Think back to your favorite birthday party memory from childhood. Was there an oversized bounce house, Pinterest-worthy decor, and overflowing goody bags? Probably not. From my early ā90s childhood, my memories were from simple kids’ birthday parties. Like on my 9th birthday, my friends and I ate pizza off New Kids on the Block cups and plates, played Scattergories, and had a slumber party in my living room. A close runner-up? My 5th birthday was celebrated in the back party room at McDonaldās (why donāt they bring these back!?). Both remain core memories.
My kids, however, recently attended a unicorn-themed birthday party where they received a professional unicorn-themed makeover, went home with a bag full of party favors, and rode an actual unicorn (horse in a costume). They loved it, of course, and I applaud the birthday girlās parents for giving their kid (and my kids) a dream come true. But, seriously, when did kids’ birthday parties get so over-the-top? Can we still make our kidās birthday parties memorable without all the āextraā year after year?
Did Social Media Kill Simple Kids’ Birthday Parties?
Throwing elaborate kids’ birthday parties seems to have become popular in the same way gifting for every occasion has become (Iām looking at you, Christmas Eve boxes). Yes, it’s about bringing kids joy, but so much of the spectacle seems like itās made for the cute social media content. I wonder whether we are setting our kids up for excessive consumerism and unrealistic expectations when it comes to holidays and birthdays. Are we making the party benchmarks too highāboth for the kids and the other parents who feel like they have to keep up?Ā
I do want to acknowledge that if gift-giving or party-planning is your love language, then I certainly donāt want to say thereās anything wrong with doing what brings you joy. And I, too, have scrolled social media for kidās birthday party inspiration, and I appreciate those sharing their creativity. But with two kids now in elementary school whose birthdays also happen to be in close proximity, Iāve become a big believer in less is more when it comes to birthdays.
I know Iām not alone in feeling this way. One TikToker mom, @Ciao AmberC, shared why she went simple with her 3-year-old son’s birthday, keeping it to cake, pizza, and close family and friends. She acknowledged she might not go this route every year, but it made sense this year for what was going on in their lives at that moment.
Leaning Into Less is More for Birthdays
So, if youāre too longing for the days when a simple celebration seemed to bring as much joy as a live unicorn, here are some simple birthday party ideas Iāve tried that still felt like a special celebration for my kids.
Create Little Birthday Surprises to Make Them Feel Special
We have a birthday tradition where we hang streamers from the birthday kidās door so that when they wake up, they get to walk through like a movie star. Itās the simplest and cheapest tradition, but they love it year after year.Ā
I know some families fill the birthday kids’ bed with balloons or get donuts for breakfast. Whatever tradition you choose, centering the day on them in simple ways can still feel special.
Find a Party Event Space That Does it All
My biggest birthday party parenting hack is finding an event space that also takes some to-dos off my list. Our local gymnastics facility does the decor, table set up, goody bags(!), and has professional coaches to keep the kids entertainedāand safely corralled. All we had to do was send out invites and bring snacks. While it might have been nominally more expensive than hosting at our house, the time/stress/clean-up it saved was worth every penny. Weāve done this two years in a row for my gymnastics-loving daughterāis three times too much? Weāll see.
Choose an Experience Over a Party
Once you get to know your little ones better, you can tailor their birthday in a meaningful way beyond choosing a Paw Patrol or Bluey birthday party theme. For example, I have an 11-year-old introvert with a small group of close friends. For her, a birthday experience shared with a few buddies is way better than a party. Weāve taken a few friends to the zoo one year and taken one friend to ride horses. This year, she just wanted a family dinner at a restaurantādone!
My other child is an extrovert who wants to invite the whole grade, so a small celebration experience would never be her style. Hence, the aforementioned gymnastics parties. But for some kids, experiences are a perfect way to celebrate.
Go Bigger on Milestone Birthdays (1, 5, 10, etc.)āNot Every Year
Having a blowout bash every year is another thing my parents did not do in the ā80s and ā90s. My brothers and I were offered a party every other year, at varying scalesāfrom living room slumber party to bowling alley bash to backyard water balloon fight. If you can start now, consider going big for the milestone birthdays and keeping the yearly parties a little bit more simple.
Final Thoughts on Simple Kids’ Birthday Parties
Birthdays are big moments for our kids, no doubt. But with so much of the magic-making falling on momsā shoulders, I hope we all remember birthday parties donāt have to be over-the-top to send your kids over the moon. Simple celebrations can still be pretty special and maybe just a little bit nostalgic.
