There’s a rolling list of things I said I would never do before I had kids, most of which I’d take back now that I’m a parent. One statement—”I’ll never let my kids sleep in my bed”—makes it to the top. After (too) many sleepless nights walking my kid back and forth to his room *at least* once, and delirious conversations as to why he should sleep in his own bed … I’ve stopped fighting it. And despite what others may say, co-sleeping with my growing toddler works for my family, and I’m sharing why.
The independent sleep advice didn’t work for us
I kept my son in his crib until he was 3 years old. The moment he started climbing over his crib rails in the middle of the night, my husband and I decided it was finally time to transition him into a ‘big boy’ bed.
Before we officially vacated him from his crib, I did my research. I scoured the internet. I leaned on my mom friends who had already gone through this experience on how to help my toddler stay in his new bed. Excitedly, I established a routine in my head that I thought would make it easy for him (like having a nightlight change colors, indicating when he could get up). And I committed to walking him back to his room if he woke me up in the middle of the night—even if it happened more than two times.
I came to terms with my son sleeping in our bed
However, after almost a year of trying to convince my son that sleeping by himself is a good idea—and eventually, either me or my husband sleeping in his bed with him (a sleep training no-no)—I was convinced that it was, in fact, not the best thing for him or for us as parents. We were exhausted. He was cranky. Was I fixating on something that truly wasn’t worth fighting?
While the advice I researched may have been helpful for other parents and families, it just wasn’t working for us. There was this looming cloud over my head that my toddler crawling into my bed at night was wrong. Despite caring what others think, it’s what works for my family. That’s what truly matters in the end.
“Despite caring what others think, it’s what works for my family. That’s what truly matters in the end.“
Co-sleeping with our toddler works in this stage of life
I’m happy to report that I feel like I’ve gained a piece of my sanity back since my husband and I started letting our kid sleep in our bed.
I’m not (as) tired anymore
Of course, parenting can be tiring. But not having to wake up two to five times a night has been blissful. Yes, some nights I wake up to a foot in my face, but I still wake up more refreshed in the morning than I did before. I’m a better version of myself when I’ve gotten enough sleep, and my family would agree. There are instances where I’ll put him to bed, then I’ll later get up and have some personal or quality time with my husband. On the other hand, I’m thankful that his bedtime routine forces me to sleep at a decent hour, too.
My son gets better sleep
Most importantly, my son sleeps better. Mornings understandably had a cranky start with toddler meltdowns when we were forcing him to sleep in his bed alone. Plus, as a parent, I know he feels safe and secure when he’s with us.
We have one rule
If my son starts in his own bed, we have one rule. Unless it’s an emergency, he doesn’t have to wake us up to let us know he’s climbing into our bed. There have been many mornings when I wake up to him pleasantly sleeping beside me.
My kid isn’t going to be sleeping in our bed forever
With my son still young, I know this bed-sharing stage in parenthood isn’t going to last forever. One day, he’ll be coming to me, declaring he’s ready to sleep alone. When that time comes, I think it will be bittersweet. I hope when I look back, I remember the nights we fell asleep making up stories, singing songs, and him being my personal alarm clock. The day that I don’t have little fingers poking me in the face to wake up, I know I’ll somehow miss it.
Editor’s Note: The information is not intended to replace recommended professional medical advice and guidelines for co-sleeping and bed-sharing.
Patty Schepel, Editorial Assistant
As the editorial assistant, Patty works with The Everymom’s team on pitches, creating original articles, updating existing content, photo sourcing, writing shopping product descriptions, inputting freelance articles, and more. With Patty’s passion for writing, experience as a mother of two, and expertise as a pediatric nurse, she brings a thoughtful and informative perspective to The Everymom. When she’s not working, you can find her spending time with her family, training for half marathons—she ran one 16 weeks pregnant—traveling, cooking, reading a rom-com, and keeping her sourdough starter, Rose, alive.
