"I’ll start off with—I’m not proud of this moment. When I was 6 years old, my sister was annoying me so much that I smacked her in the face and blamed my action on a “bug” that “landed” on her. There wasn’t a bug. If you’re wondering, I did say “sorry.” I don’t remember the exact details of why she was annoying me. It was probably because she was being a typical bossy, older sister (yes, she’s the older one). What I do remember is that we were watching Spice World The Movie, so I would imagine we were fighting over which one of us was Sporty Spice.
Sisters. You love them or hate them. For me, it’s been both. Growing up, my sister was the stereotypical older sister: a little bossy but protective at the same time. We now laugh at the fact that I smacked a pretend bug off her face. To say “I hated my sister” is pretty strong and dramatic, but we didn’t always get along, and we weren’t always friends. Our story is an “enemies to best friends” trope. We have a four-year age gap, and now that we’re older, we’re pretty inseparable. Our younger selves could have done without each other, but our present-day selves now live four minutes apart—on purpose.
Did I Really Hate My Sister?
Reflecting back on our relationship, I didn’t really hate my sister. While she may have been the typical older sister, I was also the typical younger sister. I was always trying to find any window of opportunity to insert myself into her life. That meant I didn’t care if my tactic was annoying or not. You could often find me with my ear pressed to her door when she had friends over for sleepovers or on the other side of the telephone line eavesdropping—when that was still a thing. I was an Anna to her Elsa, I would say. Once we started to wear the same size clothing, our fights were over Forever 21 tops and American Eagle jeans. We both have admitted that we would sneak outfits back into each other’s closets as if they were never missing.
“I Don’t Hate My Sister” Became Mutual
When I started my freshman year of high school and she was a senior, the climax to the arc of our relationship was when we were forced to spend the summer together during band camp. Not surprisingly, I too, played the flute just like her. Our usual banter turned into morning jam sessions, and eventually, we started to have deeper conversations. We would confide in each other when we had disagreements with our parents or help each other navigate a friendship or a crush. And when the time came for her to leave for college, I felt like a part of me was missing.
I’m a Better Mom Because of My Sister
There’s something special about having a sister. We still fight. It just looks a little different—more like disagreements—we don’t hit each other anymore, of course. We’re each other’s sounding boards for anything from fashion to career advice. One thing that has bonded us even more is how she has made me a better mom. As a younger sister, it definitely helps that she experiences some things before I do (shoutout to the older sisters). Since she had kids before I did, I had someone to talk to about postpartum anxiety and whether my toddler’s behavior was age appropriate, and she has helped me feel confident about being a mom. When I doubt myself, she doesn’t. And to know that she loves my kids as much as I do is the best part of being a mom with her.
Our Age Gap Closed as We Got Older
Even with the age difference, there isn’t much of a difference now that we are older. What felt like a big age gap when we were younger feels like it’s nonexistent now. We have figured it out when it comes to being sisters. No competition and only good vibes with a safe space to forever yap. Instead of fighting over clothes, we’ve learned that sharing is way better.
My Sister and I Will Always Be Connected
Somehow, through the intricacies of our lives, we always find our way back to each other. We’ve lived miles and hours apart. We went to different colleges. Then we worked together at the same place. She moved. I moved. We both rallied behind each other when we decided to make career changes. And now? She lives four minutes away, and our kids get to grow up together. We tell each other all the time that we’re living “the sister dream.” We have the same friends, and she is the best community I’ve had since becoming a mom.
I know our close proximity may not always last forever. Life happens, but I think our connection is too hard to break. As a true soul sister, I like to believe that the “enemy to friends” trope always has a strong bond. It’s safe to say I don’t hate my sister. In fact, I love her very, very much.
Patty Schepel, Editorial Assistant
As the editorial assistant, Patty works with The Everymom’s team on pitches, creating original articles, updating existing content, photo sourcing, writing shopping product descriptions, inputting freelance articles, and more. When she’s not working, you can find her spending time with her family, training for half marathons—she ran one 16 weeks pregnant—traveling, cooking, reading a rom-com, and keeping her sourdough starter, Rose, alive.