Growing up, many memories with my mom consisted of her hauling me and my siblings to join her while playing Mahjong with her friends (who I’ve grown up to know as my ‘aunts’). I remember these times so vividly. The kids played in the background—while the moms played the game, conversing, laughing, and catching up on life. To this day, they still routinely get together every week for Mahjong nights. And depending on who’s hosting, some of them even travel an hour away just to make it.
Although not new, the game of American Mahjong has truly picked up traction on social media in the last few years in the United States. Women my age are joining Mahjong clubs, taking classes, and buying all the Mahjong accessories. But I have to confess: while I grew up with Mahjong, I never learned how to play, nor did I have any interest in learning—until now.
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What is Mahjong?
If you’ve never heard of the game Mahjong, it’s a tile-based game that originated in China. The objective of this four-person game is to be the first player to build winning hands by drawing and discarding tiles. Since the 19th century, different versions of Mahjong have been created, including American Mahjong, Hong Kong (or Cantonese) Mahjong, Japanese Mahjong, and more. Rules, winning hands, terminology, and the number of tiles may be different depending on which style you’re playing.
How I decided I wanted to learn the game of Mahjong
I was reminded of all the childhood Mahjong memories I grew up with when I watched the 2018 book-to-movie adaptation Crazy Rich Asians. The women in the film are seen playing Singaporean Mahjong. And as an Asian and Filipino-American, it reminded me so much of my mom and aunts.
While I wish I could say that my mom was the one who recently influenced me to want to learn how to play, I’ll admit that the recent Mahjong craze had me more curious about learning the game.
I asked my mom to teach me how to play
However, I knew that if I was going to start a hobby like Mahjong, I wanted to learn from the masters: my mom, my aunts, and my grandmother. Deeming them my Mahjong experts, it was only fitting that they teach me the variation of Mahjong they’ve always played, which is the Cantonese-style Hong Kong version. So, I started requesting that my mom bring her Mahjong set to family gatherings.
My first ‘lesson’ occurred during my grandmother’s 85th birthday. She made every player have their tiles face up so she and my mom could teach me strategy and how to pair the tiles correctly. It’s now a core memory with them.
My experience playing Mahjong with my family
The rules of Mahjong can be hard to keep up with. If you’ve ever wondered why everyone sitting at a table playing American Mahjong has a card in front of them, it’s because the card contains a list of rules and winning hands.
But when I play with my family, they keep all the rules stored in their memories. Not only that, my mom and aunts have been playing with each other for so long that they’ve established “house rules” as well. So you can imagine the shock I have when they inform me that I can’t do something, and the justification is, “because we say so.” While that shocked me at first, it has made my learning experience fun, amusing, and definitely memorable.
The unexpected lesson I learned playing Mahjong
But I think the biggest takeaway for me so far hasn’t actually been the rules or the strategies of the game. It’s the stronger connection I’ve formed with my mom and, of course, the valuable time with my aunts and grandmother.
“It’s the stronger connection I’ve formed with my mom and, of course, the valuable time with my aunts and grandmother.”
A stronger connection with my family
When it comes to family get-togethers, it’s easy to fall into the scripted conversations: How’s your week? How’s work going? Or how are the kids liking school? Using the game of Mahjong as a form of soft socializing makes catching up feel more organic. Plus, when formal questions are interwoven with jokes and one of my aunties telling me I chose the wrong Mahjong tile to set down, it adds some comedic relief to the game—especially since they take the game very seriously.
Mahjong has connected my friends with my family
My own friends even wanted to learn how to play. I’ll never forget the night my mom and one of my aunts taught my girlfriends the game. There was lots of laughter, lots of questions, and ending the night with, “That was so much fun.”
Mahjong has secured me a girls’ night every week
It’s also reminded me that it’s important to set aside time for myself and work on relationships with my own friends. My friends and I have now started hosting our own Mahjong nights. I’ll confess that these girls’ nights haven’t always consisted of actually playing the game—because sometimes, we just need a night to organize our calendars together or lounge around eating snacks. However, penciling “Mahjong night” into the calendar has secured me a weekly hang.
For some, the game itself can bring joy. Playing Mahjong is a fun activity, but personally, the thing I’ve enjoyed the most is getting to spend time with my mom, aunts, and grandmother. It’s crazy to think that my kids are the same age as I was when I remember my mom playing Mahjong. My own kids consider my friends as their aunts, and years from now, I hope they can say, “I grew up with my mom and aunties playing Mahjong,” too.
Patty Schepel, Associate Editor
As the Associate Editor, Patty works with The Everymom’s team on pitches, creating original articles, updating existing content, photo sourcing, writing shopping product descriptions, editing freelance articles, and more. With Patty’s passion for writing, experience as a mother of two, and expertise as a pediatric nurse, she brings a thoughtful and informative perspective to The Everymom.
