"Multigenerational trips, AKA traveling with both your kids and your parents, have been a growing trend for the past few years that shows no signs of slowing down. Nearly half of respondents in a recent survey conducted by Beaches Resorts said they were prioritizing multigen travel over solo family vacations, and USA Today reported that one in five travelers took a multigenerational trip last year.
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Traveling with kids and grandparents can be both challenging and rewarding. There are extra hands that can help with the kids, but balancing different interests—and bedtimes—can add additional stress to the situation. There’s pressure to ensure everyone, regardless of age, has a good time.
Since my girls were born, I’ve been on seven of these multigenerational trips. In addition to grandparents, they’ve included cousins, aunts, and uncles, so it’s been a group of 10+ people each time.
One of the trends for these multigenerational trips is to take a “trip of a lifetime,” which for many can mean traveling overseas. While we haven’t traveled far yet—at most a few hours in the car to the beach or mountains (our first multi-gen cross-country trip is planned for this summer)—I’ve still learned some lessons about family travel along the way. These have helped all of us enjoy our time together more.
Read More: 10 Amazing Destinations for Multigenerational Family Vacations
Communicate your vision for the trip
One of the biggest things you can do before taking a trip together is to sit down and discuss what you all want to get out of it. How much time, if any, do the grandparents want alone time with the kids? Do you want the trip to be go go go with activities or super relaxed? How strict do you want to be with your kids’ nap and bedtime schedules? Is there a particular thing you want to do or eat or see that you’d be crushed if it doesn’t happen?
Different people inherently will have different visions for how they see the vacation going, and everyone has an opinion (whether they admit it or not). Not understanding what’s important to everyone beforehand can lead to what could have been avoidable arguments or hurt feelings on the trip, which is not how you want to spend your time together.
Know that you don’t have to be together all the time
One of the best things my mom did for our multigenerational vacations was to declare up front that she did not expect us to spend every minute together. When we arrive, we typically discuss what will be considered an ‘all call’ event, but otherwise, each family is free to do what they want. For us, ‘all calls’ are usually dinner each evening and an activity or two during the week.
Oftentimes, we’ll end up doing the same activity even if it isn’t one of our planned ‘all-calls,’ but it takes the pressure off feeling like we have to be together all the time. Forcing a large group of people with different interests and needs to do the same thing the entire time is more likely to end up with bickering, so this is a great way to make sure everyone gets time together without going nuts.
Don’t overplan, but make sure you have reservations squared away
Corralling a large group of people is tough, especially when there are different age groups and needs. I’ve found that our multigenerational trips function best when there is no more than one activity planned for the day. Feeling rushed to try to get everyone somewhere on time multiple times a day just leads to extra stress, and downtime is crucial for everyone.
On a recent vacation to Myrtle Beach with my husband’s family, this meant visiting the aquarium in the morning but staying by the pool in the afternoon one day. Another day we just spent between the beach and pool with no planned activity.
That said, do plan ahead for things like where the group is going to dine, as it can be challenging to walk in with a larger group, especially when you’re in a well-visited location. Most restaurants will let you book at least a month in advance, and the earlier you look for group reservations, the more options you’ll have.
Make sure everyone has their own space
You don’t want to feel like you’re on top of everyone or like you can’t retreat to somewhere quiet when you need a breather while you’re on a multigenerational trip. As much as you love your family or in-laws, you’ll still need a break at some point.
If you’ll be renting a house somewhere, look for options that have large common areas that your group can fit comfortably in and options where every family has their own room and ideally bathroom. Privacy is important, and you’re probably not used to sharing a bathroom with anyone, especially your in-laws. This is not the time to start.
If you’re planning on staying at a hotel or resort, consider whether you need adjoining rooms or if just being on the same floor together is good enough.
Be mindful that grandparents aren’t there to be babysitters
Taking a multigenerational trip is great because it means more hands to help with the kids, but it doesn’t mean that grandparents will be taking over parenting duties completely or acting as a babysitter the whole time.
Make it part of your vision-setting conversation to understand what level of involvement they want to have and whether they want to have solo time with the kids to do an activity together. If you do want to have a date night or would love a morning off during your time together, it’s OK to ask, but understand the answer might be no.
Make sure your expectations are realistic
No matter how much you’ve planned, the trip will not be perfect. Someone is bound to have a meltdown, and there’s a high chance there will be a disagreement or two. That’s just what happens when you get different generations with different ways of doing things together. Going into your vacation knowing that the trip will likely be both amazing and not-so-much at times can help offset any feelings of disappointment and help ensure you still have a great time.
Give yourself grace. Acknowledge the hard work and effort that goes into making a multigenerational trip happen and know that it will still be a great vacation even with a hiccup or two.
Multigenerational trips are a great way to make memories in a new location with your family and a great way for everyone to deepen their relationship. Take lots of pictures and remember to relish the time together.
Elliott Harrell, Contributing Writer
Elliott is a mom of two little girls and is based in Raleigh, NC. She spends her days running a sales team and doing laundry and her nights writing about the things that she loves. She’s passionate about all things motherhood and women’s health. When she’s not working, writing or parenting you can find her trying a new restaurant in town or working on her latest needlepoint project.