My youngest is usually eager to share the highlights of her day at preschool and daycare—she tells me who needed a Band-Aid, who got in trouble, or who peed their pants. But when it comes to digging a little bit deeper for details about their day, especially with my older school-age child, my kids usually need a little coaxing. Even though I’m so excited to talk to them after pick-up, often the car ride home from school and daycare is pretty quiet as they eat their snacks and decompress. It’s easy to ask my children the question, “How was school?” However, it’s usually met with one-word answers that don’t keep the conversation going.
I get it. They’ve been around other people all day and probably want a little time to be by themselves. I’ve found the best information usually comes out later at dinnertime or as we snuggle before bed. As parents, I think we’re so eager to hear about their days because we’ve missed them (of course), but we really want to quiet our own underlying worries when our kids aren’t in our care. We want to know whether they felt safe, were happy, acted like a good friend, and were treated as a good friend by their peers. Plus, it’s fun to get a peek into their new experiences and new learnings.
To help, we pulled together a list of 45 questions to ask your child instead of “How was school?” Check out these conversation starters below!
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How to use these questions
There isn’t a formality to asking these after-school questions. Ask them when you’re in the drop-off line, when you’re running errands, or when you’re prepping dinner with the family. And rotating these questions can be helpful if your child doesn’t like being asked the same ones every day. Not only are they great conversation starters, but they’re a great way to connect with your kiddo after a long day apart. Keep scrolling for a list of questions about friendships, questions about how your child is feeling, and more.
Questions about friendships at school
1. Who made you laugh today and why?
2. Who was in your group today?
3. Who did you sit by at lunch?
4. Is there someone you want to be friends with but aren’t yet?
5. Who did you play with?
6. Was anyone sitting by themselves today? Who?
7. What do you like about “X” friends (whoever they talk about most)?
8. What’s something a friend taught you today?
9. Is there anyone in your class you would want to hang out with outside of school?
10. Did you learn something new about a classmate today?
Questions to understand how your child is feeling
11. Did anything make you feel happy today?
12. Did anything make you feel sad today?
13. Tell me about one thing you did today that made you feel proud (and why it made you feel that way).
14. Did anything make you feel worried or uncomfortable today?
15. What’s one thing that would make you feel better/excited about school tomorrow?
16. Was there something you excelled at today that made you feel confident?
17. What is one thing you thought today but didn’t say out loud?
Questions about what your child learned today
18. Tell me something you know today that you didn’t know yesterday.
19. What do you wish you had learned today?
20. Can you teach me a song you sang?
21. Tell me about a story you read/listened to.
22. Describe something you saw outside today. I will try to guess what it was.
23. What was the most challenging thing you did today?
24. Was there something you learned today that you still feel confused about?
25. What’s a question you asked in class today?
26. Did you try anything new today?
27. What’s something you did or learned today that you’ll remember for a long time?
28. Are there any new programs or school electives you want to participate in?
29. Did you have story time today? What was the story about?
30. Was there something you didn’t like learning about today?
31. Was there a subject you wanted to spend more time talking about in class? Why so?
Questions about classroom dynamics
32. What made your teacher smile today?
33. Did you talk to anyone new at school?
34. Did you see anyone being kind/unkind today?
35. What was the most surprising thing that happened today?
36. Did you see somebody who needed help today? What happened?
37. What would you change about today if you could?
38. What games did you play at recess?
39. Who was the line leader today?
40. What did you create today?
41. Tell me about one thing you did today that you didn’t enjoy.
42. What was the first thing you did in class this morning?
43. What was the last thing you learned about in class today?
44. Tell me about XX (insert subject your child’s teacher has shared with you).
45. What are you most looking forward to tomorrow?
Asking your child, “How was school?” may be the easy option, especially if 45 questions seem like a lot. However, many of my mom friends just use two simple questions every day: what was your favorite part of the day, and what was your least favorite part of the day? Otherwise known as the good and the bad, the high and the low, or the rose and the thorn. The answers will likely tell you everything you really need to know and hopefully reveal more than who peed their pants.
Kathy Sisson, Senior Editor
Kathy Sisson has been a key contributor in the editorial parenting space for eight years, not only as a full-time editor at The Everymom but previously as a freelance writer for top parenting sites, including Scary Mommy, Motherly, Parent Co., and more. As an editor at The Everymom, she has produced hundreds of articles on a range of parenting topics, reviewed dozens of family-focused products, interviewed leading experts in the children and parenting world, and created viral parenting social media content. A mom of two, she is committed to sharing the honest, helpful, and often humorous stories of motherhood.
Patty Schepel, Associate Editor
As the Associate Editor, Patty works with The Everymom’s team on pitches, creating original articles, updating existing content, photo sourcing, writing shopping product descriptions, editing freelance articles, and more. With Patty’s passion for writing, experience as a mother of two, and expertise as a pediatric nurse, she brings a thoughtful and informative perspective to The Everymom.
