Girl Dads Take Note: The Best Advice Adult Daughters Learned From Their Fathers

The bonds between a daughter and her dad aren’t only adorable to witness. Research has shown that strong dad-daughter bonds can improve girls’ mental health and combat feelings of loneliness as they grow. For me, I always looked to my dad as a sage of sorts, asking for advice on everything from school papers to career challenges. He was confident, funny, and held strong values that he passed on to me.

Of course, I’m not alone in gleaning life advice from my father. With so many daughters on The Everygirl Media Group team, I knew there was more dad wisdom to be gained, so I asked: What’s the best advice you got from your dad? And the dads delivered. In honor of Father’s Day, keep reading for the heartfelt advice and wisdom these dads and father figures passed on to their daughters that they still use in adulthood.

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Love is in the details

“My dad was always noticing, always paying attention. He made sure to listen to the little things, the things I’d mention in passing, and he’d bookmark them for later. My dad knew what my favorite color was, no matter how many times it changed, my preferred toys, and he took an interest in all my different hobbies. He made me feel seen and loved in all the big and little ways, like picking me up from my mom’s with the cookies and cream Hershey bar he knew I loved. And he taught me never to accept anything less than that level of thoughtfulness when picking my partner and father for my kids, and to do the same for them.”—Steph, Senior Branded Content Editor, advice from her dad, Sal

Say it first, say it loudest

“I come from a big and boisterous family, and my grandpa always said, ‘Say it first and say it loudest… and worry about whether you’re right later.’ He was an ‘Ad Man’ in the 1960s and gave this advice to all six of his children—five sons and one daughter—and it trickled down from my dad to me. I’m a more soft-spoken introvert than a lot of my family, so my grandpa’s advice has been an inner pep talk I’ve carried with me in my career and beyond. Not only did it give me insight into my male coworkers’ mindset—how they seem undeterred by worry about being wrong or unqualified. I also knew if I didn’t speak up, I was never going to be heard.”—Kathy, Senior Editor, advice from her grandfather, Reid

Fear comes from what we don’t yet understand

“When I was in fifth grade, my family took a trip to Maine to go whale watching. The whales were massive (obviously) and swam so close to our tiny boat that I was completely terrified. When we got home, my dad told me that when he’s afraid of something, it usually helps him to learn more about it. That year, I did every research project I could on whales—and somewhere along the way, my fear turned into fascination. They’re now my favorite animal. My dad has always been open-minded, and to this day, I remind myself that fear often comes from what we don’t yet understand.”—Paige, Branded Content Editor, advice from her dad, David

Nobody’s fault, call me

“When I was in middle school, my dad told me the same thing he told my sisters when they were in high school: ‘Your fault, my fault, nobody’s fault, call me.’ This was his way of saying, no matter what, you can always call me, and you won’t be in trouble. This became so ingrained in our family’s culture that by the time I hit high school, I recited it every time I left the house.

When police broke up my first real high school party, everyone scrambled to get into cars and figure out what to do. I found a pay phone, and I called my dad—it was the ’90s. He came and picked me and my friends up—no lecture, no questions asked. He just wanted to make sure we were always safe.

For my whole high school career and after, I always took that to heart. I could always call on my dad and not worry about getting in trouble; I just worried about being safe and that he would know what to do. I found out recently it was actually a quote from an old John Wayne movie that didn’t apply at all to the situation. He liked the sound of it and appropriated it to his parenting lesson. I now tell my 8-year-old son—’your fault, my fault, nobody’s fault, you come to me.’ He knows that means whatever I do, whatever I see online, whatever mistake I make, mom is my safe place.”—Roberta, Editor-in-Chief, advice from her dad, Luiz

Only you define your worth

“A girl dad to three daughters, my dad is an acts-of-service guy—changing our oil, checking tire pressure, building furniture, helping with taxes. Rather than giving a lot of advice, he gave us space to learn and mess up, stepping in only when we truly needed a gentle nudge back on track. So when he did offer advice, we listened. At 17, after a breakup with my high school sweetheart that I was unwilling to get over (shoutout to my ex), my dad took me on a long drive to offer some perspective.

What he told me that day has stuck with me ever since, and it’s something I wish every daughter could hear from her dad: Your worth is never defined by the person you are dating or with. I’ve carried that with me into every relationship since (and they’ve been a lot healthier since because of it), knowing that with or without the other person, I’ll be okay—as long as I value myself.”—Cassandra, Social Media Editor, about her dad, Tom

Love is a verb

“Growing up, my dad worked a lot. But he always made time for a once-a-month outing we did together through a YMCA organization that was basically the daddy-daughter version of Girl Scouts (now known as Adventure Princesses). Outside of family vacations, they’re my core childhood memories with my dad. He was busy and had three other sons, but I think he wanted to make sure we had a positive father-daughter relationship that set a strong base for our bond as I grew up. He was a little bit old-school and didn’t say ‘I love you’ very often, but I always felt it.”—Kathy, Senior Editor, advice from her dad, Mark

Always be an upgrade

“My dad has taught me a lot throughout the years, but I’ve learned more through his actions than spoken advice (“Your actions speak louder than words” kind of guy). I always observed how he did things—he never let anything hold him back. My dad has always pushed my siblings and me to grow in every aspect of our lives, whether it be in our careers, as a person, or as a parent. When I asked my dad what advice he would give his daughter today as an adult, it’s really sweet that he’s observant of me, too. He said, ‘Be an upgrade of who we’ve been. But looks like our roles have reversed. Now I’m learning from you. I wish I had learned how to be a parent from you back then. I’m really proud of who you have become.'”—Patty, Editorial Assistant, about her dad, Glenn

Never stop learning

“My dad modeled optimism and curiosity about the world. As his daughter, I always watched him ask people’s names and listen to their stories (he always used the waiter’s name at restaurants, even if it embarrassed me). A history buff and avid reader, he loved knowing a little about a lot of things, and I think it connected him to the world in a way I hope to emulate.”—Kathy, Senior Editor, advice from her dad, Mark

Life is about the journey

“My dad taught me a million things, but one overarching one that sticks out to me is that life is often more about the journey than the destination. When my siblings and I complained about long car rides for vacation, he made them as fun as possible by making stops along the way to add to our adventure. He taught me that the process of digging through junk in an antique store or DIY-ing something yourself is much more gratifying than just going to the store to buy a new one—which is definitely where my love of thrifting was born.

He taught me to be kind to strangers because you never know what someone is going through. And perhaps most importantly, he taught me that life is about living. He always encouraged me to do that next big thing, because money comes back, but time and experience don’t.”—Jessica, Senior Commerce Editor, advice from her dad, Dennis

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Kathy Sisson, Senior Editor

Kathy Sisson has been a key contributor in the editorial parenting space for nearly a decade, not only as a full-time editor at The Everymom but previously as a freelance writer for top parenting sites, including Scary Mommy, Motherly, Parent Co., and more. As an editor at The Everymom, she has produced hundreds of articles on a range of parenting topics, reviewed dozens of family-focused products, interviewed leading experts in the children and parenting world, and created viral parenting social media content. A mom of two, she is committed to sharing the honest, helpful, and often humorous stories of motherhood.

READ KATHY’S FULL BIO

Feature images credited to: Steph Alleva Cornell, Roberta Correia, and Kathy Sisson.