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Parenthood is quite the adventure—we know the years are short, but the days can be extra long (hello, the sleep deprivation stage!). Somehow, the first time your not-so-little-one goes to preschool feels like someone pressed fast-forward from the moment they were born. Now, they are no longer swaddled in a blanket, but instead, they look so tiny wearing their first “big kid” backpack. As parents, our role is to get them excited about this next phase that begins their formal education.
Of course, anything that’s “new” can also feel intimidating and cause butterflies in your preschooler’s stomach. These sentiments are normal, and we encourage all the feels when it comes to your little one’s preschool experience. Don’t be surprised if you get caught up in all the emotions, too. There will be many “firsts” you will live through with your growing child, but their first year of preschool is one to cherish in your memory (and in theirs) forever.
In anticipation of this monumental moment in your kiddo’s life, we’re sharing a few fun and simple ways to make the first day of preschool (and beyond) a smoother experience for the whole family.
Mom-to-mom advice for navigating the big preschool transition
Talk about school
It’s helpful to talk to your children about their school and what they’ll be doing once they start classes. The language you use before the first day and throughout the year is really important, so speak positively about their teachers and classmates. Younger kids may not understand everything you’re saying, so tap into their imagination and communicate through play. Role-play simple classroom dynamics with them using their toys to help them envision what a typical preschool day may look like. You can also show them examples of school through books and educational shows.
PBS KIDS and Fred Rogers Productions have many of our favorite TV programs that do a masterful job of addressing all of the feelings associated with back-to-school for kids at the preschool age. New episodes of Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood, including this “Daniel Goes to School” episode and this “Daniel Asks Before Touching Someone Else” episode, focus on common back-to-school scenarios and help walk young kids through the transition with age-appropriate examples.
Another parent-fave is Daniel Tiger’s Grownups Come Back strategy song, which is immensely helpful as your preschooler adjusts to those emotional morning drop-offs. Daniel Tiger reminds us: “When we do something new, let’s talk about what we’ll do.” Our young learners encounter many new experiences when they start school. “This strategy is my reminder that what may seem like routine for us could be very new for a child,” said Mallory Mbalia, Director of Learning and Education at Fred Rogers Productions and a mother of four. “I still use this strategy song a lot with my first grader!”
Welcome a range of emotions
It’s perfectly normal for children to experience separation anxiety, especially if it’s their first time away from their parents. Talk through their worries and reassure them as they express any feelings of fear. Some kids don’t start showing separation anxiety until a few days or weeks after the school year starts, which is also completely normal.
While navigating these new feelings will feel difficult for everyone, keep in mind it won’t last forever. It’s important to sit in the discomfort instead of avoiding it to help your child grow. Remind them (and yourself) that change can be both exciting and sad at the same time. “As Daniel Tiger reminds us: ‘Sometimes you feel two feelings at the same time, and that’s okay,’” said Mbalia. “This is another strategy song that validates a child’s feelings and yours, too.”
Make a schedule
Many children thrive on a predictable schedule. If you’ve been following a consistent schedule at home that will suddenly be changing, it can be helpful to go through what a school routine might look like. Create a schedule with pictures attached that can include clothing, cereal, shoes, and anything else that might be part of getting ready for school. Some schools use these types of charts, so it’ll be something familiar that they’ll also see in school.
Try to stay consistent once your new school routines begin and minimize your own mental load by sticking to familiar habits for your family. For instance, choose easy-to-make breakfasts that don’t require too much energy, keep their favorite snacks in your purse or car to hand them during pick-up, and stick to an early bedtime throughout the week. Yes, these things sound small by themselves, but they become moments in your child’s day they can always depend on.
This visual schedule is an awesome tool for adding structure to children’s daily lives. Easy to follow and flexible with moving pieces, it’s a perfect resource to help pre-readers alleviate anxiety and follow routines with more confidence and independence.
Your child’s teacher will be with your little one all day long and do their best to care for them while they’re at school. Stay in communication with them throughout the school year by sharing any big home transitions, like a new sibling, a parent being out of town, or even a poor night’s sleep. When your teacher is properly informed, they can provide extra support when needed.
Create a quick “goodbye routine”
Saying goodbye may be the toughest part of the day for you and your little one as they adjust to the new change. Make it fun by creating a special handshake, hug, or something you say to each other before school starts. Whatever you choose to do, make sure it is familiar to them, but brief enough to not cause more anticipation during drop-off.
Some children hop out of the car and walk right into the classroom without looking back. Others may struggle to leave their parents. Either way, try not to linger and extend the goodbye. It can be really hard to leave but know that your child is in good hands, and they will eventually calm down and be OK. Their teachers know what to expect and how to expertly handle those big emotions.
Have a cry if you need to
This goes for both children and parents. It’s OK to cry! Let your child cry if they need to let out their emotions, and once you get back into your car and start driving home, it’s fine for you to cry as well. Remember that you aren’t the first parent, and certainly won’t be the last, to tearfully leave their baby at preschool.
Since becoming a young mama in 2020, Steph has found joy in creating beautiful yet relatable content surrounding the raw realities of motherhood. She believes showcasing both the wonders and struggles of being a parent helps other mothers understand that they are not alone in their journey.
