"May is the month of Mother’s Day—the one day we should be able to do whatever brings us joy (and not only buy gifts for our MIL). But it also begins the end of school rush, is home to teacher appreciation week, and the final weeks to prep for summer childcare. Many moms find it ironic that the month celebrating moms also rivals the holidays as one of the most stressful times of the year. Some on social media even call this time of year “Maycember.” Not to mention May is also mental health awareness month—reminding moms to “ask for help,” “look for balance,” and “give ourselves grace,” as if the majority of moms aren’t the default parent with a never-ending to-do list.
For example, the first end-of-school email just landed in my inbox, which included end-of-year celebrations, fundraiser details, and info about multiple field trips. May 1 marks one month until their school is out for summer break, and even though my kids aren’t hitting any big milestones this year, like graduating kindergarten or heading to middle school, this May is still a time of transition, reflection, and stress.
I know I’m not alone, so it feels right to shine a spotlight on everything moms do in May. Because even though it’s the month we celebrate mothers, May kind of sucks for moms. Here’s why:
Mother’s Day Expectations
Mother’s Day is on May 11 this year, and expectations run high. I remember my first Mother’s Day brunch spent with my husband and 7-month-old daughter. In new parenthood, we didn’t get out much, and the stress of eating out with a crying baby amongst other families with toddlers running around the restaurant didn’t exactly feel celebratory. In subsequent years, I learned that what I really wanted for Mother’s Day was some time away from my family (sorry, kids).
But depending on how moms want to spend Mother’s Day, sometimes other obligations take precedence. Maybe it’s buying gifts for your mom and mother-in-law, planning the brunch spot, or even arranging the very thoughtful flower bouquet given to you by your partner that still needs water and a vase.
Mother’s Day can also be an emotional minefield for some. Whether you lost your mom, are trying to become a mom, or have a complicated relationship with your mom, Mother’s Day can feel like pressing on a painful bruise.
Of course, there are bright moments if you’re a mom. The baby’s handprint art from daycare, the Mad-Libs-style “All About My Mom” Mother’s Day card your preschooler filled out (i.e., ‘My mom’s favorite thing to drink is… wine’), or the forced family photo you’ll look back on with nostalgia in a few years are all sweet spots surrounding Mother’s Day. But no one should assume Mother’s Day is stress-free for moms.
Teacher Appreciation Week
Teacher Appreciation Week also falls during the first full week in May. And teachers deserve to be appreciated and celebrated. Theoretically, it makes sense for this acknowledgement to happen around the same time as the school year winds down. However, couldn’t we celebrate teachers at any time during the year? Certainly a mid-year slump in, say, the gloom of late February or early March, could be lifted with some thoughtful Teacher Appreciation gifts, free lunches, or handmade cards.
Why do we need to add more to-dos to moms’ already overflowing plate in May? Because let’s remember, classroom parents and school volunteers are disproportionately moms. Yes, more dads volunteer at school now than they did in the past, but so much still falls on moms’ shoulders.
Moms are planning the appreciation gifts/luncheon/class card and/or video and hounding the other parents to participate and engage. Not to mention so many teachers are moms themselves, so they’re dealing with the “Ides of May” plus handling kids in their classrooms who are extra excited for the upcoming end of school and summer break.
Ask teachers what they really want to feel appreciated? They probably would say fully-funded classrooms, safe schools, pay that reflects their value, and adequate support staff to help cover their overflowing plates.
The End of the School Year
And here’s where I find myself the most stressed—and emotional—in May. First, there’s the logistics of the end of school. Remembering which day it is for spirit week, volunteering for end-of-school parties, and driving to field trips. Not to mention the end of sports seasons, graduations, and religious rites of passage like First Communion also happen in May. Then there’s the coordinating of summer camps, activities, and childcare I can’t put off any more as the last day of school deadline looms.
At the same time, the end of school always gets me in my feelings because I can never believe how fast the year went. This year, my kids lost teeth and got braces. They biked to school and walked to the library after school on their own. They met new people, tried new sports, and created deeper friendships. When Google feeds me a photo memory from August, I can’t believe how different they look now compared to their first day of school photo. It’s hard and wonderful to watch my kids grow, and May reminds me of it all.
So, yes, May is a lot for moms. And if you’re a mom reading this, we’ll get through this month like we always do. We’ll take a collective deep breath on June 1 when we can turn over some of the stress to the dads, right? Oh wait, Father’s Day is June 15.
Kathy Sisson, Senior Editor
Kathy Sisson has been a key contributor in the editorial parenting space for eight years, not only as a full-time editor at The Everymom but previously as a freelance writer for top parenting sites, including Scary Mommy, Motherly, Parent Co., and more. As an editor at The Everymom, she has produced hundreds of articles on a range of parenting topics, reviewed dozens of family-focused products, interviewed leading experts in the children and parenting world, and created viral parenting social media content. A mom of two, she is committed to sharing the honest, helpful, and often humorous stories of motherhood.