"It’s an age-old fear of many parents naming a child: ‘Will my kid hate their name when they grow up?’ As someone who despised my name for most of my life and now shares the same name as Amazon’s infamous robot assistant, I’m not gonna lie to you: Yes, they might!
You may want to give your kid a unique baby name, but fear it’ll be hard to pronounce or subject them to inconveniences with legal documents or even bullying.
On the other hand, maybe you’re afraid they’ll hate it because you thought their name was unique, only for them to end up in a class with seven other Alexas. (Though, let’s be real, no one naming their baby ‘Alexa’ now is going to have that problem.)
Or, maybe you’re afraid it just won’t feel like it fits them once their personality develops, leading to some serious baby name regret for you.
Whatever’s eating away at you late at night as you scroll through endless lists of baby names, I’m here to tell you that while these are all valid concerns that could come true, there are things you can keep in mind to reduce the chances of your kid hating their name—and ways to approach it if they do, anyway.
Here’s everything I learned from growing up with a name I hated, ways I’m glad my parents handled it, and how I came around to liking it myself.
What’s in a Name? A Lot, Actually
If you’re reading this, you’re probably already well aware of the weight a name can hold.
In my case, it’s held the weight of many different identities. Throughout my life, I’ve actually gone by three different versions of my name, and each of them reflected a different version of myself as I discovered who I was.
I saw the end of middle school and the beginning of high school as a chance to reinvent myself. In the attempt to hurry my awkward, ugly duckling phase along (which, spoiler alert: lasted well into high school anyway), I asked everyone to start calling me Lexy.
Still to this day, when I hear the name ‘Alexa,’ I picture a dorky little girl with frizzy, curly hair and thick-framed glasses who didn’t have the confidence to correct people when they called her Alex, Alexia, or Alexis.
‘Alexa’ was also the name that would come out of my elders’ or teachers’ mouths whenever I was scolded; it was the name that sounded so unnecessarily complicated and clunky next to all the pretty Katies and Jessicas I knew—and it was the name I began to resent.
“‘Alexa’ was the name that sounded so unnecessarily complicated and clunky next to all the pretty Katies and Jessicas I knew—and it was the name I began to resent.”
But Lexy? ‘Lexy’ sounded like a girl who was a little more playful. A little more fun. She was young and naive and very much still finding her voice, but she was getting there. And once she did get there, she became ‘Lex.’
I started going by ‘Lex’ (the name I still introduce myself as today) when I finally broke out of my shell in my late teens, started performing music and theater, and became an aspiring teen rockstar in need of a cooler stage name. It was actually my mom—yes, the same woman who gave me my full name in the first place—who suggested I drop the ‘y.’
I agreed to it because, in my head, ‘Lex’ was cool and confident—completely opposite of who I felt I had been for most of my life but exactly everything I had always wanted to be. As I grew more secure in myself, I realized just how powerful a name could be. The last iteration of my name helped me believe I could embody all the qualities I had long admired.
So, though I know firsthand that a name can carry a lot of weight, it’s also important to remember that, like us, names are not rigid. We are constantly changing and evolving, so there’s no reason why a name, or the meaning you assign to a name, can’t either. You can grow into it, redefine it, or even change it entirely.
Future-Proofing a Baby Name with Nicknames
While this wasn’t something my parents planned when I was born, I was lucky to be given a name that could be nicknamed. The shorter my name got, the closer I got to the one I felt fit me best.
This isn’t a groundbreaking idea, but it’s always good to remember that when you name a baby, you’re also naming a kid, a teen, and an adult. This could look like picking a nickname-friendly name, but this could also just look like being open to the possibility that your child may want to change it someday.
Everyone in my life respected my decision to go by a different name both times I made that change. If that conversation comes up someday, and you approach it with the same open mindset, I’m sure you’ll be in good shape (and one awesome parent!).
There tends to be a lot of pressure to pick the “perfect” name to begin with, but I think it’s more important to give space for that name to grow with your child as they do.
Learning to Love My Full Name
Though I spent much of my life resenting my name, I began to recognize and appreciate the part it played in shaping my identity more and more. While ‘Alexa’ is the name I still associate with being awkward or getting in trouble, it was also the name of my favorite Diva Starz doll growing up (IYKYK). It was the name of the actress who played the cool girl in Spy Kids (Alexa Vega) and the fun girl in Zoey 101 (Alexa Nikolas). Even though none of these fun facts could convince me at the time that it was the right name for me, they tell you a lot about what kind of child I was—and who I wanted to be.
‘Alexa’ is also the same name that was announced beside my husband’s when we got married. It’s the name I’ve heard my brothers still say out of habit as they shake their heads, laughing after I do something silly—but so quintessentially me and reminiscent of the kid they grew up with. It’s the name my mom gave me because she loved the sound of it when legendary singer-songwriter Billy Joel announced that’s what he’d named his daughter. (No, she had no idea I’d grow up to be a musician myself, but that coincidence did make it feel more special when I did.)
And while I’d caution against naming your child solely after a public figure or character whose reputation may age poorly, I’d also advise you to go easy on yourself—because there’s only so much you can predict. For example, my mom could’ve never predicted the rise of human-named, voice-activated technology, which now answers on my behalf whenever she calls me from across the room. But hey, any foresight you can muster is probably worth keeping in mind!
Despite all the weight my full name holds—the good and the bad—I’ve learned to make peace with it all. It’s lived in, and it comes with countless stories, phases, and memories that make me who I am—and I know that it was given to me with love. At the end of the day, it’s mine, and I’ve learned to love it just as I’ve learned to love every part of myself.
What if Your Kid Grows Up to Hate Their Name?
The truth is, there are many reasons why your kid might hate their name someday. It could be factors beyond your control—like, oh, I don’t know, a new AI bot getting the same name! Or, it could simply be because your kid grows up to have a wildly different taste in names than you do.
While I may be one of the last Alexas to walk this earth, and the name may one day be on the list of extinct baby names (thanks again, Jeff Bezos!), I can assure you that I won’t resent my parents for it. I’ll still be glad to have had it—especially because they were receptive to me changing it until it felt like the best fit for me.
So, will your kid grow up to hate that baby name you love right now? Maybe. But it won’t be the end of the world—it may just open up a whole new one for them.
Lex Rule, Social Media Editor
With experience in creating and managing engaging content to bolster brands of all sizes across various industries—and a passion for using her creativity to solve problems and connect people—Lex brings a diverse skill set, keen eye for social media trends, and fresh perspective to The Everymom as Social Media Editor.