"There are a few times in life when we’re conned into believing we’re going to have a magical moment with fireworks going off and Taylor Swift’s Love Story blaring in the background. Meeting the love of your life, for one. Every single moment of your wedding day is another. And picking out the perfect baby name is supposed to come with pure bliss and absolution… right? As we all know, life isn’t a fairytale, and sometimes (most times) things like a great relationship and the baby name of our dreams aren’t handed to us on a silver platter.
Jessie of @dreambabynames on TikTok is a baby name consultant. Her job is to help expecting parents select a name for their newborn. A recent TikTok she shared has gone viral as perhaps one of the most refreshing and real truths about baby name selection out there: Sometimes, you don’t have the magical ah-ha moment, and that’s OK! Check out what she had to say about this realization. Plus, we’re sharing some of the most practical advice for expecting parents.
The Baby Naming Advice
As a baby name consultant, Jessie has experience working with a variety of families on picking a name for their new baby. In a recent video she posted, she shared a realization she recently had when in a consultation with a couple. She explained that it could either be seen as really good or really bad news, depending on how you look at it. The realization? In her words, “When naming a baby, a lot of you are looking for your Say Yes to the Dress moment. The moment that it’s undoubtedly your child’s name… It does not happen every time.”
Jessie explains that while many parents do get the lightbulb moment, not everyone does. In fact, she says for a lot of people, “You’re going to be naming your baby and never have a 100 percent certain moment.” She went on to explain in more detail when this might occur. In her experience, parents who have a lot of names they like may have a harder time narrowing down one picture perfect selection. On the other hand, she explained that parents who struggle to find any names they like are more likely to have the fireworks moment when the perfect name does come around.
Don’t Overthink It
Luckily, the baby name consultant had some words of wisdom for anyone concerned about not falling head over heels for a baby name. Her advice was simple but effective: Don’t overthink it. She went on to explain that even if the magical moment doesn’t happen, that doesn’t mean it isn’t the name for you. Empathizing with Type A personalities, she offered that maybe knowing that this decision might not just “click” is actually a good thing. In this case, the pressure is taken off, and she encourages parents to continue exploring their options and go with their gut.
What Commenters Added to Her Advice
As with any good viral video, commenters had plenty to add. Many shared solidarity with the baby name consultant’s advice. Others touched on the reality of the added challenge that is agreeing with the other parent even when you’ve found a name you love. Perhaps even more of a common occurrence? More moms experienced being 100 percent certain when picking their first baby’s name, but not #2 or #3. In addition, many shared that when picking out a boy name, they did have their ah-ha moment because there were so few they liked. On the other hand, many commenters experienced indecisiveness when it came to picking a name for a girl.
The real gems were in comments that added additional tidbits of advice for parents who may be worried about not being confident in their name selection. @gramac brilliantly added, “And when you find a name that you and your partner love, DON’T TELL ANYONE. It’s amazing how much outside influence can put people off using a name. If you love it, that’s all that matters!”
Another mom provided a glimmer of hope. She touched on her experience never having baby name certainty and where she is now with a 7-month-old. @klarisa.gonzales shared, “I didn’t experience that ‘say yes to the dress’ moment with my son however he’s now 7 months old and his personality is shining through and I’m finding myself really enjoying his name now.” Bottom line? There’s always hope they’ll grow into the name!
What to Do if You Can’t Decide On a Baby Name
I must say, this baby name consultant’s advice of not overthinking it is about as solid as it gets. As someone who can be highly indecisive, I know that not having an ah-ha moment may send me spiraling. However, hearing her perspective, as well as that of other moms in the comments, is very reassuring. Still, as time is ticking, it can be an uneasy feeling not being sure what name to give a newborn. If you find yourself in this conundrum, consider doing the following:
1. Seek Out Inspiration
While it may be possible for some, a name won’t fall out of thin air for most of us. In that case, it helps to see some options to narrow down what we like and don’t like. Try some of these avenues for exploring potential baby names:
- Check out the Social Security Administration’s top 1,000 baby names of the previous year. This will also help you consider how you feel about giving your baby a popular name.
- Pick a theme. Having a theme in mind that’s important to you can make the baby name selection process much easier. Whether you love the idea of a nature-inspired baby name, pop culture baby names, or celestial names, knowing this is a great start.
- Take a peek into your family tree. Whether or not you want to use a family name could be a very easy or a very difficult decision. Either way, perusing your family tree may open your eyes to some unexpected inspiration.
- Check out a book of baby names. The classic route!
- Take an online quiz. There are plenty of options of online quizzes you can take that will ask your preferences and give you thought starters from there.
2. Consider What’s Important to You
If the perfect name isn’t just coming to you, take the time to really think about what you want and don’t want. Consider how you feel about long names versus short names, the pros and cons of giving baby a nickname, if there’s a certain virtue you want the name to embody, or if popularity is a factor one way or the other. Also think about if there are any special places for you or you and your partner you might want to draw inspiration from (place names are always a meaningful go-to!).
3. Know That it is Potentially Reversible
It may be news to some, but if, after naming your newborn, you experience serious baby name regret, in most states you can actually change the name within the first year. While this may not be the most desirable route to take, it does take some pressure off of the big decision.
4. Wait Until You Meet Them
Consider having a narrowed-down list of baby name favorites and then wait until you officially “meet” your baby to see which one seems right. Some parents have a name picked out, then once they see their baby, decide on something completely different. Sure, you won’t have the monogrammed baby blanket or custom name sign for hospital photos, but you can always use a blank sign, letter board, or take newborn photos at home.
5. Again, Don’t Overthink It
Our baby name consultant’s advice really did hit the nail on the head with this one. While it may be the most difficult thing to do, it may also be the most important. Remember the story of the commenter who shared that her 7-month-old was really growing into the name that she chose. And, odds are, even if you aren’t over the moon for the name right away, you likely will be for your baby. That alone will be enough to make any name pure magic in your eyes.
Brett Nicole Hayden, Assistant Editor
As the Assistant Editor, Brett works with the editors of The Everymom on the content creation process by updating stories, sourcing images and graphics, and pitching and contributing her own articles. Her favorite topics to write about are culture, relationships, and living. She’s also The Everymom’s resident baby names and family movies expert!