Wellness

Sober Curious? Here’s How to Explore Sobriety as a Mom

written by BRETT NICOLE HAYDEN
Source: ColorJoy Stock
Source: ColorJoy Stock

For most of us, our relationship with alcohol is ever-evolving. And depending on many outside factors, everyone’s view on alcohol is different. That being said, there are a few universal truths. First, drinking alcohol is an ingrained part of our society, for better or for worse. Second, when used intentionally and in moderation, it doesn’t have to be a negative part of most of our lives. But we do know copious alcohol consumption can be harmful to our physical, mental, and emotional health. 

Lately, the idea of sobriety has been floating around social media. This ‘sober curious’ movement has opened up discussions about limiting drinking and exploring sobriety. People are becoming fed up with two-day hangovers, making decisions they regret in the morning, and not getting the rest they need to be productive in their day-to-day lives. 

It’s not our style here to judge anyone, and we know that not everyone wants or needs to cut out alcohol. However, if you are feeling sober curious, here’s how to explore drinking less—or giving it up completely.

 

 

What does it mean to be ‘sober curious’?

We’re probably all familiar with ‘dry January,’ where people challenge themselves to take a break from alcoholic drinks for a month after the holidays. Those who have been successful often end the month explaining to friends how good it felt to wake up without a hangover, sleep better, and experience less anxiety during the ‘Sunday-scaries.’ 

Many people are choosing to take it a step further, exploring total sobriety for a myriad of personal reasons. But being ‘sober curious’ doesn’t mean we have to have a reason to cut out alcohol like trying to conceive, being pregnant, or dealing with a drinking problem, anyone can simply give sobriety a try for the sole purpose of feeling better and getting healthier. 

 

Why are people taking a break from alcohol?

Why are so many people choosing to explore sobriety? As we said, there could be a number of personal reasons, but it’s no secret that alcohol has few health benefits, and drinking in excess an be incredibly harmful to our health. 

The physical benefits of cutting out alcohol are plentiful. Forgoing that regular glass (or two) of wine can lower blood sugar and blood pressure, lessen heartburn, indigestion, and headaches, increase our energy, and help us sleep better. Of course, alcohol also affects important internal organs like our liver, which filters the toxins in alcohol, and our heart, that has to work overtime when we become dehydrated from alcohol. 

As busy moms, we know how important having higher energy levels and a good night’s rest can be. What may not be so clear is just how much alcohol can impact our sleep patterns. While alcohol typically helps us fall asleep quickly, research shows that drinking disrupts our quality of sleep throughout the night. 

Our bodies’ response to alcohol on a physical level, like a decrease in quality sleep, can lead to lasting emotional and relationship issues. Studies have also found that decreasing our alcohol intake can improve our relationships as we can be more present for the people in our lives, can lessen the effects of depression, and can even increases libido. Cutting out or cutting back on alcohol means saying ‘goodbye’ to pesky hangovers that tend to rob us of a day (or more) of productivity. 

 

 

How to explore sober living 

As great as this all is, experimenting with sobriety tends to be tougher than it sounds for many. Though there are a lot of benefits to forgoing alcohol, it also tends to be a reliable thing to turn to after a long day, or an easy way to loosen up and get out of our comfort zone at a social gathering.

Then there’s the pesky “Why aren’t you drinking?” “Are you pregnant?” questions we have to dodge each time we opt for water over a merlot. So what does sobriety look like on a practical level? There are certain things we can do to explore sober living that won’t derail all of our routines. 

 

Find new ways of decompressing

Back in 2020, due in part to the global pandemic, ‘mom wine culture’ was at an all time high. To get through weeks of uncertainty, consistent fear and confusion, and our bodies regularly being in fight or flight mode, many people (not just moms), turned to alcohol for a way to relax. The practice of decompressing with alcohol was not a new concept in 2020, but it did become more popularized and accepted, especially with the help of social media. It’s no surprise that winding down at the end of the night with a bottle of wine became even more of the norm. 

Now that it seems we’ve finally been able to get back into a new routine, many may have kept on the habit of reaching for the wine bottle at night as a means of relaxing. After a long day of working and taking care of a family, it’s safe to say we deserve a little TLC. The good news is that there’s ways to do so without dealing with the aftermath of alcohol the next day. Instead of heading to the wine rack, try one of the following:

 

Try a zero proof alcohol alternative or a fun mocktail recipe

Another way to enjoy exploring sobriety is by trying different non-alcoholic beverages. With more and more consumers becoming sober curious, more NA brands have come out in recent years. Instead of picking up a bottle of wine on our way home, we can reach for an alcohol alternative like Hiyo, Spiritless, or Olipop. Many of our favorite brands already make NA options as well!

And on that note, it can be really enjoyable to experiment with different types of mocktails. Along with NA canned drinks, there are options for zero proof liquors like tequila and vodka that mimic the taste of alcohol without the harsh side effects. We can try making our go-to drinks with zero proof alcohol to see how they compare, as well as experiment with recipes that are entirely out of the norm for us. 

When it comes to social events, most venues are including more mocktail options. We can either ask if they have mocktail list, or to make a particular cocktail ‘virgin,’ and any decent bartender will be able to make it happen. When in doubt, we can always opt for a club soda with lime or any other sparkling beverage. This way we’re not feeling left out, but we’re also not dealing with a hangover the next day. 

 

 

Try out activities that don’t involve alcohol

One of the most challenging parts about experimenting with sobriety is all of the events that involve alcohol. Growing up in the Midwest, I learned early on that each event I went to, whether that be a concert or a 5th birthday party, alcohol was likely to be offered. In fact, it’s so commonplace, that “going out for a drink” is considered an event. And while I don’t judge anyone for indulging, it made me start to wonder what types of activities I could do that didn’t need to involve drinking. I realized there are plenty of things to do that can be really enjoyable,without alcohol. Some of my favorites  are:

  • Bowling
  • Going to the movies
  • Taking a cooking classes
  • Trying a new exercise class

 

Respond to “Why aren’t you drinking?”

Unfortunately, not everyone has gotten the memo that it’s quite rude to comment on someone’s choice to not drink alcohol. So what should we do when exploring sobriety and someone asks about it at a social event? One thing that I believe can be helpful is having casual conversations about being ‘sober curious’ with friends and family in smaller settings before we’re out in bigger crowds or at events. This gives us an opportunity to explain why we’re choosing to take a break from alcohol, and may even influence other to try it out as well. 

If someone we’re not as close with is curious as to why we’re not drinking, or there’s a certain friend or family member who just doesn’t “get it,” it’s important to remember we don’t owe anyone an explanation. When we’re asked why we’re not drinking, it’s up to us to decide how much or how little information we choose to give.

If you’re like me—a chronic people-pleaser and over explainer—this concept can be tough to grasp. I want to explain myself in much more detail than necessary and will most certainly get uncomfortable if someone keeps coming at me with questions. In these moments, it helps to remind myself that sharing only what I feel comfortable with is normal; anyone who presses for information I’m not willingly sharing is actually the one being rude. 

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