Valentine's Day

How My Mom Made Valentine’s Day Special As a Kid

written by PATTY SCHEPEL
valentine's day traditions for families"
valentine's day traditions for families
Source: @piecesofemerald
Source: @piecesofemerald

My siblings and I didn’t get new underwear for Christmas. We got underwear every Valentine’s Day instead. While I’m not here to talk about how my mother gave me my very first thong in the middle of an Olive Garden—yes, that did happen—I want to talk about how she was pretty great about making February 14 NOT about “crushes” or “rejection.” On this particular day, she made us focus on “love” in a different way.

Whether a crush checked “yes” or “no” to “Will you be my Valentine?” she wanted us to know that there would always be someone out there who loved us—in this case, it was her. With that, a Valentine’s Day family tradition was born. Every year, we went out to dinner as a family, and we opened Valentine’s Day gifts (hence, the gifted thong) in the middle of a restaurant (with other non-underwear-related gifts). This is how my mom made Valentine’s Day special as a kid.

Valentine’s Day Family Tradition

While my mom and dad could have stepped away for a Valentine’s Day date night out for two, she made dinner something for us as a family to look forward to. Every year, restaurants would be filled with couples dressed up with bouquets in hand, and there my family was with a table for six. We did this tradition year after year for as long as I can remember, up until I left for college. I’d be lying to you if I said I wasn’t sad the first time I found myself without them for Valentine’s Day dinner my freshman year.

valentine's day traditions for families
Source: @occasions.byshakira

She would fill little goodie bags with little love notes and Valentine’s Day treats. And now that I’m thinking about it, I can’t quite pinpoint all the other things we received. There was definitely an element of joy to opening Valentine’s Day gifts, but that’s not really why I loved celebrating with her. What I remember the most is how much fun we had making it a family-friendly Valentine’s Day celebration. I remember lots of laughter and quality time. Once I hit my teen years, I never worried about if I had a boyfriend or not because I knew it didn’t really matter.

My Takeaway From My Mom’s Tradition

I think the biggest thing for me is how my mom approached Valentine’s Day as a family tradition. It had an impact on me throughout my childhood and into adulthood. Without outwardly saying it, this one day didn’t have to define my love life as I grew up. I never felt like I needed to have a Valentine or an intimate relationship to make me feel like I was loved.

Believe it or not, I’m still a romantic, but my takeaway with her approach? Love on Valentine’s Day can be found through different avenues, like spending the day with family. It can also look like spending the day with your friends or having a Galentine’s Day. It can look however you want it to, as long as you’re surrounded by the people who you love and love you the most.

Celebrating Valentine’s Day With My Kids

It’s the same message I want to send to my kids, too. Will my husband and I necessarily take them out to a restaurant this year? Probably not. Actually, I already know that won’t happen. They’re little right now, and I’d rather not worry about young, sleepy kids during a Valentine’s Day dinner rush. An early bedtime and at-home V-day crafts sound way better for all of us, truly. But I can see myself doing the same thing my mom did in some capacity (I recently saw a mom write love notes on cutout paper hearts, and she taped them on her kids’ doors, so I’m leaning toward this idea this year). Maybe I’ll come up with my own version of “restaurant Valentine’s Day” as they get a little older.

valentine's day traditions for families
Source: @mrscofieldandco

What I do want to make sure of is that I continue to send them the same message: that I love them no matter what they’re going through. I don’t expect them to spend every Valentine’s Day with me. If they’re in a relationship in the future, then by all means, go to dinner! Whatever the situation is, I want them to know they are always welcome at my Valentine’s Day dinner table.

Valentine’s Day in the Future

Maybe one day my husband and I will find ourselves celebrating this day alone. In the meantime, I’d like to settle on trying to make Valentine’s Day a tradition for the whole family. One last thought: I think I’ll let them open their new pair of underwear at home. Time will tell.

patty schepel the everymom editorial intern
ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Patty Schepel, Editorial Assistant

As the editorial assistant, Patty works with The Everymom’s team on pitches, creating original articles, updating existing content, photo sourcing, writing shopping product descriptions, inputting freelance articles, and more. When she’s not working, you can find her spending time with her family, training for half marathons—she ran one 16 weeks pregnant—traveling, cooking, reading a rom-com, and keeping her sourdough starter, Rose, alive.