"Cognitive reframing just might be my favorite parenting hack. If you’re unfamiliar, reframing, as it is commonly called, is the simple act of viewing a situation through a positive lens rather than a negative one. For example, my child is “independent” rather than “difficult” for wanting to dress themselves (even though we need to get out of the house in five minutes). For me, looking at a situation from a different angle almost always provides the perspective I need to move forward in a more productive manner.
So when, somewhere along the way, I heard screens and technology referred to as tools rather than something negative to avoid, it hit different. Like many parents, I vowed to shield my young children from the ills of too much screen time too soon, but things haven’t exactly unfolded the way I’d expect. Sometimes, dinner needs to get made or a work assignment needs to be finished, and Bluey makes it possible.
“[When] I heard screens and technology referred to as tools rather than something negative to avoid, it hit different… Sometimes, dinner needs to get made or a work assignment needs to be finished, and Bluey makes it possible.”
Finding the positive effects of screen time
While the mom guilt used to be real, I now view those moments as a creative use of the tools at my disposal to make family meal time happen or to lower my personal stress by completing a work task on time. And now, I largely view screens and technology as tools we, as a family, can use to make our lives better and to foster our love of learning.
My kids are 4 and 6 years old and do not have any personal tech devices, such as tablets, smartwatches, or smartphones. They do have access to these types of devices at times when used with an adult. Also, peer influence hasn’t taken over much yet, but I hope that by nurturing healthy screen use now, they will carry it forward with them. Along with holding boundaries and modeling beneficial screen use, here are all the positive ways I am using screens with my kids.
Curating a music playlist
Music is also an amazing parenting hack! It introduces language, is a critical component of dance parties, and helps teach about emotions—it’s truly magical. Music has always been important to me and brings me back to many memorable moments in my life. As a child, I remember constantly having music on in my room (via cassette tapes and CDs!), and I knew I wanted to share this love with my kids. So despite it adding a bit of flair to my Spotify Wrapped, I allow my kids to curate their own playlist and use our Google Home to play songs at designated times.
Video calling with loved ones
The idea of video calling as a positive use of screens for kids isn’t new. In fact, it’s the one exception the American Academy of Pediatrics gives in their recommendation for no screen use in children under 18 months. My in-laws live overseas, and so my kids have been video calling with their grandparents since they were babies. This allowed them to form a bond with them when travel wasn’t positive during the COVID-19 pandemic as well as helped them practice communication skills from a young age. Additionally, I feel it’s shown them that important relationships take nurturing, and taking the time to call and connect with someone matters.
Watching live zoo cams
Like so many kiddos, mine absolutely adore animals! We are fortunate to live near a couple wonderful zoos and an aquarium, and for that I am grateful. But we’ve been able to learn even more about animals by using screens. While books are amazing for learning, too, there’s just something about being able to see an animal move that sparks interest. One of our favorite ways to do this is via live zoo cams. Two of our favorite zoos to watch are the Smithsonian National Zoo for pandas and elephants and the San Diego Zoo for tigers.
Searching for recipes
Our family loves food. Plain and simple. We enjoy cooking, trying new foods, and exploring farmers markets. Because of this, I often involve my kids in some aspect of planning meals—whether it’s choosing what type of fruit to buy that week or helping to choose a recipe for dinner. Our foodie ways have led us to curate quite the collection of cookbooks, but we do search for recipes online occasionally. While looking at recipes together, we talk about ingredients and learn about new foods as well as practice skills like numbers and reading.
Learning about different cultures
One of my biggest ambitions is to help my children discover the big, big world around them. And while I wish we could travel far and wide, it’s not always possible to see all that we want to see. So, screens allow us to see pictures of places far away, hear videos of people speaking different languages, as well as teach us not everyone is the same as we are, and that is OK.
Oftentimes, we look up cultural traditions or holidays that my son heard about in school, but that we don’t celebrate ourselves. I believe this teaches my children to value learning as well as encourages them to learn about others who are different from them. In turn, I hope it instills kindness, compassion, and acceptance in their hearts.
Reading E-books
Over the last year or so, my son has become interested in chapter books. While he doesn’t read himself yet, he loves stories! Reading has been part of his bedtime since he was a baby, which feels really special, but it’s not the ideal time to realize the book we are reading is quickly ending. E-books to the rescue! With a simple click, we have access to many books via our local library in time to avoid a major disruption in bedtime routines. As a bibliophile myself, I think I will always be on team (physical) book, but I will hold dear anything that helps my children embrace the joys and benefits of reading.
Dana Peters, R.D.
Dana is a writer and registered dietitian specializing in family and kids nutrition living in the Chicago suburbs. From healthy family eating to reliable baby gear to wellness for moms, she has covered it all. She is mom to Charlie and Eva, a wannabe baker, and a farmer’s market enthusiast.