For kids, going back to school means new beginnings—a classroom full of potential new friends, fresh school supplies, and a new pair of sneakers. But for my fellow moms, back-to-school means more emotional and domestic labor. Not only are we feeling both excited and sentimental about a new school year, but we’re also finishing all the tasks that need to get done. We’re brainstorming school lunches, answering teacher emails, signing up for extracurriculars, downloading new school and sports apps. It’s enough to make even the most organized mom’s head spin.
So if you’re feeling inundated by school apps and emails, you’re not alone. Here’s how to cope with the increased digital burden, avoid digital burnout, and still keep your sanity.
Are school emails and apps causing you digital burnout?
Digital burnout is marked by anxiety, exhaustion, and apathy due to spending too much time on digital devices, like phones. The digital burden usually falls to the default parent. The one likely already tapped out when it comes to their to-do list.
Not sure if you’re the default parent? Ask yourself who the school calls if your kid is sick or forgot their lunch. If you’re the parent fielding those calls, then you’re the default parent.
And it starts weeks before school even kicks off. For my kids’ last week of summer, I envisioned slow mornings, sunny afternoons spent poolside, and unhurried bedtime routines. Instead, I was glued to my phone, awaiting teacher assignments and volunteer opportunities. (I’m not sure about your kids’ schools, but the room parent competition at our school is fierce.)
This only gets worse as school starts. I’m left fielding weekly emails from the school, one each from their respective teachers, plus various volunteer needs from their school’s PTO. Do I love that the school and teachers are communicative? Yes. Is it a lot of extra work for me? Also, yes.
With parents already using their smartphones for an average of four hours per day and checking their phones about 60 times a day, this increased digital burden of back to school can exacerbate this issue.
Earlier this week, I was feeling completely overwhelmed with everything I was doing to get my two boys ready for school. So, I made a list of what I had already done and what still needed to be done.
My to-dos included: download the bus tracker app, download the parent square app, sign up for my kindergartner’s staggered start day, sign up to be room mom for both kids’ classrooms, look up teachers’ Amazon wish lists and order a few items, print and complete necessary paperwork, download the district calendar and upload to my shared Google calendar with my husband, plus sync with our Skylight calendar.
That’s not to mention checking the school’s Facebook page, the PTO’s Facebook page, and reading the emails from the PTO and each kid’s teacher. It was a lot and will only get worse as the school year progresses. So here’s how I’m curbing digital burnout while staying connected and keeping my kids (and myself) on track.
Set times to be online
In today’s perpetually connected world, it can be hard to step away and embrace being disconnected. But this year, that’s exactly what I’m going to do. My goal is to set morning “office hours,” during which I check emails, fill out paperwork, manage signups, volunteer work, and appointments.
Responding to emails within 24 hours seems reasonable to me. Once I’m done catching up, I can focus on other things, like my freelance writing or working out. Maybe I can even relax—at least until the kids get home from school.
Streamline your inbox
One study found that the average parent receives four emails related to their children per day. This translates into roughly 80 emails per month. It’s a daunting task considering most parents have about 2,000 unread emails in their inbox at any given time.
“One study found that the average parent receives four emails related to their children per day.”
But there are some tools to streamline the process. Yahoo! offers an AI-powered inbox that summarizes emails, groups them accordingly, and simplifies your inbox. Gmail does the same thing separating emails into categories (primary, social, promotions, updates, and forums), so you can more easily read pressing emails and ignore the rest. Additionally, creating a family email address for anything kid-related will free up your personal inbox, so important items don’t get lost among those 2,000 unread emails.
Be intentional about volunteering
Someone once told me you have to say ‘no’ to some things to protect the things you’ve already said ‘yes’ to. It’s been advice I’ve used consistently since becoming a mom.
“You have to say ‘no’ to some things to protect the things you’ve already said ‘yes’ to.”
I don’t sign up for every PTO committee. However, I make it a point to sign up for room parent for each of my kids’ classrooms. That way, my involvement is manageable. I almost always get to see my kids when volunteering.
When it comes to extracurriculars, I either sign them up for those right after school or sign them both up for the same sport. It works for their ages and interests right now, so practices are relatively streamlined. This also keeps emails and apps to a minimum.
With a husband who works full-time and travels two to three weeks a month, it’s kind of a given that I’m the default parent. But just because he’s not physically here doesn’t mean he can’t share the digital burden.
This year, he also downloaded the necessary apps, so I have some backup. He’s done a great job staying on top of things thus far. For example, he read the emails about our kids’ teacher assignments before I did and texted me excitedly to check my email.
Cut unnecessary to-dos
I was venting about the back-to-school rush to one of my close neighborhood friends, who happens to be from Europe. When I was talking to her about room mom signup, what extracurriculars we were doing, and all the various apps we had to download, she said to me, “Americans do too much!” And while she laughed and apologized if it offended me, I had to agree.
Do my kids need a backup pair of back-to-school shoes or do they need every school night filled with a different extracurricular? Probably not. Do I need to look at social media to see whose kids were assigned which teacher to see if they have any friends in their class? Also, no. I’ve learned to cross some things off my to-do list preemptively this school year to ease the digital burden, and it’s made all the difference.
With two kids in full-time school for the first time, this school year means more free time for me. But I need to actively manage my time so it doesn’t get eaten up by emails, apps, group texts, and the like. That’s why I’m taking steps to ease the digital burden and truly enjoy what (little) free time I’ll have. And if I miss a few emails or signups in the process? That’s OK, too.
Rachel Morgan Cautero
Rachel is a full-time freelance writer based in Ponte Vedra, Florida. When she’s not busy wrangling a toddler, preschooler, and one very stubborn French bulldog, she’s writing on all things personal finance and parenting. Her work has appeared in The Atlantic, Forbes, Parents, The Balance, Yahoo Finance, Truly Mama, SmartAsset, HerMoney, and DailyWorth.
