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If I were limited to recommending one simple way to add a splash of extra fun, pleasure, and comfort to intimacy, it would be lube. Lubricants are easily overlooked for a variety of reasons. Some worry that using them means you won’t be able to self-lubricate “naturally.” Others assume that they will inevitably irritate your intimate regions. While any fear or doubt is totally valid, it would also be a shame to miss out on a valuable resource that could potentially enhance intimacy in fulfilling ways.
It’s true—women are particularly sensitive to the impact of using lubricant, which is a blessing and a curse. The goal is finding the right lube—or combination of lubes—that delivers optimal enjoyment with no repercussions, something that is 100 percent possible.
For moms, however, that holy grail of lubes is probably the most subject to change. Moms can find themselves at a variety of life stages. You could be trying to conceive, be pregnant, postpartum, or breastfeeding, be entering perimenopause or menopause, and so on. Oftentimes, this can warrant paying special attention to a lube that is going to meet you exactly where you’re at. That’s why we’ve spoken with a sexual wellness expert and rounded up the best lubes for moms for every occasion. Keep reading to find yours.
In addition to being a Somatic Sex Educator, Kiana Reeves is a certified sexological bodyworker, pelvic health practitioner, certified doula, and Foria’s Chief Education Officer. With a lifelong passion for sexual wellness and female reproductive health, Kiana has been practicing in these fields for over 10 years.
We asked Kiana Reeves, a somatic sex educator and certified sexological bodyworker, about the benefits of lubricants. She said encouragingly, “The benefits of using lube are endless!” Whether it’s heightened arousal, protection against discomfort, extended playtime, or diversifying sexual activity possibilities, lube can make things exciting and satisfying.
Reeves explained that in tandem with our body’s natural ability to self-lubricate, lube creates an effective barrier during intercourse. By doing so, it helps minimize any friction, which can be the cause of discomfort, pain, or even tearing. Instead, your focus gets to be on connecting more fully with your pleasure and even allowing more sexual experimentation.
But shouldn’t I be able to self-lubricate, naturally?
This is by far one of the most common and unfortunate stigmas around lube. Many women (and their partners) are under the impression that their self-lubrication should be enough to enjoy a sexual encounter. What’s more, as Reeves pointed out, “Some women can self-lubricate naturally when they’re aroused, and some don’t, even if they’re feeling the same levels of pleasure.”
Moreover, it’s also important to remember that your menstrual cycle, being pregnant, or entering perimenopause and menopause all involve hormonal fluctuations. Those changes can impact the body’s natural lubrication system. In fact, that’s precisely why the types of lubricants moms might get the most benefit from can change over time (more on that below).
Essentially, every woman has a different pattern of arousal and what brings her pleasure. No matter what yours is, lube is there to support you in feeling the best you possibly can during sex and intimacy. Reeves confirmed, “The point of being intimate with a partner (or yourself!) is to connect with our natural desire and experience pleasure. Lube is merely a tool for making that pleasure and intimacy more accessible.”
Reeves said she wishes she could tell all moms, “Our bodies are remarkably good at telling us what they need: If they need a little (or a lot!) of lube to have a more enjoyable experience, then so be it!”
Are there discreet options for when kids are around?
Sex and motherhood can be tricky. For all the mamas who don’t want their kiddos getting too curious about the shampoo or body wash they don’t recognize, fear not. Reeves highlighted, “We’ve come a long way in terms of discreet, minimalist packaging for sexual wellness products. For example, some brands use glass bottles that blend right into your medicine cabinet, and other brands have done a really nice job of making their products look like a chic hand lotion or body oil.”
Keeping all this in mind, let’s get into our top recommendations for lubes according to your current stage:
When it comes to choosing a lube for couples, comfort and ease tend to matter more than anything else—especially during seasons when bodies feel different than they used to. Whether it’s postpartum changes, stress, hormonal shifts, or just wanting things to feel smoother and more intentional, many couples reach for a lube that helps reduce friction without requiring a whole new routine. The best options are the ones that feel approachable, work for both partners, and quietly support closeness without drawing too much attention to themselves. We’ve found that K-Y Yours + Mine Couples Lube* effortlessly meets all those qualities.
Designed with a dual-sensation formula, it offers a gentle warming feeling for one partner paired with a subtle tingling sensation for the other, creating an experience that feels thoughtful and easy to incorporate. It’s a trusted option that works across all of the many stages of partnership, and one of those finds that seasoned parents tend to quietly recommend to each other for a win-win situation—if you know, you know.
*Consult a doctor before use if you are pregnant, breastfeeding, or trying to conceive.
Thoughtfully designed for couples, this lube features a dual-sensation formula, offering a gentle warming feeling for one partner and a light tingling sensation for the other. It’s a versatile, easy-to-use option that feels intentional without being complicated, making it a reliable choice for many stages of partnership—a great pick for couples looking to add a little something extra while keeping things comfortable and approachable.
OB-GYNs are some of the most credible professionals out there when it comes to taking care of our lady parts. For that, the lubricants they recommend are certainly worth considering as you discover what works best with your body and experience of pleasure. When we asked Dr. Soha S. Patel, an OB-GYN and Assistant Professor at Vanderbilt University Medical Center’s Department of Obstetrics and Gynecology, she advised looking for approved nonhormonal lubricants. Here are a few faves.
K-Y is the #1 doctor-recommended personal lubricant brand, and this longer lasting formula contains aloe vera for a gentle, soothing feeling. It’s a water based formula made without parabens, glycerin, hormones, alcohol or fragrances.
