I know I’m not the only one who’s planned an ‘after the kids go to bed’ date night with their spouse to accidentally fall asleep in the middle of bedtime stories with the kids. In this busy season of life—juggling work schedules, kids’ activities, and running a household together—finding connection and putting my relationship with my husband at the forefront can oftentimes slip through the cracks these days. As a couple, we’re constantly trying to figure out new ways to strengthen our relationship. With the New Year coming up and the topic of resolutions in our midst, I’m on a mission to find relationship New Year’s resolutions to make with my partner that will actually stick.
So, I reached out to a couples therapist, Founder and Clinical Director of Manhattan Wellness, Jennifer Teplin, for advice for couples who want to incorporate New Year’s relationship resolutions. She’s spilling the tea on the top relationship challenges couples face after having kids, practical resolutions to make together, how to make goals last, and more.
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Jennifer Teplin, LCSW, Founder and Clinical Director of Manhattan Wellness
Featured on OPRAH, Cosmopolitan, Bumble, Huffington Post, and more, founder and Clinical Director of Manhattan Wellness, Jennifer Teplin, uses her clinical expertise and highly impactful relationship-building skills to transform what it means to go to therapy.
Top challenges couples face after having kids
With little humans added into the mix, most days start off with a quick “good morning” followed up with planning out the day. This includes discussing who has early meetings, who’s taking the kids to school, and a quick game of rock-paper-scissors on who’s making lunches and who’s starting breakfast. With that said, managing a family together can oftentimes feel like a business transaction. And for some couples, finding some type of balance (or lack thereof) in the invisible labor takes a toll on a relationship, too. So, it’s no surprise that Teplin revealed that the top reasons why couples with kids seek her expertise are because they feel more like friends rather than intimate partners and have resentment towards one another when work and labor feel uneven.
The benefit of making New Year’s resolutions with your partner
Like individual resolutions, Teplin shares that making your relationship with one another a priority is just as important. It ensures that your partnership doesn’t get left behind. “When couples set goals and intentions together, they’re less likely to feel disconnected,” states Teplin. And as a therapist, Teplin sees a positive benefit of making relationship New Year’s resolutions with your spouse or partner, too. When couples make goals and resolutions, she says, they tend to focus more on their relationship overall.
How to start the conversation
Wanting to fix or improve areas in a relationship may not always be welcomed with open arms at first. Teplin brings up that open and honest communication are vital whenever problems arise. Approaching the conversation without criticism and avoiding overgeneralization about the relationship is the key to having a successful convo. If partners or spouses want to discuss areas of dissatisfaction, it’s crucial to note that the partner on the receiving end may need some time to process the info alongside additional time to brainstorm ideas on how to approach these issues.
“Approaching the conversation without criticism and avoiding overgeneralization about the relationship is the key to having a successful convo.”
A therapist’s top 3 New Year’s resolutions for couples in 2026
Besides knowing what most couples may need help with in the relationship realm after having kids, Teplin is sharing three New Year’s resolutions for couples to make in the New Year.
1. Carve out time together
Sometimes, prioritizing time together is easier said than done. But before parents say there’s never enough time, Teplin adds, “Parents are never going to ‘find’ the time. They have to make it.” This can look like penciling time into the calendar and hiring a babysitter days or weeks before a date night even happens. And it doesn’t have to be extravagant or completely methodical either—pick a day and time of the week to connect. Picking the same day every week creates consistency. The time spent together can be as simple as having a date night in (e.g., a movie, playing a board game, a dessert happy hour without the kids), or catching up together with conversations that don’t involve the kids.
Teplin expresses that it’s also not about the amount of time that matters, but the quality. The “quality of time spent [together] is a much more meaningful measurement than the technical amount of time together,” says Teplin. The couples therapist sees more success if couples have smaller, more meaningful moments with each other. While having both—blocking time and having smaller moments together—is ideal, she acknowledges that it’s not always possible.
