One of my favorite childhood memories involved going swimming at a local lake.
As soon as we climbed in the car wearing our swimsuits, my brother and I would begin begging our father to “Heat up the car, Daddy!” My mom would roll her eyes and sigh while he rolled up all the windows and turned the heat on full blast. By the time we made the five-minute drive to the lake we were so hot the whole family would burst out of the car and run full-speed into the water, shrieking and laughing.
My brother and I still reminisce about those hot rides to the beach, usually while our spouses stare at us with puzzled faces. As weird as it may seem to people outside our family, it’s something we did so many times that it became a tradition.
Traditions are repeated rituals that provide a sense of identity and help tell the story of your family. Recreating the same experience, whether it’s once a week or around specific events like birthdays or holidays, builds shared memories. The hope is that each time you do it you’re reminded of all the previous (hopefully happy) experiences you had doing the same thing.
We all have our own version of the hot car ride to the beach—a unique family ritual we experienced growing up. As we become parents and form our own families, we get to decide which of those to carry forward into our holiday celebrations and daily life. We also have the chance to form new traditions.
Building new traditions can be a lot of fun, so here are some ideas for meaningful every day and holiday rituals to get you started.
1. Start a happiness jar
At dinner, everyone shares the happiest moment of their day. For bonus points, you can write them all down, put them in a jar, then pull them out and read them back at the end of the month or year.
2. Have the same meal on the same day every week
We like taco Tuesdays or breakfast-for-dinner on Fridays.
3. Host a family talent show
Sing a song, do a drawing, or run the fifty-yard dash—everyone chooses a talent to showcase as you cheer each other on.
4. Have show and tell night
A familiar game to school-age children can be a great thing for the whole family. Every family member chooses one thing to bring to the dinner table and shares why it’s meaningful to them.
5. Take a daily or weekly family walk
Early in the morning or after dinner, a short walk is a great way to get out of the house for a bit of exercise and away from screens. If your kids are small, the stroller is a great option. As they grow, they’ll be excited to walk along with you.
6. Read bedtime stories
Apart from boosting their reading skills, sharing a bedtime story with a child promotes their motor skills (through learning to turn the pages) and their memory. It also improves their emotional and social development and encourages the bonding process.
7. Plan a monthly Mommy/Daddy date with each child
Choose a special morning or afternoon where they get to pick what you do to spend some one-on-one time together.
8. Choose a community service project
This is even better when done regularly, whether quarterly or annually. Returning to the same project or cause on an ongoing basis gives kids a sense of familiarity and mastery as they look forward to helping each time.
9. Deliver homemade treats to friends and neighbors
Make special stops at the local fire station, police department, or leave some out for your mail carrier. Especially this year, we can give extra thanks to essential workers.
10. Camp out in front of your Christmas tree
Keep the tree lights on, read holiday stories, and snack on holiday treats.
11. Go shopping for children and families in need
Agree on a budget and go on a “shopping spree” for gifts to donate to local organizations that support families and children who may not have as much as many of us. It’s a different experience for kids to select toys that are not for them and also helps them understand the financial value of different items and how it all adds up.
12. Plan a holiday haul pick-up from the library
Bring a small gift for the librarians who work year-round to provide resources for your community. Stock up on books for winter break, including some about holidays that are different from your own.
13. On birthdays, present your child with two envelopes
One envelope is labeled, “New Privilege”; the other, “New Responsibility.” Amidst all the fun and presents, this is an opportunity to remind your child that with age comes greater power and that with greater power comes greater responsibility.
14. Conduct birthday interviews every year for each family member
Cover the same set of topics annually, including questions like “What was your most memorable moment from the past year?” and “What are you most looking forward to in the next year?” Save everyone’s interviews in a folder and read back over them regularly to mark the passage of time.
15. Leave love notes to your kids
For the month of February leading up to Valentine’s Day, leave heart-shaped notes on children’s doors while they’re sleeping. The notes can describe something you love about them, offer encouragement, or share a fun memory about them. They’ll love seeing the notes collect over time!
Whether you choose to adopt ideas from this list or design your own, having family traditions is an important part of communicating your values to your kids. Not only that, but traditions are an effective remedy against what can sometimes feel like the daily grind of parenting. They help lift us out of ordinary life to create peaks when we feel we’ve plateaued, and memories that result from them will be treasured for years to come.
This article was originally published on November 30, 2019 and has been updated for timeliness.