“Hanky panky,” “doing the deed,” and a thousand other terms have been used to describe sex between people. And just like the creative nature we use in our vocabulary, it can be fun to add a little (or a lot) of spice to the tools you use in the bedroom.
Coming from a Catholic family, I was definitely sheltered and had a very conservative view of how I should be having sex and why. And while those beliefs are wonderful for some people, they are definitely not for everyone. After being with my husband for over a decade, I gradually learned that sex and shame don’t have to go together and this has allowed me to look at sexual experimentation with a new light.
Recently, I have been listening to sexual health educators on TikTok and watching the Netflix show How to Build a Sex Room. Both have helped me remember that not only am I a mom, but I am also a woman who deserves to explore and enjoy her sexuality with a consenting partner. Luckily, I have a husband who is up to try everything once. Here are 10 sex toys and products that have taken our sex lives to a whole other level.
1. Sex Swings
Not to bash missionary, but when you add in new angles with your partner it can definitely take things to a new and exciting level. Beginners who want to try something like a sex swing without investing can even use a yoga swing for a similar effect. Bonus: you can actually use it for exercise and work on your flexibility—and your kids will be none-the-wiser.
Beginners who want to try something like a sex swing without investing can use a yoga swing for a similar effect. Pro-tip: you can actually use it for exercise and work on your flexibility as well.
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2. Hard Points & Bondage Rope
One thing I learned from How to Build a Sex Room is that almost every bedroom or sex room needs a few sets of hard points and some rope. Hard points can be used to hang sex swings from or can be used for bondage. Whether you are an expert or beginner, having a nice selection of hard points in your room can open up your romantic life to a world of possibilities. Make sure to have safe words, learn from an expert, and have safety precautions like keeping a pair of sharp scissors nearby in case the rope needs to be cut for safety.
3. Under the Bed Restraints
We’ve pretty much all tried or at least heard about using handcuffs in the bedroom, but have you and your partner dabbled with other restraints? An under the bed set up is perfect for parents who desire a little extra spice in the bedroom, but is still pretty easy to conceal with pillows and blankets if needed. This set is extremely affordable and wonderful for beginners to try something new.
4. Massage Candles
I first heard about massage candles on TikTok and was immediately intrigued by the idea. I love that certain candles have ingredients that make it safe to still kiss your partner’s body that you rubbed down, making it a sensual addition to your foreplay arsenal. It takes about 15 minutes for the wax to warm up, but as always, you should read the directions thoroughly and make sure that the temperature is cool enough for your body.
5. Sex Couch
Furniture like a sex couch can be a simple way to spice up intimacy in a relationship. Having a dedicated piece of furniture can inspire more creativity and make the whole experience more comfortable than using throw pillows or nearby chairs (but those can totally work too!).
6. Position Assist Strap
Sometimes it can be difficult to find the right rear angle that is comfortable during sex. This strap fits under your pelvis and allows your penetrating partner to pull you up for deeper angles that you both can enjoy.
7. Inflatable Wedge
A more affordable option to an array of furniture for sex is an inflatable sex bench that you can use while in bed or on the floor to achieve new angles without stacking several pillows precariously.
8. Mirror Tiles
As moms, it can sometimes be difficult to look at our ever-changing bodies and see ourselves as sexy, but just like most things in life, you can build your confidence with a little practice. Try adding mirrors to your bedroom ceiling or walls in strategic places so you can look at you and your partner from every angle.
9. Quality Lube
Whether you are interested in trying out some new and exciting toys in the bedroom or just want to enhance your love life, the one thing you cannot forget to include is quality lube. With hormone changes, exhaustion, and a dozen other things that can ruin the mood, having a go-to array of lubes can make it easier to 1. get in the mood, 2. feel pleasure, and 3. make it easier to try new toys.
From women-owned brand Good Clean Love, this organic, water-based lube is safe for sex, condom-use, and sex toys.
So-Low Lotion is an excellent lube for male partners. It starts off as a cream but then turns into a gliding lotion that is coconut oil-based so it will leave your skin feeling soft and nourished after use.
Flavored lube now comes in a wide array of flavors that can really enhance the overall experience for both partners. This one from Adam & Eve comes in Apple, Caramel, Cherry, Peach, and Strawberry.
10. Audio Erotica App
Quin is an app for audio erotica where you can purchase monthly or yearly subscriptions. Whether you are into some inspiration for solo sessions or added spice to a night with your person, it is an amazing addition to your sex life. What I love about this app is that it was created by women for women, which can make the material much easier to fall into the fantasy than porn created for the male gaze.