A Letter to My Firstborn Before She Becomes a Big Sister
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To my firstborn,
For nearly five years, it’s been just us. You, me and daddy. You have been the center of our world and the reason we all get up in the morning. You have been my shadow, my mini-me, and my rock. I’ve loved and savored watching you grow. But this September, just in time for your fifth birthday, things are going to change. You’re going to become a big sister.
I’m thrilled. It’s what I’ve always wanted and I can’t wait to see you step into this new role. But the truth is, I’m kind of scared.
Right now, in no small part due to pregnancy hormones, I’m riding a roller coaster of emotions. I’m feeling happy, sad, overwhelmed, excited, and confused. Here’s why:
I’m Sad to Say Good-Bye to “Just Us”
For years, it’s just been me and you against the world and I’ve loved our one-on-one moments. I’m so scared of losing some of the bond you and I have developed. I know maybe I shouldn’t be focusing on what I’m losing, rather on all the new joy I’ll gain with you and your new sibling. But it’s what’s on my mind and in my heart right now.
For the past five years, you have had my undivided attention. There’s a part of me that’s sad to say goodbye to these moments with just you, my first-born. I’ll miss enjoying our mommy-daughter time, our morning cuddles, and making a mess baking cookies.
Now, together, we’ll have to figure out a new kind of a balance. We’ll still have fun baking cookies, but more quietly as the baby sleeps. And of course we’ll still snuggle in the morning, but there will now be more of us in bed. And when we go to the park, you bet I’ll still push you on that swing, it just might be while also rocking the baby to sleep. We will still have these moments, they just might look different.
I Wonder How You’ll Feel When You Meet Your Sibling
While you are so excited about becoming a big sister, there’s a part of me that feels you don’t quite know what an enormous change this will be. And I wonder how you will react to having a new baby in the house once it actually happens.
Will you be happy? Excited? Upset? A little angry? Whatever your feelings, I will try to be with you because I understand what a big change this will be. And I want to make this transition as easy as possible for you and for us all, really.
But I can’t wait to see what kind of big sister you are. I’m already picturing the first time you meet your sibling and just the thought of it makes my heart burst. I’ve already been preparing you for this very important role and I’m ecstatic to see that you’re ready to take on the challenges. You’re excited by your new “big sister box” where you can easily access certain things for the baby to help me—such as diapers, pacifiers and wipes. I want you to be as prepared for this life-changing moment, because, well… it’s going to be a big change.
Your daddy and I can’t wait to see you take on this very important role as a big sister. I know at first it might feel overwhelming to you and might even make you a little mad or jealous, but that’s okay.
For Now, I Resolve to Soak It All In
In these next months before the baby comes along, I’m going to try even harder to be present, with plenty of moments with just me and you. I’m soaking in these last few months where it’s just you and me. Even as I write this, I’m scrunched in bed as you are sleeping sweetly next to me. I’m enjoying hearing you breathe and watching you curled up to me, because I know we won’t have these exact moments of peace with a newborn, so while I want to enjoy them as much as possible, I want you to, as well.
You, my first born, had the honor of starting our family, and your sibling will have the honor of completing it. But my dear sweet girl, I want you to know one thing that will never, ever change. And that’s how much your mommy loves you.
