"If I had a book filled with quotes from my son, I probably would have a novel by now. I’ve told myself over and over that I would someday capture all of his cute and hilarious questions, stories, and out-loud thoughts. But let’s be real, then I’d be writing down everything he says. Seriously, everything. I may be a little biased, but I think he’s a natural comedian. He’s the epitome of, “Kids say the darndest—and sweetest—things.” The cherry on top is his little voice and giggle that come with it, too. And one question that sparks many varied topics of conversation is when my kid starts asking, ‘Why?’
Does this sound familiar? Just the other day, my son asked me, “Mommy, why do flowers grow?” This one simple question started a long and winding conversation that started with flowers and ended with how his grandma is my mom. It’s because he asked ‘Why?’ over and over again, and it led us down this path of curiosity about anything and everything. Seeing him making connections to what he is learning is a wonderful thing to witness as a parent. So even though my kid asks ‘Why?’ a lot, here’s why I keep answering his questions.
When Do Kids Start Asking ‘Why?’
I can’t pinpoint exactly when my son started asking the question, ‘Why?’ You would think it was his first word with how often he asks it. Kids start asking ‘why’ typically around 2 and 3 years old. If you’re asking ‘Why?’ yourself, there is a reason why. According to Sanford Health, “Children have limited life experience,” and “in an attempt to make sense of the world they live in, your child is naturally very curious about everything.”
“Children have limited life experience… and in an attempt to make sense of the world they live in, your child is naturally very curious about everything.”
What I Do When My Kid Keeps Asking Questions
What I do remember when my kid first started asking ‘Why?’ is how often he asked it. Kids continuing to ask ‘Why?’ can feel never-ending. Sometimes, I let the ‘why’ train keep going and let it progress into a multi-topic conversation. Like the time he asked when his birthday is, which led to him asking why his Nana made him a Toy Story–themed birthday cake, which led to why people have birthday cakes, and fast forward, we ended the conversation with why Spiderman has web shooters. These conversations can feel like you’re on a wild and unpredictable roller coaster.
Other times, I turn the question around and ask him, ‘Why?’ There are moments when I have to get creative. Truly, I don’t have all day to answer all the ‘why’ questions, especially when it seems like my kid never stops talking. The Nurtured First Parenting website, a resource for approaches to parenting, gives five “practical ways to respond” when your child is so curious:
1. Answer Their Question
Answer their question. Rephrase your child’s ‘Why?’ Hear it as “Can you tell me more?”
2. Set Boundaries
As a parent, it can be exhausting to continuously answer questions. It’s OK to set boundaries and say, “Let’s take a break from questions and answer them later.”
3. Help Them Be More Curious
Turn the question around and ask your child, ‘Why?’ “Asking a question in return can help them learn critical problem-solving skills,” help them to answer their own questions, and “develop their curiosity.”
4. Figure out the Why Behind the ‘Why?’
Asking questions over and over can be a safety net for kids when they are anxious or nervous. Figuring out any “potential fear” can help in “how you approach their questions.” The Nurtured First website gives the example of saying, “I hear you asking me why we are going to Grandpa’s again; what’s up?”
5. Ask Them to Find Answers
Have your child find the answer to their question.
When I Don’t Know All the Answers
My son is still a little young, so I feel like he still needs some guidance when trying to find the answer to his questions. With that, I’ve definitely asked Apple’s voice-activated assistant, Siri, for help. It’s safe to say I don’t know the answer to everything, and I want him to know that. One day I won’t be here to help him. Whether that be going to the library (my favorite method), teaching him how to browse the internet safely, or asking an expert, I can at least show him the resources on how to find the answers.
Why I Don’t Stop My Kid From Asking ‘Why?’
There isn’t just one reason as to why I don’t stop my kid from asking ‘Why?’ When he asks ‘Why?’ it allows him to be curious, lets him know he can ask questions, and it also reminds me to continue to be curious, too.
It Allows My Child to Be Curious
The biggest reason why I don’t stop my kid from asking ‘Why?’ is because I want him to always be curious. I want him to learn about people and the world and to be open-minded and understanding about everything that—does and doesn’t—surround him.
I Want Him to Know He Can Always Ask Questions
I also want him to know that my door is always open. He can always ask me questions beyond ‘Why?’ I don’t want him to be scared to ask me for advice or what to do if he is ever in trouble. I’m here to answer his questions and help guide him if he needs it. That also means showing him how to be comfortable with asking questions when he’s at school, learning something new, or when meeting new people. I think it’s better to be curious than not at all.
It Reminds Me to Be Curious
Lastly, he’s taught me that I, too, need to continue to be curious. Continuing to ask ‘Why?’ can lead to so many new things I didn’t know before. If it weren’t for him, I wouldn’t know fun and interesting facts. I now know why Mars is red and that an Elasmosaurus was 34 feet long. It also reminds me that I still don’t know everything and seeking to understand things is always ongoing.
Patty Schepel, Editorial Assistant
As the editorial assistant, Patty works with The Everymom’s team on pitches, creating original articles, updating existing content, photo sourcing, writing shopping product descriptions, inputting freelance articles, and more. When she’s not working, you can find her spending time with her family, training for half marathons—she ran one 16 weeks pregnant—traveling, cooking, reading a rom-com, and keeping her sourdough starter, Rose, alive.