Sometimes, silicone lubricant gets a bad rap because it’s not plant-based. However, when it’s responsibly created and of medical-grade quality, it’s often desirable because it has a far silkier feel than water- or oil-based alternatives. Plus, it has a superior staying power that makes reapplication less frequent. Uberlube has been trusted in the medical profession for years, and it’s hard not to be impressed by how pleasant and non-greasy their lube feels.
Formulated by one of the most eco-minded sexual wellness companies, Maude boasts that their organic aloe and water-based lube is “formulated for the ideal osmolality of the body.” Indeed, it’s a fabulous formula that will keep your intimate areas well moisturized and comfortable. OB-GYNs appreciate it because of how much Maude emphasizes their commitment to careful testing and using the least amount of (clean) preservatives possible.
AH! YES’s organic water-based formula is another reliable option for supporting your body’s hydration and pleasure while maintaining a list of mostly plant-based organic ingredients. If you’re looking for a lube with a slick feel that won’t burn or disrupt your pH, this is it.
Research has shown that comfort and enjoyment during sex can increase your success at conceiving. For many women, incorporating lube is the trick to taking pleasure up a notch. If you’re trying to conceive, then it helps to focus on creating an environment that supports conception. For instance, since oil and silicone-based lubes are more viscous (thicker), they aren’t the best choice either because they can limit sperm motility. So, having a clean, sperm-friendly one you can rely on can’t hurt. Again, it’s still always a good idea to check with your healthcare provider to be sure you’re supporting your TTC journey.
Once you’re growing a little one, you start paying more attention to anything and everything you put on or in your body. Like the skincare do’s and don’ts when you’re pregnant or breastfeeding, you definitely want to be mindful of which lubes you’re using. If you’re breastfeeding, you might notice you’re drier than usual down there and find lube particularly refreshing. While this list can serve as inspiration, it’s always best to check with your care provider for the green light.
Unlike traditional lubricants, such as oil-based lubes and saliva, that hinder sperm mobility, this sperm-safe formula ensures optimal conditions for conception. It’s pH balanced, water-based, and naturally hydrating, providing an ideal environment for conception. It’s also safe to use during pregnancy and while breastfeeding, so no need to switch it out once you reach the next stage.
When you’re pregnant or breastfeeding, you have the highest standards for ingredient lists. With a number of ingredients you can count on one hand, Sliquid’s H2O is a no-brainer for a clean, straightforward formula that’s not going to disturb your or baby’s wellness.
As described above, this stellar water-based lubricant offers maximum comfort and a smooth glide. It practically invites you to apply more of it. What’s even better is that it’s the simplest water-based formula I know of, meaning less opportunity for any irritants to affect you or baby. If you’re trying to conceive, then it helps to focus on creating an environment that supports sperm.
Postpartum sex is a sexual league of its own. Everybody rediscovers their spark for intimacy differently, and the timeline for doing so is just as different. Regardless, if and when you’re ready to start engaging in sex again postpartum, Reeves said that the extra moisturizing and comforting effects of silicone or oil-based lubes can be nice starting points. She further suggested that if you’re no longer breastfeeding, a CBD-infused lube can offer even more support, as it promotes relaxation and arousal.
Want to stick with a water-based lube, but standard formulas just don’t feel hydrating enough? A water-based option with a gel-like consistency can be a welcome alternative. As the name says, Wicked’s is simple and bound to stick around.
The advantage of choosing a coconut oil-based lube over straight up coconut oil is that it has been formulated specifically for sensual play. This one by Woo More Play is one of the most popular coconut options currently available. In addition to organic coconut oil, they’ve added beeswax and stevia to lend extra TLC for your most sensitive tissues.
As noted, Uberlube has been physician-endorsed and is an excellent choice if you prefer a lube that feels more silky rather than wet or slick. Since you may benefit from extra lubrication when you’re postpartum, silicone can help maintain moisture during sexual activity. Nothing compares to Uberlube in terms of being a high-quality lube with no greasy residue. Fun fact, it also works like a charm for taming frizzy hair!
If coconut oil or silicone lubricant feels a bit too oily to you, Coconu’s water-based lube offers the nourishing benefits of coconut in a lighter formula. Its organic coconut water can help add moisture for any postpartum dryness, and its overall consistency is smooth and feels remarkably similar to your body’s natural lubrication.
The spotlight should not be limited to your women’s health-related care and considerations. Moms deserve to have a little fun and try something different, too. You could experiment with something flavorful, tingly, or well-suited for exploration. If you’re hoping to add a dash of spice to your sex life, a fresh bottle of lube can be just the seasoning.
K-Y Warming Liquid Personal Lube has a natural feel that helps you and your partner connect more deeply, making intimate activities even more comfortable and enjoyable. This warming liquid lubricant is easy to use and non-greasy.
Another Foria gem, this arousal oil is similar to their CBD sex oil, but it’s going to extra-awaken your senses down there. Alongside organic MCT coconut oil and hemp extract, there is an infusion of botanicals like cinnamon, ginger, and peppermint to increase your body’s sensitivity and take stimulation to new heights.
If you’re down for exploring with other forms of penetration, Sliquid’s Sassy formula is a thicker version of their H2O lube. That means you’re getting that same super clean ingredient list, but with extra lubrication.
Besides being an avid reader and writer since girlhood, Katherine decided to kick her literacy-laden background up a notch by receiving her Master’s in teaching, and went on to teach English Language Arts to high schoolers for several years. As a former intern at The Everymom, Katherine wrote about topics such as maternal wellness, sex and relationships, and more.
Ever since she began her editorial work and interned for The Everymom during college, McKenna’s dedication to this field and drive to gain as much knowledge as possible has only continued to grow day by day. She draws from her experiences as a nanny and passion for topical conversations to write thoughtful pieces on news, entertainment, culture, and lifestyle.
