"Parenthood forces us to confront a lot of big decisions. Things like deciding whether or not to find out the sex of your baby may coincide with choosing a color for the nursery walls. Then perhaps the toughest choice of all: picking a baby name. Even if you’ve had a growing list of baby names in your notes app since you were 19 years old (it’s me, hi…), that doesn’t mean the baby name selection process will be easy. With so many names out there and creativity in the moniker department at an all-time high, it may be difficult to narrow the options down. Plus, even those of us who only have one name in mind may meet baby and realize they don’t fit the name at all and have to start over altogether.
One mom on Reddit shared her experience with a baby name debacle, and her story is totally relatable. After struggling to nail down her options, she and her husband fell in love with one name—that is, until another less common option was thrown into the mix. With two options she loved, a new baby, and plenty of postpartum hormones, she wondered if she was experiencing baby name regret and needed support. Read on for her story on potential baby name regret and how others responded.
One Mom’s Experience with Possible Baby Name Regret
If you’re unfamiliar, Reddit is a platform where few topics are off-limits. You’ll find everything from wild conspiracy theory chains to lively debates on the best places to find gelato in Columbus, Ohio, and beyond. But perhaps the best thing to come from Reddit are totally relatable questions and chains offering insights and support.
One mom recently took to Reddit over a situation many have been in before: possible baby name regret. She explained that she and her husband struggled up until their baby’s birth with selecting the perfect baby name. The only name they could agree on loving “100 percent” was Emma, but she questioned the popularity of that particular choice. Explaining that the only other choice she strongly considered was Palmer, she shared that she loved the uniqueness of the title and the association they have as a couple to Palmer, Arkansas.
She and her husband agreed that upon meeting their baby, she felt more like an Emma than a Palmer. They paired the moniker with the middle name of Lucille, a name her husband adored. Now, while in the postpartum period, she shared, she’s beginning to question the decision. Worried about how common the name is, she looked for guidance from other Reddit responders seeking affirmation of their name choice. And, in general, what they had to share was quite remarkable.
Supportive Comments on the Postpartum Phase
One aspect of the Reddit inquiry that stood out to many respondents was that she was one week postpartum. Many who have welcomed a little one may understand how emotional this period in one’s life can be. A scroll through the comment section is met with solidarity on just that, as many commenters explained that hormones may be playing into the emotions the mom who posted is feeling.
Many commenters agreed that their own hormones caused them to question or get emotional over things they normally wouldn’t have. Refreshingly, several respondents encouraged the new mom to give herself grace during this time. User Go-Mellistic shared, “Mama, don’t underestimate the role of hormones and sleep deprivation on your thinking. Maybe this is one to set down for now and see how you feel in a few months. Take care!” Another, Wavesmith added, “… It’s entirely normal to feel a little crazy one week post partum! It sucks but buckle up and it will be over soon.”
Maybe what’s to love most about the comment section is this wave of support. The mom even edited her original post to add to this part of the conversation, “I definitely feel so much better about her name after reading all your comments. Post partum is hard, and I guess being a second time mom doesn’t change that.”
Is Baby Name Regret a Sign of PPD?
While the mom who posted that she was experiencing potential baby name regret did not mention personally experiencing postpartum depression (PPD), sometimes the two topics could be related. One commenter—Connect_Guide_7546—explained that the postpartum phase, in general, can cause new moms to fixate on certain subjects and suggested trying to find new things to take her mind off of baby name regret. They went on to suggest talking to a doctor about PPD if the obsessive thoughts become too much.
A little digging suggests that postpartum depression can amplify feelings of baby name regret. Sources suggest that if regretting a baby name choice affects one’s ability to bond with their baby, that may be a sign of postpartum depression. In this case, it’s important to seek professional help.
Editor’s Note: Postpartum anxiety and depression can feel isolating, but you shouldn’t have to feel as though you’re going through it alone. Please reach out to your doctor, a therapist, or another trusted professional for support. If you are experiencing suicidal thoughts or actions, please get help immediately.
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: call or text 988
Crisis Textline: text CONNECT to 741741
Is Choosing a Popular Baby Name Bad?
Along with an all but unanimous agreement over the love for the name Emma, commenters also aimed to reassure the new mom that having a “common name” isn’t what it used to be. User Beepbooplesnoot pointed out, “… There are really so few of even the popular names! It’s not like being Jennifer in the 80’s.” Others explain that there are far more names in circulation now than there used to be, meaning even the popular names will be less common than expected.
On top of that, other commenters noted the importance of choosing a name you love regardless of the popularity implications. For example, user Beeslyhalpert13 said, “Name popularity is not that big of a deal, and it’s more important to choose a name you both absolutely love than a less popular name you both kind of love.” Now that’s something we can all agree on: The perfect baby name is the one both parents love no matter what.
When Changing Baby’s Name is Necessary
In the case of this Reddit thread, the new mom seemed to have resolved her internal conflict and agreed that the name she and her husband chose was the right name for them. However, that’s not always the case. In fact, one study suggests that nearly one in 10 moms end up regretting their baby name choice, and some even go so far as to change it. Reality TV fans may remember when Kylie Jenner and Travis Scott changed their youngest child’s name from Wolf to Aire, stating that it “just didn’t feel like it was him.”
So, what can you do if the nagging feeling that you made a mistake doesn’t go away after the postpartum phase passes? One of the easiest options is to consider using a nickname instead of their legal name. For example, users in the the Reddit thread suggested using a variation of baby Emma’s middle name Lucille by calling her Lucy.
If you want to legally change the name, depending on the state, parents can typically change their little one’s name within six months to one year. This usually involves getting in contact with the Office of Vital Records, and may or may not require a court order and a fee. While there are a few hoops to jump through, it may be reassuring to some to know that this is an option.
So, what did this Reddit user ultimately decide for her baby’s name? For now, she wrote, “I’m sticking with my Emma Lu! 🩷”
Brett Nicole Hayden, Assistant Editor
As the Assistant Editor, Brett works with the editors of The Everymom on the content creation process by updating stories, sourcing images and graphics, and pitching and contributing her own articles. Her favorite topics to write about are culture, relationships, and living. She’s also The Everymom’s resident baby names and family movies expert!