"As parents, we work hard to set our kids up for success at the start of a new school year. We consult the school supplies list and ensure they have what they need. We take them shopping for new clothes to fit their growing bodies. We pack them lunches and snacks to sustain their energy during the day. When it comes to our children’s success at school, however, one thing we often don’t consider is the importance of having a good relationship with their teacher.
Healthy connections between parents and teachers have been shown to positively impact children’s academic achievement, social competencies, and emotional well-being. When parents develop effective partnerships with teachers, the kids’ grades, attitudes toward school, and social skills all improve. Kids also experience fewer behavioral problems and demonstrate a greater ability to adapt to new situations.
While it’s clearly a win-win situation for parents and teachers to develop a good relationship, both populations usually have limited time to invest in doing so. Fortunately, there are some tried and true ways to get off on the right foot with your child’s teachers and ensure a successful school year.
How to Develop a Good Relationship With Your Child’s Teacher
1. Communicate Early and Often
I’ll always remember my child’s kindergarten teacher saying she wished each of her students came with a “manual”—a primer on what motivated them, what brought them joy, any challenges they faced, and any family or home dynamics to be aware of.
Initiating early and consistent communication with the teacher can make a world of difference in understanding our child’s progress, strengths, and areas for improvement. Sharing relevant information about our child’s interests, challenges, and learning style can provide valuable insights that help teachers tailor their approach to better suit individual needs.
Whether through emails, phone calls, or in-person meetings, maintaining an open channel of communication with teachers allows us to stay informed about our child’s academic journey. In addition to sharing information, it’s equally important to actively listen to the teacher’s feedback and insights. By demonstrating receptiveness and openness to their suggestions, we create a collaborative environment where both parties can work together for the benefit of our child’s growth.
2. Dedicate Time for Meaningful Discussions
When it comes to discussing our child’s progress or any concerns we may have, it’s essential to allocate dedicated, focused time for these conversations. Avoiding rushed discussions during pick-up or drop-off times allows for a more thoughtful and meaningful exchange of ideas. Teachers are often juggling multiple responsibilities, so scheduling a meeting with them in advance ensures that they can devote their full attention to the conversation.
Similarly, if your child’s teacher approaches you about something off-the-cuff and you feel too scattered to discuss it with your toddler hanging on your leg or the clock ticking to get to swim lessons, you can always request a rain check and then set up a time to touch base when you’re able to better focus on the conversation.
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3. Show Your Support
One of the most tangible ways to strengthen the parent-teacher relationship is to actively support them by becoming an extension of their classroom. Encouraging your child to complete homework assignments and projects, and engaging with them in their learning journey shows your child how much you value education and reinforces the teacher’s efforts.
Volunteering in the classroom, assisting with school trips, or contributing to the school’s PTA are other great ways to show your support. And, for those with limited time or resources, creative gestures like setting up an Amazon wish list for classroom supplies or connecting teachers with potential outside resources are great ways to show you’ve got their back.
4. Understanding Teachers’ Perspectives
While advocating for our kids is a natural instinct, it’s equally vital to seek to understand the teacher’s perspective. They bring years of experience and expertise to the table, and respecting their professional judgment fosters a positive and cooperative environment.
Approaching discussions with curiosity rather than confrontation can lead to productive conversations. Using phrases like “I’m hoping to understand why…” or “Can you walk me through how…” when discussing our child’s academic or social situation signals our desire to focus on collaborative problem-solving and mutual growth.
In addition, staying informed about the challenges and demands faced by teachers can help us appreciate the complexities of their role. Being aware of the resources available to them, the class size, and the curriculum constraints enables us to offer constructive support and collaborate more effectively in our child’s education.
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5. The Power of Gratitude and Affirmation
Positive feedback and reinforcement can be powerful. Be sure to pass along kudos to the teacher whenever you can. If your child comes home crowing about what a great day they had or entranced by a new topic introduced in one of their classes, fire off a quick note to the teacher to let them know.
Especially if they’ve helped you navigate a challenging situation with your child or provided extra support or attention, let them know you appreciate it. These words of affirmation can go a long way toward creating a positive relationship where you’re both invested in the success of your child.
Encouraging your child to also express their gratitude to their teacher can help them learn the importance of appreciation and acknowledgment. Simple gestures like drawing a thank-you card or expressing gratitude in person can do wonders for a teacher’s morale and motivation.
A new school year is a time of new relationships and fresh starts. As we shift out of summer mode and into back-to-school season, it’s important to remember that our involvement in our child’s education goes beyond packing lunch or helping with homework. Your child’s teacher is a powerful ally for their success, and a relationship worth investing in.
