"I never planned on pausing my career when I had my babies. I grew up in the hustle era; I dreamed of being a girlboss. But as anyone can attest to, we can’t predict what tomorrow will bring, and motherhood specifically, well, it can change the game.
Back in 2017, when I gave birth to my first child, I embraced maternity leave, getting to know my new little boy and slowly figuring out this whole parenting thing. We were also learning a new city: My husband and I had moved across the country, from Boston to Portland, Oregon, when I was seven months pregnant, so he could further his career with a great opportunity. I worked remotely even before the pandemic, so my career was able to roll with this relocation easily.
Just as we were getting comfortable with our new home and routines, when my son was 10 months old, we learned that my husband’s work was moving him once again, this time to San Francisco. That same week, I learned I was pregnant with baby #2. And a few days later, when the company I worked for was sold, I was laid off.
Pausing My Career
And so I began a new path. Instead of scrambling to find a new job immediately, I paused my career so we could relocate once again and have our second child.
Except I didn’t call it a “pause” at the time.
In fact, I didn’t know what to call whatever I was doing. I was trying my hand at freelance writing while also embracing stay-at-home motherhood, yet that didn’t seem to fit right either. I literally stumbled over my words any time I had to face the stressful situation of answering the question of “What do you do?”
It’s been several years since that first iteration of my pause, but I often still feel like I’m figuring my next steps out, and so I eagerly picked up a copy of The Power Pause: How To Plan A Career Break After Kids—And Come Back Stronger Than Ever by Neha Ruch and dove right in.
Reading The Power Pause Book
“Real stories and practical strategies to grow your confidence, expand your network, and unlock your full potential in this chapter.”
This new book by Ruch is a culmination of everything she’s built with her Mother Untitled platform, a community that has grown to over 200K followers on Instagram, as well as an incredibly resourceful website.
I can close my eyes and flashback to my son’s darkened nursery, rocking my second baby boy to sleep as I scrolled the Mother Untitled IG page back in 2018. It was here that I first found Ruch’s work, and most importantly, her words, giving voice to something I felt and lived so deeply yet struggled to name: the gray area that many mothers find themselves in. We aren’t working outside the home moms, but we aren’t that stereotypical June Cleaver either. We have ambition, we have hopes and dreams, and those don’t just disappear because we’ve decided to lean into family life for a chapter.
Learning Fresh Lessons With a New Lens
It is no exaggeration to say I devoured the lessons contained in the pages. It was further proof that while it’s been years, I am still working through the false beliefs that entered my brain during my career pause (beliefs like, I’m lazy, that I’ve given up, that I have nothing else to offer the professional world).
As someone who is familiar with the Mother Untitled content, I worried that this book would be a bit repetitive to all that I’ve read over the past several years on the platform. I was pleasantly surprised (and my highlighters were plenty busy), as The Power Pause was full of fresh information, research, and an abundance of inspiring real stories of other mothers in my position, coming together to give a wider cultural perspective on the movement that Ruch is championing to reshape our outlook on stay-at-home parenthood and career pauses… and career returns.
As someone who feels that while they lived the pause-life for a while now but is still floundering, unsure what to do next, The Power Pause book feels like a legitimate manual on how to proceed productively and realistically.
The Power Pause book guides readers through every single step of the way, starting with deciding to pause in the first place and discovering who you are without a job title to figuring out finances and the proper way to resign. I’m already past these moments, so it wasn’t until Part II, where I personally checked in deeper and then found myself getting emotional.
Thriving, Not Just Surviving
My pause has had many iterations. After our move to California, we welcomed our second son, and only about a year later, the pandemic hit. I had been freelancing still, but with the arrival of Covid and the disappearance of childcare, I took a break from most outside work. I knew in my heart I was doing what I wanted at this time, what was ultimately best for our family, but still struggled with this choice.
Looking back on those days now, I see what I couldn’t see then: I see a mom who loved being home with her babies but felt less than, embarrassed, and silly for finding joy in the little things of our little life. In Part II, Ruch encourages finding rhythms for your days with young ones (life and sanity-savers!) but also how to redefine success for those days at home. The concept of creating goals for oneself during this phase of life absolutely lit me up.
Each chapter in The Power Pause book ends with a “Power Practice,” real, actionable vision setting and life planning. I wish I had had this years ago; it would have been a game-changer.
Finding Encouragement and Validation
While I felt inspired and emotional throughout the book, I also experienced an actionable motivation I’ve never come across before during this stage of my life. Ruch lays it all out on the table, step-by-step, to navigate this phase of life for those who want to take it. Instead of meeting dread and confusion, we’re met with a leader who tells us, “You can do it—now let’s get to work.”
Downshifting your career is not for everyone, and that’s OK. But for those who find themselves in the position, by choice or circumstance, it’s incredibly clear throughout these pages that doing so, and then returning to the workforce in a capacity that you want, is not only doable, but an opportunity for immense growth. But the key is to be strategic. When you approach this phase of life with intention and planning, it’s not a decrease in your worthiness or potential, but instead a chance to exceed expectations.
Like in life, all things that are truly worth it will take time, effort, and patience… and I’d say mothers know this better than anyone.
As I took in the information and stories of other mothers navigating their career pauses and successful returns and Ruchs’ words of encouragement and girlfriend-next-door warmth, I realized this was the first time any sort of external authority had recognized this phase of life, this choice I’ve made, and not only given it permission but validation and encouragement. I can’t help but think that if all mothers, whether working outside the home, inside the home, or some arrangement in between, felt that same acceptance, we’d all be in a much better place.
Planning for What’s Next
I’m not fully out of my pause yet, but this fall I began a new version when my littlest, my third boy, started preschool. I haven’t returned to full-time work but have started digging around and contemplating what exactly I want to do next. I thought it’d be an easy answer, but it hasn’t been. Old familiar feelings of shame and worry have crept in, but as I finished up The Power Pause book, I was met with reassurance once again. Ruch writes, “Rushing into it [working outside the home], without careful consideration of your new professional life runs counter to all the important self-work you’ve done during this phase.“
I am aware of the privilege I have in this time to figure out mine and my family’s next steps. As Ruch explains, the privilege isn’t to stay at home, but instead, to be able to choose what you want to do. And this opportunity is one I refuse to squander. I’d say that may be the ultimate “girlboss” move.
“The privilege isn’t to stay at home, but instead, to be able to choose what you want to do.”
So I’m taking my highlighted notes and eagerly moving forward. I’m updating my LinkedIn page (chapter 9), I’m using Power Practices to write my new goals, I’m doing some deeper dives into what I want (chapter 8), and I’m doing this all feeling more authentic, inspired, and energetic than ever before. Isn’t that a huge part of what any new hiring manager looks for? I’m hoping so because I’m ready to write this next chapter.
Liz Greene, Contributing Writer
Liz is a lifestyle writer living on the East Coast with her husband and three little boys. Her days are filled with endless messes, tons of cold coffee, Post-It notes transcribed with everything she’s worried she’ll forget, and lots and lots of baby wipes—and she wouldn’t have it any other way. Liz was previously an editor at Style Me Pretty.