When your children start school, a new, large social network is opened for parents. Suddenly you have a lot of other adults to meet and interact with on a regular basis. Many of these people will end up as the parents of your kids’ close friends. Some of them may even end up becoming mom friends or family friends of your own. Since these people will likely end up as part of your life for the next several years, you’ll want to get to know them and find out who you click with. For example, if your kids are going to end up at their house, you’ll want to know if it’s a place you are comfortable with them spending time.
But how to talk to other parents at school, especially if you’re more of an introvert? The best ways to initially meet other parents at school are to attend activities and events and to be there at drop-off and pick-up times. This gives you the easiest opportunity to interact with the other parents in person. It is a natural setting to comfortably initiate conversation. The best ways to begin these chats are with neutral conversation starters that don’t set any expectations between the two people and encourage back-and-forth discussion. It’s important to be proactive about approaching others, listening actively to their responses, and asking thoughtful follow-up questions. Through easygoing chats, you can start to find other like-minded parents in your children’s school community.
Besides asking, “Which kid is yours?” here are 35 thoughtful questions to initiate conversations with other parents at school.
Conversation Starters to Talk to Other Parents at School
1. Did your family do anything fun over the weekend?
2. Have you been on any exciting vacations this year?
3. Are there any upcoming events in the area that you’re attending?
4. Have you attended any concerts this year?
5. Is your family a fan of (local sports team)?
6. What are some of your family’s favorite hobbies?
7. What’s your favorite thing to do with your free time?
8. How do your kids usually spend no-school days?
9. What do your kids do over summer break?
10. Do you have any hacks to make the morning routine easier with your kids?
11. What is your family’s evening routine like?
12. What are some of your family’s favorite holiday traditions?
13. How do your kids usually celebrate their birthdays?
14. Do you have any recommendations for good family-friendly restaurants in the area?
15. Have you tried any new restaurants lately?
16. Do you have a favorite lunch spot or coffee shop?
17. Have you read any good books lately?
18. Do you have any podcasts you would recommend?
19. What do you listen to in the car?
20. Have you watched any movies or TV shows lately that you would recommend?
21. Have you watched any movies or TV shows as a family that everyone liked?
22. Does your family have any favorite board games?
23. What apps on your phone do you use the most?
24. What are some of your family’s favorite dinner recipes?
25. Do you have any favorite spots for weeknight takeout?
26. What stores in the area do you usually shop at?
27. Does your family have any pets?
28. How long have you lived in the area?
29. Are you originally from the area?
30. When you were in (grade your kids are currently in), what were your favorite activities?
31. When you were in (grade your kids are currently in), what was your favorite subject?
32. When you were in (grade your kids are currently in), what did you think you’d be when you grew up?
33. When you were in school, how did you spend your summer and winter breaks?
34. What has been your kids’ favorite part of the school year so far?
35. What’s been the toughest part of the school year so far for your kids?
After a few conversations, you’ll be able to start determining who is a good fit for you and your family to spend more time with. The initial “getting to know you” questions then lead to deeper questions after a few conversations, and you’ll have a better idea of whether your families are in alignment.
Once you know someone enough, you can set up playdates and carpools. Having another parent you can trust to call for a ride to school in a pinch is so helpful in making all the crazy, chaotic parts of family life work. As it’s always said, your village is so important, and the other parents at school make up a helpful part of that team. Plus, you can make mom friends along the way.
