or inadvertently shutting down or lashing out at people you love dearly.
To practice listening to your body, try to take note of how you feel when you’re in a stressful situation. Does your heart rate speed up or do you find yourself clenching your jaw a lot? These are clues from your body that you’re in a situation you’re not comfortable with. In another scenario, you may also be ignoring your body’s desires. The fear of sexual shame or feeling of “I can’t possibly rest when there’s so much work to do” are very real, but they can cause us to ignore what our body wants.Â
4. Go with the flow
This probably sounds contradictory, but sometimes your inner voice just wants you to go with the flow of things. Life can be unpredictable but not always in a bad way. Have you ever decided not to go to your favorite place for lunch and try something new only to discover a hidden gem? That decision didn’t stem from filtering out or planning anything. It was an inkling you felt inside to try something new that happened to work in your favor. That’s a part of allowing yourself to live intuitively; trusting that everything doesn’t always have to be planned in order to be positive or feel great.Â
Do you know what’s so great about learning to trust your inner voice? You get to nurture this relationship over time. So there’s no need to rush to have everything figured out. And as you gain more life experience—from watching your child hit developmental milestones to grappling with loss—your inner voice may change to mirror what you need at a given point in your life. Give yourself permission to change and grow over time. Remember that your kids aren’t the only ones who deserve patience and grace. You do too.
