"Preschool is one of those things that feels so far away when you’re holding your tiny baby but creeps up on you so fast. One minute, you’re in between naps and feedings, and the next, you’re shopping for *the* perfect pre-K backpack with your tiny, opinionated preschooler in tow.
As my own daughter is getting ready to enter 1st grade (which feels insane to say), I’ve found myself thinking back to the two incredible years she spent in preschool, how much she’s grown, and what I know now that I wish I knew then.
So now that our daughter is off to officially be a “grader” (for those not in the know, it’s what the cool kids call anyone in first grade and up), here’s what I wish I knew about the preschool years. They were only two years ago but feel like a lifetime ago.
Preschool Friendships Are Important, Adorable, and Influential
The friends that my daughter made in her first year of preschool are still her closest friends today, and I have a feeling they will be for a long time to come. Letting go and watching kids naturally gravitate towards each other, initiate conversations, find comfort in each other’s presence, and look forward to daily routines together is a really incredible experience, and it’s just the beginning. Fostering these friendships, prioritizing them, and asking about them can help your kiddo feel strong in their relationships and lead to smoother days in the classroom.
Of course, there are bound to be disagreements and “fights”—since we’re talking about 3 and 4-year-olds here, maybe throw in some biting or hitting—but Pre-K, for us, was all about the friends. And I think that’s how it should be.
Playdates Take Actual Effort
Up until preschool, my daughter’s playdates were initiated by me and were usually with families I am friends with. They were effortless and easy. But in preschool, there are so many new little faces and new friendships and social dynamics that playdates outside of school quickly become necessary. All of a sudden, instead of throwing on a sweatshirt and heading to my friend’s nearby apartment with my toddler in tow, I had to reach out to new people, ask for phone numbers, open up my home, or meet up at a park with people I didn’t know and gasp, maybe even do my hair! All for the sake of my kiddo. And I’m so glad I did.
It’s Not Always Sunshine And Rainbows
Their classrooms might be bright and cheerfully decorated with sunshine and rainbows, but the preschool years are not always that perfect. With preschool comes big emotions, new friendships, and exposure to so many new things for the first time. Some days will be filled with challenges—and that’s totally normal. Whether they fight you on going, wake up one day and decide they “hate” it, or if you’re my kid, attempt to fake illness or injury to avoid going in knowing full well she was straight-up terror the day before, it’s all normal. Roll with it. Promise.
Older Siblings Have A Huge Impact
Even though my kiddo went to daycare, up until the preschool years, my husband and I still had a pretty firm grip on what she was exposed to and our explanation of “bigger” questions, like did she come out of my vagina or my belly, how come some friends have only a mommy (or two mommies), and does everyone have an Elf On the Shelf? But now in preschool, we have way less control because of an unanticipated challenge—older siblings.
I had never given it much thought to be honest—in my closest circle of friends, we all pretty much had our kiddos around the same time. But just a few weeks into preschool, our 3-year-old came home with new curse words, asking to play Roblox, and talking about shows we’ve never let her watch. Not that any of these examples are inappropriate for the older siblings—but with her, we were quickly “enlightened” to learn how other kids talk, watch, and engage at home thanks to older brothers and sisters.
Bullying Is, Unfortunately, A Thing
I was a middle school educator for 12 years and am pretty well versed in the definition and presentation of bullying, so I was really taken aback to see firsthand that 4-year-olds really can (and do!) experience it at such a young age. All I can say on this one as a parent and former teacher is to trust your gut. Sometimes, it’s a kid having a bad day; sometimes, it really could be bullying. If you think it’s the latter, speak up. Document it. Make sure it’s taken seriously. There’s a high likelihood the problem can be solved with the right approach, and if not, you want a paper trail established before they head into elementary school.
Not All Parents Parent Like You
This isn’t so much of a “I wish I knew”—because we all know everyone parents differently, as best they can and in vastly different ways. But preschool was my first experience navigating “difficult” parents, ones who have different values, different priorities, and if I’m being really honest, people I would never really be friends with or want to be friends with. In a way, the preschool years were the first time I had to find a way to be peaceful acquaintances with people I flat-out didn’t like for the benefit of my kid. I’m not naive—I knew one day it was inevitable, I just didn’t realize how soon the days would come. Ah, the things we do for our kids…
Let Them Wear What They Want
After a few stressful and loud mornings, I gave in and let her start to dress herself. Luckily together, we were able to find a few “go-tos” for shopping that we both like (actually, love—shout out to Lola & The Boys and Target, they’re the real MVPs), and we started to really enjoy shopping together both online and in person.
However, I drew a line in the sand for the picture day outfit. That’s not a battle I was willing to lose.
They Are Still So Little, Yet So Big
Some days, they might look so freaking big, and you’re seriously mourning their babyhood. The next, they’re scared of an ant or are so cutely mispronouncing words or still bopping along to Elmo’s World or Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. They’re so little, and they’re so big. Preschool is the in-between.
The Best is Yet to Come
Pre-school is the beginning of letting go and of a lifetime of learning, loving, and growing. Savor as much of it as you can, but also cut yourself some slack on the daily knowing that the best really is yet to come.
At least, until puberty hits, that is. Then I’m certain I’ll be writing with a different tone.
Erin Celletti, Contributing Writer
Erin is an NYC-based writer with a BA in Journalism from Quinnipiac University and two master’s degrees in education. She is a proud mama to a little girl and a lifestyle, beauty, wellness, and trends reports writer. Beyond The Everymom, Erin’s editorial work has been featured in publications like Bustle, Allure, Byrdie, The Everygirl, TeenVogue, BRIDES, Sunday Edit, and TODAY.