2. Have an ‘admin hour’
There’s a lot of planning that comes with parenting, like discussing who will be in charge of the carpool for the kids’ extracurricular activities and nailing down a budget for the next family vacay. These conversations are important, but they don’t have to be all-consuming in your relationship. Teplin recommends setting an ‘admin hour’ that involves picking the same time each week to keep a shared running list of logistical family needs that have to get done.
This relationship resolution is a good one to add if couples want to find a way to tackle the mental load and prevent any resentment towards their partner. Teplin recommends outlining where each partner spends most of their time and identifying what feels like too much, plus what they don’t enjoy doing. From there, the discussion of where each person can help with the load begins. She also mentions that the topic of setting individual me-time during the week (something that’s just as important as carving out time together) shouldn’t be overlooked either.
“Teplin recommends outlining where each partner spends most of their time and identifying what feels like too much, plus what they don’t enjoy doing.”
3. Identify your hopes for the year ahead—together
Lastly, Teplin suggests identifying hopes for the year ahead together (emphasis on the “together” part). This doesn’t seem so much like a resolution, but it’s the act of making goals as a team. By identifying goals and hopes as a couple, Teplin says, then “[You’re] much more likely to achieve them if [you] have a partner in the discussion.” I’m sharing some tips on how to effectively make these goals as a duo. And don’t forget to write them down.
How to come up with your own goal/resolutions together
Partners can utilize the acronym “SMART” when trying to come up with goals together. Goals should be Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-bound.
- Specific: Be specific and clear when identifying a goal. This can sound like, “We will improve our communication when it comes to planning out the week by having a scheduled admin hour.”
- Measurable: Make the goal measurable by quantifying it. “Our admin hour will last for one hour on Thursday of every week, and we will each address at least one to three topics to discuss (i.e., who will get groceries, who will take kids to a birthday party, which day will work best for spending time together).”
- Achievable: Ask yourselves if the goal is practical.
- Relevant: Is the goal currently relevant to the needs of your relationship at this time? Discuss the most pressing things you want to improve as a couple.
- Time-bound: Give yourselves a deadline. “We will start having our admin hour the first week of January and will continue to meet for eight weeks. At the end of eight weeks, we will evaluate if this structure is working for us.”
How to maintain resolutions as a couple
Personally, I think the hardest part about resolutions is maintaining them. I’m notorious for being gung-ho about a resolution for the first few months (OK, maybe only the first two weeks into January), so I was curious to hear what advice a couples therapist had when more than one person is involved. According to Teplin, having constant check-ins and communication helps with collaboration and accountability. As far as keeping resolutions going beyond January, Teplin states that “couples who have overarching goals but break them down into smaller goals are less likely to lose momentum because they’re able to see achievements as the months go on.”
Additionally, Teplin notes that couples should also allow flexibility with their resolutions. “As the year unfolds, things should [be modified] and adjusted,” shares Teplin. Life happens, goals change, or goals have been met throughout the year. Whatever the reasoning is for adjusting a resolution, it’s completely OK if this happens. Teplin adds, “When we hold rigid goals, we’re more likely to stop focusing on them because of easy failure.”
More New Year’s resolution ideas for couples
If you’re looking for more ideas for New Year’s resolutions to better your relationship, here are 16 resolutions to get you and your partner started. Happy goal-making!
- Have more date nights
- Practice each other’s love languages
- Identify shared household responsibilities
- Compliment each other more
- Voice our needs with one another
- Set individual alone or me-time
- Find a hobby together
- Have more check-ins with one another
- Have more open and honest communication
- Celebrate milestones together
- Try new things together
- Set financial goals for the year
- Stay off our phones when we’re together
- Find ways to be more intimate with each other
- Say ‘thank you’ more often
- Say ‘sorry’ more often
Patty Schepel, Editorial Assistant
As the editorial assistant, Patty works with The Everymom’s team on pitches, creating original articles, updating existing content, photo sourcing, writing shopping product descriptions, inputting freelance articles, and more. With Patty’s passion for writing, experience as a mother of two, and expertise as a pediatric nurse, she brings a thoughtful and informative perspective to The Everymom.
