In our time of consumerism and convenience, when we can click a button and receive a package on our doorstep hours later, I often wonder if we are sending the right message to our kids. This worry crops up each time weâre shopping at the mall or placing an online order, and like clockwork, every year around the fifth night of Hanukkah. Every family has its own traditions surrounding the eight days of Hanukkah. In my house, we take a moment each night to light candles on the menorah, followed by presents for the kids, who typically open a present each night. While I love the holiday joy of seeing my kidsâ faces light up upon opening a long-awaited gift, at a certain point, we inevitably cross over from celebration to expectation. Beyond the gifts, giving back during the holiday season can also be important.
A few years ago, a friend shared that one of her family traditions is a âgiving night,â during which each child chooses a cause to donate what would have otherwise been spent on a present. In search of a more balanced season, I decided to adopt this swap into my own familyâs customs. I took on the task with resolve that this small shift would be a positive one. However, I also had some skepticism. Though it would only replace one night of several, I had two young kids, ages 3 and 6, who, so far, had experienced gifts as a daily highlight of the holiday. Would I be the Grinch that stole Hanukkah?
So, if youâre needing ideas on how to give back this holiday season and spark a positive conversation with your kids, Iâm sharing how I started the âgiving nightâ tradition with my kids and how you can, too.
You May Also Like:
- Raising a Kind Kid: Itâs Not About Personality, Itâs About Practice
- 28 Creative Ideas for New Traditions to Start With Your Family
Start the conversation of giving back during the holiday season
I first planted an early seed. I told my kids about our new tradition and prompted them to start thinking about who they might want to help. They would not be opening a present that night, but they would have the opportunity to choose where to give. As soon as our conversation started, I knew we were on to something. Not only did this change embrace the charitable spirit of the holidays, but it also sparked family discussion about the many areas of the world in need of repair, the people who are working to make a difference, and how we can be a part of it.
As an extra bonus, I also discovered that adding a âgiving nightâ helped relieve some pressure off the hefty mental load of the holidays. Knowing we would be making donations, I had fewer gifts to account for on my list.
After that first year, I have never looked back. Now, three years later into this family tradition, my kids expect and even look forward to âgiving night.â They love planning where they would like to donate, and as they grow, it has become a springboard for our family to talk about and participate in charitable acts throughout the year.
Ways to give back during the holidays
Regardless of how you celebrate, there are many ways to add more giving to your family traditions. This year, among the decorating, present-wrapping, and holiday magic, here are some ideas to consider.
Swap a present for a donation
In place of one or two gifts, offer a similar value to be donated. Talk together about what matters to your kids. Depending on their age, you can discuss issues more broadly. This can include discussing people experiencing homelessness, animal welfare, food insecurity, childrenâs hospitals, and many others. You can also touch on specific organizations and their missions. Each child can choose a separate recipient, or you can decide on one as a family.
Buy a holiday gift for a child in need
Thereâs something particularly impactful about teaching kids to put themselves in someone elseâs shoes. As they start their wish lists, ask each child to include a present that they think someone their age would enjoy. Then, drop it off together at a local toy drive.
Donate groceries or time at a food pantry
As kitchens fill with the sights and aromas of our favorite seasonal foods, the holidays are a perfect time to teach children that not every family has enough to eat. Choose items together during a grocery run to bring a bag of food to your local pantry or plan a âgiving dayâ to volunteer there.
Clean out the closets
With new toys and clothes headed their way, ask kids to find gently used items that could be better appreciated by another child. In cooler climates, winter coats and accessories are much needed as the weather chills. This is also some good motivation to clean out your own coat closet as well.
Start a collection or fundraiser
Feeling really inspired by the giving spirit? Start a drive or fundraiser of your own, which can help teach kids not only how to give themselves, but also how to motivate others to join in. They can share their project with friends and family to see the impact of their efforts grow.
Where to give back as a family
While many of us have organizations we already feel connected to, when approaching a less familiar cause it can be hard to know where to start. Here are some ways to find a meaningful recipient.
Tap into your network
To find local nonprofits, such as food pantries and shelters, check with your school or town, as they likely already have vetted partnerships in your home community.
Search your neighborhood social media groups to see what others may already be involved in. Especially around the holidays, many people post toy drives, collections, or volunteer opportunities that would welcome your contributions.
Do your research
Without a personal connection, a quick internet search can lead you to a wealth of nonprofits covering any cause you and your family want to support. However, itâs important to do your research to ensure that your donations are going to a reputable organization.
Websites such as Charity Navigator offer tools to search by cause and location, as well as provide unbiased ratings. Feeding America is another helpful resource, where you can search by ZIP code to find a food bank near you. Many food banks also accept clothes and other necessary items, but itâs worth a call ahead to ask.
As âgiving nightâ has become an annual tradition in my house, I hope to instill in my kids that this is not just something we do, but also something to feel good about. If youâre adding ways to give back this holiday season to your customs this year, remind your children that their actions make a difference. No matter how you do it, making a positive impact is something to celebrate.
Emily Zicherman, Contributing Writer
Emily Zicherman is a freelance writer focused on parenting, food, and life. Her other recent work includes pieces published by Kveller, The Nosher, and Motherwell, following a career as a consumer researcher. She also writes the newsletter The Oven Window. Emily graduated from Cornell University and lives with her husband and two children in New Jersey.
